[gmh3]

Hello,

My fiance and I are considering becoming foster/ adoptive parents instead of having our own children in the future (3 yrs? 5 yrs? more?). It seems selfish to have children when there are already so many out there that need help!

I am wondering what kind of parenting experience is expected of foster parents. Do agencies prefer parents who already have children, or are the training sessions enough? I am reading here on this forum about how hard it can be, and I'm wondering if doing something now would help prepare me for it later? What advice do you wish you had before becoming a foster parent?

Thanks!

[gmh3]

I was thinking more of older kids, since there seems to be less people willing to take them in. But older kids would be more difficult, and without having had my own children, I'm not sure we would be prepared enough. Thanks for the suggestion- I will look into it.

-gmh3

[jodyk]

I'm single, no children of my own & the fm of a 2 year old boy.
Mostly what they're looking for is loving people to be parents to children who need it.

While I didn't have any parenting experience, I did live with my sister for 2 years & took care of her son during that time, while he was 2-4 years old. (She just let me do it because I wanted to ) And, I have a degree in psychology, 1/2 Master's degree in early childhood development, & I worked in preschools on & off for about 15 years. I'm not sure how much any of that mattered to the agency, but it has helped me in dealing with my fs.

The training is good from the standpoint that they present you with situations you may face, as well as what the kids may have been through & what their perspective may be. There's not a lot of "how to", but they do bring up issues that, as a birth parent, you wouldn't normally face.

It is a very rewarding, although often frustrating, process & way to become a parent, but I wouldn't trade my little guy for the world. Nothing warms your heart more than knowing you're giving a child a safe, loving place to be.

Good luck to you.