[Daughterofruth]

Hullo

My family (myself, DH and bd8) are considering becoming a foster
family. One thing nags at me though and I thought this might be
a good place to ask for others' opinions.

To differing degrees, DH and I are Pagan. We are the type of
person for whom spirituality is an intensely private and personal
thing and most of our family and friends are not aware of our
beliefs and we're fine with that. We live in a fairly conservative, heavily churched area.

We hear horror stories though of similarly-believing people who
suffer from discrimination and worse (losing jobs, custody of their
children, etc.). I suppose my question is, could the fact that our
beliefs are outside the mainstream be a factor in being approved
for fostering?

I appreciate the fact that religion is such a flashpoint and I have
no desire to start a heavy discussion about it. But I would appreciate any insight you could provide

Thanks!

Angela

[cindy123456789]

I am just begining the process as well. I am not sure what makes you term yourself as pagan. My hubby was raised in one organized religion, I was raised by the religion I taught myself. Our religious views are very private and personal. We have not found a church we feel comfortable in of any religious background. Our views are relatively similiar. I think the important thing would be to be willing to take a child to the church of their choice if thery so desired. As I have studied books on the basis of most major religions today, I see little difference in thier origins, only in their practice. there can be more differences between two churchs (For instance two First Baptisit), than two churches of different groups. It shouldn't worry you. It shouldn't be a problem. If you admit you are willing to encourage a child's religious preference, as long as it does them no physical or mental harm, it should sit better than one who will take all children regardless of background to only one church at all specified times. You are more willing to be open and see what a child needs and wants. Congradulations.

[cj416]

I don't know about other states, but here in OK they actually make you read and sign a form saying you would not force your religous beliefs on a child and you can not keep them from going to a church of their faith. Some of these kids that is all they have left.

[DianeS]

You may be limited in what agencies you will find to liscence you. If you live in a state where the foster care system is privatized, or mostly privatized, then you will run into many agency requirements that you will not meet. In my experience, most private agencies willing to deal with foster children are religiously-based. And since an agency can set any requirement they want to as long as it is the same or stricter than the state requirements, many require their foster parents to be their same religion.

But once you've found an agency that will work with you, you should be fine.

Every state I've heard of requires that you allow the foster children to practice their own religion in their own way, and require you to support the child in that. Which means transporting the child to his/her own church, and remaining to supervise if necessary. It means allowing the child to pray before meals, or wear a headcovering, or pray at certain times of the day, or fast or feast at certain times of the year.

It also means not requiring the child to participate in your religion. The religion can *be there*, you just can't force participation. The child cannot be forced to attend your church, or pray before meals, or wear a headcovering, or pray at certain times of the day, or fast or feast at certain times of the year.

In practice, it means the Christian family must allow the Muslim child to fast during Ramadan (did I match that religion and holiday correctly?), and provide an appropriate meal after dark on those days. The family can have their Christmas tree and Christmas dinner and attend their Christmas service, but must provide a babysitter if the Muslim child does not wish to come with them.

A child living with a family of a different faith happens all the time. As long as you find an agency you're comfortable with, the fact that your religion is less popular and known than others shouldn't affect anything.

[dadfor2]

well, i believe, when you are starting the process of adoption or fostering, you no longer have any privacy.....oh, i remember it well.

Its a druelling process about questions after questions.

one thing to remember, is that its not about you and your beliefs, its about the child and his/her beliefs.

In turn, when you tell them your religious preference (and you should) and you state that you will not bring any child into a catholic church, for instance, chances are they will only place kids that have no religion or follow your own faith.

The child comes first, i doubt people are going to look at your religion preference as an obstacle unless it will interfere with the child that will be placed with you.

THe childs needs are first, and if you are willing to place that childs needs first, i doubt it will be problem .

dadfor2

[Gryph]

They cannot discriminate on the grounds of religious beliefs. I barely remember them skirting our religious beliefs, giving us an opportunity to tell them but I think that we could have avoided it. Like stated above, you must honor the child's family's beliefs regardless of yours. In this manner, the foster parent's beliefs are irrelevant.

