[laurafye]

First, I'm very pleased to have found this website/forum. My husband and I have made the decision to become foster parents. Just a little backround: We have 3 children 8yrs, 19mo, and a new 6 week old. I understand the process (classes, ect) may take some time, so we're starting the process now even though our baby is so small.
With that said, my husband and I realized today, after I was asked by the "home-finder" what age we would prefer, that our answers were different. His reply was that we should accept an older adolecent, say in elementary school. My reply was to accept a newborn-toddler. His reasoning was that we could have more of a positive influence on an older child. My reasoning was more involved: I'm concerned about discipline problems and protecting my biological children (physically and/or emotionally).
Any ideas/experience anyone can share on this topic?
Laura

[semay7]

I'm concerned about discipline problems and protecting my biological children (physically and/or emotionally).

It would be a very risky situation to take an older child w/ young ones around the house. Most people recommend that a foster child be the youngest member of a household. Even preschool and young school-age children in care often come w/ so many 'issues' that worrying about a younger child's safety is a very real concern.

[laurafye]

Thank you for validating my concern. I don't mean to sound selfish when I say I'm ONLY interested in taking in a certain age. I want so bad to help whatever children come into our lives, but I can't help but worry about discipline issues, including--and most worrysome for me--sexual issues (acting out on one of my other children). My second worry would be a violent child I couldn't control. I feel as if I only accept infants/toddlers, I can prevent trauma on my biological children. Plus, and very minor, I personally think infants/toddlers are easy. I know, I know, I'm one of the few women who finds getting up in the middle of the night easier than caring for an older child. I'm crazy like that!
And I'll be honest, we expect our bc to maintain good behavior and my husband and I are considered "strict" to some parents. If I don't have the freedom to discipline an older child the way I discipline my own, (and I fully understand why), than I wouldn't be able to keep my home in a somewhat controlled state. Not to say we are THAT strict, just more than some and more than we could be with an older foster child. Gosh, I hope I'm making sense....
Laura