[prayby2004]

HI,

My husband and I have been on a long journey, starting our adoption process internationally 18 months ago. We have decided to expand our search (our agency is saying possibly another 15 months for a referral for Colombia, South America) for children. I started looking on state photolistings (DFCS) and located two different sets of siblings that I e-mailed the caseworkers about, inquiring about the children. My agency has already faxed our homestudy to one of the caseworkers (on Tuesday). The caseworker e-mailed me to say that she received it. I asked her in the e-mail what the process was for adopting via DCFS since I am totally new to this.. All she said is that they are "staffing" on these two children this month. That's all she said!!! What exactly happens? If the child/children are on their photolisting, the parental rights are terminated.. what then happens? Do they accept homestudies for a certain amount of time? If no other family has expressed interest within a certain amount of time, then what? After receiving the homestudy, how long, do you think, before I might hear something? Do you think I'd be more of a bother if I called her mid-week, next week??

I would completely appreciate any feedback. I am really clueless on this.

thanks!
Patty

[lumina]

I don't know what she meant by "staffing". I have heard that if the foster family that has the child wants to adopt, they are given "1st dibs" so-to-speak. I'm not sure they would list pics of the kids if their foster family wanted to adopt....but maybe, incase it didn't go through.
This is Washington state, it could be different elsewhere.

[lumina]

Oh, and I would call or e-mail. Don't wait. You're not being pushy. Just tell her you're very serious or anxious to know.

[riley6]

Some states hold the homestudies until they have three families that they can go to staffing on. From those hs's, the committee will choose one and one back up family.

[prayby2004]

Thanks everyone for your responses. We ended up being chosen as one of the three families for the sibling group!! However, that excitement didn't last long. They called us yesterday and asked a few questions. Thirty minutes later the adoption specialist telephoned us to say they had chosen another family. The very first question they asked us was if we were a licensed foster family, which we aren't because we just started looking into this.. our focus has been on international adoption. They also questioned us about both of us working full-time. We work full-time because we don't have children yet, so why WOULDN'T we?? I nicely replied that I will be taking 3 months off of work, then work 2 days a week, one being a Saturday (husband will be home) then the other day, he will stay home with the kids because his job is flexible and can allow this.. so we stressed on the phone with them (as well as it's on the last page of our homestudy) that we are going to ELIMINATE the need for daycare. My husband and I have also been divorced before and I feel like this was a strike against us, even though our ex-spouses were the ones who left, they are the ones who had the extramarital affairs. My husband and I have been married almost 5 yrs and have been through a great deal together and all that we've been through has made us a stronger couple. We also have God as the center of our lives, unlike when we were with our ex-spouses. Anyway, I was devastated. I really wanted those boys. My husband is 40 and I'm 37. We thought about becoming licensed foster parents but have decided to just stop this route. If we foster and a child is placed with us, then the child goes back, then our hearts are ripped out again. We have been through so many difficulties just trying to have a child. My husband is getting really tired emotionally of it all. So, looks like we're just going to wait the possibly 15 more months for a referral on children from Colombia. We've spent so much time and money on it. I can't believe how difficult it is to just try to have a child. Some days are harder than others.

Patty

[riley6]

I'm sorry about your disappointment. Hold on to the fact that your child IS out there. After he/she's home, all of this will just be a distant memory as you enjoy the love and snuggles of your child!

[lumina]

I think you can do fostercare, but only request children that are legally free (or they suspect are going to be legally free).
Maybe that would work for you?

I understand your disappointment. It's hard to hurry up and wait.

[jamie3]

I don't think the fact that you have been divorced is considered. I do think the state prefers licensed foster/adopt families due to the amount of training they have already had about special needs kids. If they are on the photolisting, they are considered special needs or hard to place.

I do think that you could parent a child much sooner through the state rather than international adoption if you become licensed. We started classes in July, became licensed in October, and we were offerered 3 chldren (to foster) before Christmas.

However, we were interested in a certain age and sex so we waited. Our boys moved in Feb. 2.

[newMafamily]

Many families take the foster classes and go into a foster to adopt status. They only accept children to foster that are free for adoption and they would consider adopting. I don't know about this is your state but you might check into it. My guess would be that the reason you were not accepted may have more to do with not being approved foster parents then some of the other things you mentioned. Perhaps the other placement could take the children for foster care prior to adopting them. You might tell the social worker for the children you are still interested and ask her (or someone at your local DFCS office) if your chances for adoption are better if you get approved to foster. They propably won't discuss the specifics of their current decision but they might be willing to offer information in general that would be helpful. (This assuming your state has a foster to adopt program).

