[donnamom]

Hi all,

I have some questions. I have just signed up to do weekend respite foster care for kids between the ages of 3-10. My biological son is 6, so I have toys that will work with a younger boy. Are there some good generic toys that a 7-10 year old will enjoy?

Are there any reasons I should not allow the foster child to play with my sons toys? (Planning to foster when he is at his dad's, at least initially.)

Are there any products I should keep on hand for african american hair care?

Should I schedule thier time or not worry too much about it. (They won't know anyone in the neighborhood.)

And, to be politically correct, is it more appropriate to use 'black' or 'african American'?

[mckenna]

Are there any reasons I should not allow the foster child to play with my sons toys? (Planning to foster when he is at his dad's, at least initially.)

i cannot see why a child should not be allowed to use your child's toys unless he has a very special toy or book and then i would just put it out of sight before the foster child/ren get to your house.

Are there any products I should keep on hand for african american hair care?

hopefully the children's foster parent would provide any special products their fchild might need. due to (aa) kids dry skin and hair, you probably won't have to wash thier hair if you only have them for 2 days. i would just keep some j & j baby wash and ivory soap on hand because (at least in my experience), have been not to drying on skin. also, keep really good lotion for skin on hand. i use an off brand of eucerin.

Should I schedule thier time or not worry too much about it. (They won't know anyone in the neighborhood.)

i would not schedule too much, those 24-48 hours will go very quickly, but do things that can be done last minute, the zoo, the park, a movie ect.

And, to be politically correct, is it more appropriate to use 'black' or 'african American'?

some one else will have to answer this, i used to use aa but recently i have been using brown or black. with the child/ren you won't have to use terminology, just kids. they will give you cues as to what they prefer.

[DianeS]

Definately put a few of your son's "special" toys away - the ones he doesn't like his friends playing with, either. Anything you'd bring out for a friend of his or a friend's child you babysat would probably be fine to bring out for a child staying with you for respite.

Be prepared with a plan for the rest of the respite time if you are placed with a child who immediately breaks a few of your son's toys. Will you permit him to play with others (and possibly break them, too?) or will you have an alternate plan?

Good toys for that older age range include legos, bionicles, toy cars (matchbox cars and others), books (your library can tell you what's popular right now) and videos (again, ask the library). You could even take the child with you to the library to choose a few books or videos to use while he was with you. By the time two or three children have requested the same book or video, you'll know it's probably worth buying to keep on hand. We also bought some "experiments with science" books - you know, the kind that tell you how to make volcanos and the like. They seem to be fairly popular all the time, if you don't mind helping and cleaning the mess!

If the child comes from a good foster home, he will hopefully bring a few favorite toys with him. That will help for the first few hours until they feel more settled in.

Also, call your friends who have kids in that age range (or older) and ask for donations of good toys their kids don't play with anymore. Most people are happy to get good used toys out of their kids' closets.

[Love_um_all]

I have used repite care and really appreciate it.
The fosterparent should send you everything(or almost) everything you should need. You should call them if you have their number or request they call you so you can ask about favorite foods/or unfavorite foods, or any thing that can be useful information. Foster parents want their foster kids to have a good time with you and should be accomadating. Ask about particular behavoirs, and what best works. Try to keep it easy for kids to have fun.

In regards to your sons toys, I would talk with you son, and ask him what he would like to share and what he wants put away. He needs to know someone is gonna be in his stuff. Maybe even buy a few things and activities special for respite weekends. You need to be respectful of "his things"... kids can get really get upset, esp if he is not there, and all his stuff is messed up.

Also, whatever bed these respite kids are going to us----USE A PLASTIC MATTRESS COVER. Even when kids are potty trained, a new envirnment and not wanting to get up in a strange dark house, they may--- let it go... it happens... don't fear it, just know it can happen

[donnamom]

I already have plastic bed covers on my list of things to get. My son is diagnosed with PDD and bedwets whenever he is stressed. (Like fjor two weeks straight over Christmas. He is tapering off now that he is back in school and the holidays are over. I keep lots of extra sheets around too.

[jolean12]

Congratulations! I wish you were in my area we really need some respite homes Are you just starting class or are you ready to take placements? Good luck and keep us posted.