[Kat9]

I have circumstances that I need some quidance in. We are not familiar with the system at all. My daughters friend has entered the foster care system after being abandoned by his family. He is soon to be 17. We asked to become a foster care home specifcally to get him out of the group home he is in. Can someone help me on what I need to do to help get him here with us? He is a fantastic kid and does not deserve this. I have talked to his CW and she is setting up a home study for us. I have no idea what that entails..just the horror stories I have read via the internet. Please, I am very anxious and need some pointers.

Thank you.

[lucyjoy]

It can take a long time if they require the normal foster care classes. The study itself is not a big deal. Some states allow kinship placements which could speed things up, but it depends on the state and the circumstances that brought the child into care. It may be worth asking about, though.

[Kat9]

I don't think they can use kinship placement if we are not family, can they? He has no family left in this state and no one in his family in his home state will take him. Also, could it go any faster being as it is for a specific child who is 17? The worker said they don't normally place kids in homes where they are not family, but being as he has no one left..they would make an exception. Could she possibly have been referring to kinship then?

Thank you for the help.

[lucyjoy]

Kinship does not always have to be family. Before coming to me, 3 of my children lived in non family kinship placements. They can speed things up some, if they want to. Even though this is a terrific kid, be sure to get all the information in case there is something you may not have been aware of. I took a kid a 16 with little information and he was a great kid, but it's always best to be prepared.

[Kat9]

Thank you. Yes, it might seem that he may have troubles. He was abandoned due to his parents divorce and their medical and drug problems. So, it's through no fault of his own.. We have known him for 10 months and he has spent the night a few times and has been over for day visits every weekend before his mother went on the run. I hope that has given us a look into his nature. I have 3 children of my own, two of which are adults now, so I am confidant that we can help him tackle some of the troubles he may have.
I will inquire about the kinship placement. I appreciate that.

[Gryph]

We take them as an alternative to a group home, kicked out of group home, placements and lock ups all full. We have taken many teenage boys even when our daughters were young but we wouldn't ever take a daughter's male friend. He will have problems you don't know about and he is a boy with all the hormones and ambitions...

[Kat9]

Well..that's what makes the world the glorious place that it is. Everyone is different. I could no more turn this boy away than to disown my own. I am aware of sexual feelings of young adults and it has all been discussed with he and my daughter. We know him and we love him like a son and if we can give him a safe and stable home, then that's what we will do. I have to go with my gut on this one.
Thank you for your thoughts though. Honestly.

[Just Julie]

We became foster parents specifically to get a 17 year-old stranger 3 months before high school graduation. We are now his parents and he a wonderful son. The process took about 3 weeks 3 years ago. We drove the paperwork all over town ourselves to expedite matters rather than rely on mail service. Since foster parents willing to take older teens are such a rare commodity and no one else seems interested in taking this young man, I should think you will have no problem. Sadly, it will free up his bed for another, and for that the state ought to be grateful. God bless.

[Kat9]

Originally posted by Julie Barker
We became foster parents specifically to get a 17 year-old stranger 3 months before high school graduation. We are now his parents and he a wonderful son. The process took about 3 weeks 3 years ago. We drove the paperwork all over town ourselves to expedite matters rather than rely on mail service. Since foster parents willing to take older teens are such a rare commodity and no one else seems interested in taking this young man, I should think you will have no problem. Sadly, it will free up his bed for another, and for that the state ought to be grateful. God bless.

Thank you so much for the encouragement. It means a lot.

[eileenfk]

There are certain requirements, where if one meets those requirements, they can petition the court for something that I think is called "intermediary status".
If they meet the requirements, a petition may be granted to give the person the same consideration as family.
Once this consideration is given, they can "rush" the certification process, at least in this area.

I am working on seeing if I can get that status right now, for some neighbor kids, that have spent significant time with me over the last 4 years.
However, I am getting mixed information on what exactly the requirements are.
I am sure they are different in each state (possibly even at the county level).

- Eileen

[Kat9]

We have tried to see if we could have this boy for the day as he is going downhill fast in this facility. Can't they see that there is no reason for him to be there when there is a home for him where he is loved and wanted? Don't they care? I have no idea what is being done now as the CW has not called in a week. This boy calls her answering machine everyday begging to get him outta there. He said he is tired of their lies. I am so frustrated.

[newMafamily]

If there is no reason for this boy being in a group home other then parent abandonment (Confidentiality rules may prevent you from knowing certain issues) then perhaps you need some type of legal aide. Even if the boy has some other issues perhaps pushing them legally can get you in the loop so you can be there for him when they think he is ready to leave the group home. Even just mentioning legal help may assist you in getting them to move. Just some thoughts. I wish you luck- some kids have such tough lives.

[Kat9]

Originally posted by newMafamily
If there is no reason for this boy being in a group home other then parent abandonment (Confidentiality rules may prevent you from knowing certain issues) then perhaps you need some type of legal aide. Even if the boy has some other issues perhaps pushing them legally can get you in the loop so you can be there for him when they think he is ready to leave the group home. Even just mentioning legal help may assist you in getting them to move. Just some thoughts. I wish you luck- some kids have such tough lives.

Indeed, they sure do. I have talked to the CW today and she is arranging a brief visit at a neutral location..not allowed at the shelter. She says she has filed papers for us to have a home study and now says that part is out of her hands. It is within my legal right to look into legal help when we are not kin? I don't want to hurt the process at all. But, I certainly want to expedite it for him. I want to be a little forceful without being a pain so she will continue to talk with my family about this.

[newMafamily]

You can always seek the advice of a lawyer. I am not saying you necessarily need a lawyer but perhaps some legal advice about the process and what kind of custody you can get and in what time frame (from a knowledgable source). You also need to know what should be happening so you know whether the CW is moving the process along. Sometimes employers have programs that allow legal advice like this for a single visit free (larger companies). Sometimes there are local legal aid or child advocacy groups you can consult. He's 17 and it seems you want to move quickly so that is why I suggest it. Wish you luck.

[Kat9]

Thank you. Found out from the CW that we are not going to be foster parents. We are going for custody. She asked if that's what I wanted and I said Yes. Thinking that meant fostering, but apparently not. I am fine with that. Very happy with that. Waiting on the home study. We had a day visit with him and it went well. Thank you for all the suggestions and guidance. Hopefully, we shall have him here in a few weeks.