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This message was originally posted by eirrac.

I am not sure if fostering is for my life style , I'm 25 I have 4 kids 1 1/2-8 yrs. We just bought a three bedroom home, and as it is my kids all want to sleep together leaving us a bedroom and we could add on and I've wanted to do fostering for about two years now but never felt it was the right time. We went through classes but didn't get licensed.
My husband and I are thinking about divorce and I wonder if this is the time to do it . Two reasons....I really want to and have thought about it for along time, went to a b-day party yesterday for 3 and under and there was this mom there she was my age she clearly liked her toddler son more then her baby girl leaving her to scream for her bottle many times I couldn't stop trying to help her I really wanted to take her home or tell the mom I would babysit for free. Anything to help that poor little baby, the mom openly expressed how irritated she was by this baby all the time. I don't like to see kids treated that way it kills me!!!
Reason 2 if I get divorced I don't want someone else to raise my kids.
what do you guys think with four kids of my own so young am I hangin' my self?

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This message was originally posted by jolean12.

You are the only one that knows what is best for you as far as becoming a foster parent. The only thing is that if you and your husband are talking divorce it will be very hard on your children and you may want to wait a little while.
As far as the lady at the party, you should call and report her to DFACS or speak to her yourself, as this baby is suffering...sounds like abuse to me. You need to do what you know in your heart is the right thing.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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This message was originally posted by Lilli.

Dear Eirrac,

Whether to foster or not is a HUGE decision. I think the decision to foster is not just one persons decision but the whole family's decision. It should be something that both you and your husband agree on. The children also need to be aware of all of the changes that would take place. For example....are they up to sharing their mom and dad with another child??

Like stated in the previous post, only you and your family can decide if it is right for you. I remember when we were trying to make the decision whether or not to become foster parents I had someone ask me.......Will it bother you to have your family and home opened up to many outsiders??? What they meant by this I soon found out. Not only do you open you home up to the children but you have countless people added to the mix.....case managers, bio parents, foster care review boards, therapists, CTA's, pyschologists just to name a few.

I know personally after fostering for over three years I can honestly say it has been the most rewarding thing my family has ever decided to do. Even with all the chaos that it brings to our daily lives.....we wouldn't change it for anything. Every night when I tuck them all into bed.....I thank God for the day He'd given me.

I wish you the best of luck!!

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This message was originally posted by jodyk2.

As the others said, only you and your family can decide what's right for you. But keep in mind that during the home study, they will interview everyone in your household and ask them how they feel about fostering. And, it does put a strain on your lifestyle, so if you're already in a stressful situation, fostering will only add to it. (I'm a single foster mom, so I didn't have to consider anyone else's opinion except mine. Still, I did ask my family to make sure that they would be supportive.)

I guess if I HAD to advise you one way or the other, I'd suggest that you wait until your life is more settled and you're sure it's what you want & that it's right for your family. In the meantime, perhaps you can do respite care.

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This message was originally posted by toyjsu.

When we went through our homestudy, they asked a lot of questions about our personal life and our stability in our marriage. It seems that was important to them. You might want to deal with the marriage first and when that is stable then consider fostering. Just my thoughts! Good luck in your decision.