[PinkRibbon]

Originally posted by Gryph
They cannot discriminate on the grounds of religious beliefs.]

Sure, that's the law, but if a social worker or agency wants to discriminate, they will find ways to do so and not attribute it to paganism. You might want to say that you don't follow an organized religion but are spiritual and would support your child if s/he has formal religious convictions.
I'm agnostic/athiest, but consider myself a spiritual person, only god isn't part of that. I am adopting an older daughter and I would like to expose her to different churches/temples and allow her to make her own choice about religion, if she doesn't already have one.

[DianeS]

Gryph, if it is a private non-profit agency, then the CAN discriminate against people with certain religious beliefs.

Just like a church is allowed to hire a secretary who holds certain religious beliefs that are the same as the church's, an agency with religious beliefs is allowed to hire foster parents who hold certain religious beliefs that are the same as the agency's.

"They can't discriminate..." is a popular line, but only applies if the agency is a state one. If it's private, they can and they do.

[Gryph]

Diane,
If they receive federal funds, even private agencies cannot discriminate or they will lose the funding. I know of many privat agencies and they all receive federal money.

[Daughterofruth]

Thank you all for your input!

My philosophy is that its my job to educate and expose my bdaughter to a variety of religious belief systems so she can make her own informed choice when she comes of age, so respecting and encouraging another child's beliefs is definitely not a problem for me. Actually I enjoy learning about the beliefs of others so that would only be a plus

I remain very concerned about private agencies as they are usually religious-oriented. I guess my concern isn't so much about any foster children that might come into our home - we are very accepting towards those of other faiths - but rather the loss of religious privacy it might cause me or my own family. As someone said, there goes any privacy we might have! lol

Much to consider - thank you ALL for your thoughts, I eagerly read every single one

Angela

[DianeS]

Gryph, As long as the agency sets standards that are the same as, or more restrictive, than the state's standards, the priavte agency can discriminate against anything they wish.

The original poster of this question could NOT walk into Bethany Christian Services and become a foster parent. Bethany only works with christians. Period. They will not take a Pagan applicant. That information is publically available, and they've always done it that way.

I'm not arguing right or wrong, or even the legality of it. Just that it's done, and is apparantly fine with the federal and state governments, because they're still doing it. Must be some rule you and I don't know about.

[dadfor2]

even if its state funded, the social worker can have her own ideas also.

even though legally they cant discriminate, they can do so personally.....social workers are human beings too, with their own belief system also.

dadfor2

[hope4kids]

Many private agencies that are faith-based accept foster parents with different faiths. I think the thing I have found most ironic is that the agency I started with had Christian in their name, but the way they behaved was so very far from Christian! I am now with a Jewish agency and am being treated with respect, integrity, and am able to talk more openly about my faith even though I am not Jewish.

[NatureMommy]

...but I have pagan leanings as well. I make it a point not to share that with people that don't need to know. I simply say I am spiritual, but I don't belong to a church. There is still so much misinformation about paganism and the earth-centered religions that pre-date Christianity. If you don't plan to teach your foster children about paganism, at least not more than what's left of it in the usual celebrated holidays, (Easter eggs and chocolate rabbits, anyone? ) then I don't see why you'd need to share that. JMO.

[HappyMomAnna]

Our family religion is very mixed up. My DH believes he was born Cathloic and is now "Scientist" I am all over the place and have my own very personal spiritual beliefs.

When we accepted the placement of our pre-adoptive children from Foster Care we were 'expected' to provide our daughter with continued activity from HER beliefs. She still attends the Wednesday Night program with the same church organization that she did before she came to our home. We will continue to allow her to explore and attend the Church she chooses as wll as participate in our activities.

I do believe that when we were still acting as Foster Parents we were required to sign a paper saying that we would not force our child to change religions. Of course i believe that following the adoption we have the same rights here as any family does when it comes to religion.

....."and harm none"

Blessed be.