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This message was originally posted by curiousmom.

My husband and I have been talking about becoming a foster family for a little over a year. We have four biological children: son-12, daughter-11, and twin daughters-5. I was adopted at birth and have always intended either to adopt or be a foster parent. My concerns right now are that I don't think my son could take another female in the house especially since I would request age pre-teen and older. Then of course I have concerns about my 5 year olds not understanding if the foster child does "act out" in anger as a defense. They are very loving and accepting and I would want them to understand and respect the "new brother's' privacy, etc...but how do you explain that to a five year old? My son would love to have a brother and I think it would be good for him as well as the foster child.

So, before I actually call the agency who has been practically begging for people to call and my heart aches when I think about all the children who must be in my area without homes if they are advertising that much. I'd like to get some feedback, advice, thoughts, etc.... Write about anything you'd like to share with me, but I guess my main questions the concerns above as well as explaining what a foster parent is on the different age levels of my children.

Thank you in advance for any feedback.

Have a great day!

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by Mike.

When we started, 16 years ago, our daughters were 4 and 6. We started because there was a 14 year old boy who was facing a lock up facility simply because there was no other place to put him. Having them significantly older was OK. By the time the oldest was 12, we felt that she deserved to have the senior child role. A 14 year old would be developmentally behind her and competition would be intense. When we switched to a younger, long term, expected to and has grown up with us, the feelings changed. Our daughters then thought that this child would be here longer than they. With the others, they were eventually going to leave. It has worked out fine. Our oldest is 21, graduated from college, married, in her own home and expecting a baby. the youngest is 19 and a sophomore commuting to college. She has an adult, 2-room suite in our home. Both still help with the foster children.