[InHisRest]

I am a SB minister and we have experienced several failed adoptions and have had very little positive support. Most people just don't know what to say and the church isn't prepared for such loss. You only get general grief counseling. I want to create some support material for our church and there is very little research on the subject and I figured the best way is to hear it from people such as yourself who may have experienced a failed adoption in any form, please help. Can any of you share any experiences of a failed adoption in any form such as feelings, lack of support, stupid things said, support you wish you had (public or church) etc... in advance

[longingtomeetyou]

Originally Posted by InHisRest

I am a SB minister and we have experienced several failed adoptions and have had very little positive support. Most people just don't know what to say and the church isn't prepared for such loss. You only get general grief counseling. I want to create some support material for our church and there is very little research on the subject and I figured the best way is to hear it from people such as yourself who may have experienced a failed adoption in any form, please help. Can any of you share any experiences of a failed adoption in any form such as feelings, lack of support, stupid things said, support you wish you had (public or church) etc... in advance

stupid things said?

[gantrak]

My wife and I have experienced several failed adoption situations. Its really like a miscarriage. You go through the hope and expectations and then like Emeril says, "BAMM." you hit the wall. Its a real roller coaster ride. My wife and I have been Christians for years and you get to the point of where you just don't want to hear those words, "Well I guess it just wasn't God's will." One other thing we faced was the potential loss of a 3rd of our adoption budget. If we lose that money will we have enough to adopt? You also get to the point too where you are extremely pessimistic for the next one. We found ourselves with a lot of anxiety and we took it out on the social worker. I had to apologize to her. You then have to just give it to God to let him give you that peace. I hope this helps.

George