[Lisa1]

I am writing this to express how brokenhearted I feel right now. My husband and I had wanted to adopt a child. But, we were both divorced twice (before we began to take our faith seriously), my husband if 59 years old and I am 43 years old, and he has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Between his age and his diagnosis, it is very unlikely we will be able to adopt. I am so brokenhearted! Is there anyone else out there who is "disqualified" from adopting? How did you cope with this news? We have had a very stable marriage for 7 years, his bipolar disorder is controlled on medication, and all that other stuff was a long time ago. I am so angry and hurt! You would think that with all the homeless children in orphanages and foster care in this world that someone would give a rehabilitated couple a look at least! Yet God is still on the throne of heaven and of our hearts-we're just hurting.

[CaddoRose]

I have a few questions about your situation, because where I'm at in Texas, age isn't really a consideration particularly since neither of you are very old and the bi-polar shouldn't be an issue either.

Did you get his information from an agency or the state?
Are you looking to adopt a baby or are you interested in fostering to adopt?
Have you talked to more than one person/agency?

With all the kids in the system today, I find it odd that someone would say no to you.

[bprice215]

My sister inlaw is very close to you guys in age, which is the reason she is adopting from India. She will be a teriffic mom that'll raise her daughter to be a very big plus in todays society. She be a leader you can bet. Good luck and best wishes.
bprice215

[Lisa1]

It was an agency-actually, several. We live in New York and already hold a NYS certification for providing care for the elderly. Our state laws prohibit us from being foster/adoptive parents because we can't be dually certified and because of the nature of our work-they can't guarantee the safety of the home because elderly folks are coming in and leaving, so each resident that came would have to have background checks, etc. So we could possibly pursue a domestic adoption IF we can get certified. I haven't gotten all of my questions answered by the local Social Services department, they referred us to private adoption agencies, so I don't know if we could adopt across state lines or not. We did get some good news today, though, that in spite of everything, we might be able to adopt from Viet Nam.

[rebekah.cross]

My husband and I are finalizing the adoption of our infant son, Steven, through Bethany Christian Services. Just like your husband, I too have bipolar disorder. Mine is controlled by medication, and it has been 3 years since my last hospitalization.

In order to adopt, I needed to have a letter from my psychiatrist as well as a psychological evaluation. The court has now requested a post-placement psych eval, so I'm getting that done too.

For domestic adoption, each agency has different guidelines, but I would think that you'd be able to find an agency willing to work with you. At our agency, the birthparents generally pick out the adoptive parents, and your age would be a deterrant to some. However, safe haven babies (dropped off at a safe place within 72 hours), abandoned babies, and babies of birthparents who don't want to be involved in the process all go to agency chosen people, such as you.

What agencies have you researched? Were you just looking at international adoption? Have you considered adopting an older child? Have you looked at adopting through foster care (don't know if the bipolar would disqualify here)?

Our adoption happened very quickly (before we were approved, actually) because we were open to any race. We have a beautiful little black boy and wouldn't trade him for anything. My medical history was part of our file, but 90+% of the time, birthparents don't ask to see the medical files.

You're right--there are so many children needing homes. I'm praying that you will find the right fit for your family and that God will give you peace with His plan for your life.