[Sylvester]

My husband and I have completed our licensing to become foster parents. We are now having second thoughts. We have two children in our home, ages 2 and 5. Both are adopted, but were domestic infant placements so working with the state is a new adventure for us. We are worrying about the effects of kids in and out of our home and what it will do to our kids. Does anyone have any personal stories about fostering with young kids already in your home? Does anyone know where I can find literature about the effects of fostering on children already in the home?
By the way we are only interested in foster children ages 2 and under.
Any input would be great!!! We are so wanting to make a change in a child's life, but not at the expense of our kids.

[laughingmama]

Hi, we are foster parents and have two youngish bio children. My 5 and 7 year olds have enjoyed the babies we've gotten but, do resent the amount of time they take up. We foster 2yrs and under and have had 2 babies so far. As a family we have decided that baby M is our last foster child. My children have fallen in love with both of the babies that have been placed with us and they have expressed the desire to "keep" both of them. Like I said they're not crazy about giving up so much mommy time, but they do love those babies. If you are taking 2 and under you will most likely get medically fragile or drug exposed babies and they are not easy! Your 2 year old may have a hard time adjusting to the new little one or may think it's great to be a big sibling. You'll have to take a long hard look at your family and decide how much they can handle. It's definetly a rewarding experience but, it's hard and heart breaking. For our family it's just too much. We hope to adopt our little one and then that's it, we're done. I have realized that I am a terrible foster parent, because I want to keep them all. I will make a much better adoptive parent.
Good luck with your decision!
Nicole

[LisaK]

My husband and I have been foster parents for almost 5 years. When we started our biological son was 20 months old, 2 years later we had another biological son who is now almost three. For us it has been a wonderful experience for our children. They have grown up learning that not everyone is as blessed as they and their friends are. We take infants and some older children. I've learned from experience with my kids that I can take girls their ages or older, but if I take boys their ages or older there is too much competiton for attention.
I would suggest being very careful about the kids you take. You should not have too much trouble with kids under two, however, you might be surprised. Just remember that you have to always do what is best for your kids first. We have had one instance when my 6 year old was two, we took in two older kids that were hitting and picking on him everytime we turned our backs. Because the foster care agency did not handle the situation appropriately, we finally had no choice but to ask to have the kids removed. Emotionally that was very difficult for us, but in the end we knew we had to do what was best for our son.
It may be stressful at first, but I would strongly suggest trying it and seeing if it's right for your family. Just give yourselves some time to adjust before giving up, because it will take awhile for everyone to get used to the change.

Mom to Ray, Jer, Nikki and Marci