[marilyna]

Patty,
there are some other things you could try that should be quicker than going through the state.
Assuming you have the money already to pay for an adoption, you could send a letter to adoption agencies saying that you are already homestudy approved and looking for a baby to adopt. Ask them to please call you if a situation comes up that they have no family for. Make sure you have a nice profile ready to send out when you get called.
If you are open to different races, it will be easier to get called.
We sent out 30 of these letters and received, I believe four calls from agencies wanting to present our profile to birthmothers.
We were never able to get our agency to give us a copy of our homestudy, so we weren't able to be considered for these babies, so make sure you have a copy in hand that you can send quickly.
You could probably make phone calls instead of sending letters.
Hope this helps
Marilyn

[Peggy]

That you got selected so soon, is amazing. Being a licensed fosterhome does not mean you have to take in foster children. You can as other people have said, specifiy that you are adopting and you will be considered for children who are ready to be adopted. Technically when a child from the state is placed in your home, they are classified as foster children, until the adoption is finalized. Finalization can take up to a year in some states, so that is why you need to be licensed. You can check with your state, you may only need to take some classes and they will probably accept your current homestudy, or update it for free.

[SuzBerg]

I am very new to posting. I have read alot of posts but I have been reluctant to join in. So I hope y'all will bear with me.

But I wanted to share the quick (as quick as I can) version of our story in response to the original question. We are in the processing of adopting a two year old girl from our state foster care system. We were licensed to adopt (but not considered a foster home) because we were open to legally free (parents rights already have been terminated) children. We have three biological sons and really felt that if we did foster it would be hard for them if the children didn't stay, that's why we chose straight adoption.

We took the same classes as foster families take and we had a private non-profit agency represent us and do our home-study. We were the only family at the staffing (our new daughter has some significant medical needs), so at least in this case they didn't wait to have more families presented.

We went to staffing four times previous to our placement and were the alternate family three of those times. It was so difficult, but now looking back I see why those children were meant for the other families because we needed/wanted to be available for our little Emily (she just got here last Wednesday and it's as if she's always been a part of our family). Anyway I wanted to share my experience in case it helps anyone else consider adoption through foster care. I know it was the right thing for us.
I hope I am making sense?

- Suz
Mom to Ty-13, Cal-9, Coop-6 and Em-2

[ccemtp63]

I'm not sure I'm doing this right but I have questions about open adoptions from foster care. Can anyone help me?

[HappyMomAnna]

In most states in order to adopt a child in State Care a family needs a 'state' homestudy. This Homestudy generally is the final step in being a certified Foster Care placement.

The reason that Families need to be certified is that after the child/children are placed with a family and until the adoption is final the family with the children must have a 'legal' title to allow you to get medical care and act as the childs guardian. Generally, most states will make an adoptive family wait at least 6-months before they CAN finalize an adoption and during this wiating period the family recieves the foster care support payments.

Completeing a STATE Homestudy is simple, and generally free--however it can take several months to finish.

Families can adopt children who are legally free without providing Foster Care--before deciding to adopt. Children who are legally free generally have significant issues as the trend during the past ten years has been to place children into Foster to Adopt homes with families who are willing to act as Foster Parents and work on issues to reunite the child with the biological family and also willing to adopt the children as a last resort.

Staffing or Committee is a state process where several families are selected generally by the childs caseworker and a meeting is called. The childs caseworker--the caseworker for the interested adoptive families and other people who know the child such as doctors, therapists are invited to meet with a panel of several usually 3-5 other uninvolved caseworkers where a decision is made as to where the child will be placed and a back up family is also selected.

Typically families who adopt by way of staffing or committee are given limited info--and do not meet the child prior to the decision being made by the state. The info is all provided at the time the family is selected and there is generally a 7-14 day wait for the family to change their minds...or for the other families to appeal the decision.

Generally the children who are adopted by way of staffing or committee have significant issues which would most often need the direct and constant involvement of the family for an extended period of time after placement. Some states will NOT place children in homes where there is not at least one stay home parent. Attachment can be a serious issue with children who have been in Foster Care and most often these children NEED the consistancy of being home with someone for some period of time. Some adoptive parents of older children or special needs children or sibling groups will keep the children out of school for the first 6mo to a year in order to get to know the kids and help attachment.

Often a committee or staffing will choose the families that plan to stay home and who demonstrate that the understand the magnitude of the committment they are making.... Adoption of a child or sibling group from the Foster Care system takes very dstrong and dedicated families. The stress and the issues that a family can face during the first year can be overwhelming. The highest rate for adoption disruptions is with sibling groups of two children placed with first time parents. Disruption is devastating to the family and the children who will only suffer more attahcment damage when an adoption fails.

Adopting a child or sibling group you see listed as a waiting child in most states requires several hours of training in the issues that come with children who were born drug affected or children who have been abused, neglected or sexually abused... Generally these children are not listed because they have had great backgrounds and they have suffered deep trauma, loss and grief.

Families who want to adopt children from Foster Care need to be strong and have a good support system. These children need families that are 100% aware of the implications this adoption process may include. Some families are NOT able to be the kind of family to do this sort of adoption and that IS OK TOO.

Good luck to ALL WHO WAIT!