[mom2GRLC]

I want to know your true feelings regarding the stigma associated with this name....DESTINY

What kind of girl comes to mind?
What race? What size? What pesronality? What color hair, eyes, etc? Do you think it is a respectable name? A grown up name? What category of life life would you see this child in..if you never met her....lower class, middle class or upper class? Would you hire a girl with that name over a girl with a more traditional name?

I have a baby name survey book...that talks about the stigma of names for kids...but I can't find it anymore. I'm not even sure if this name would be in it....it seems kinda like a new name to me.

I definately don't want to hurt anyones feelings....who have this name....I do believe there is more to a paerson than just a name...and the name does not define who the person is or will be. I also know that different people have different views...and if they do mention something that they have seen associated with this name that may not be good...i hope no offnese will be taken.

Thanks for your help!!!

[DisownedRocker]

Originally Posted by jessicagarner

I want to know your true feelings regarding the stigma associated with this name....DESTINY

What kind of girl comes to mind?
What race? What size? What pesronality? What color hair, eyes, etc? Do you think it is a respectable name? A grown up name? What category of life life would you see this child in..if you never met her....lower class, middle class or upper class? Would you hire a girl with that name over a girl with a more traditional name?

All I can say is: pick a name that you know you could love for the rest of your life. I think Destiny is a beautiful name for a girl, to me it symbolizes one who is outgoing and determined. Do you also have a middle name in mind?

[emilyangel]

If I'm honest, it's a little girl's name, and NOT a woman's name. I could not imagine being 40 years old introducing myself as 'Destiny', I'd be embarrassed honestly.

Not that my name is much better. See, my parents thought it would be cute to name me Jenni. Not Jennifer, or Jenna, or any other GROWN UP form of the name, no, just Jenni. Yeah, that gets old quick and is embarrassing...

I also knew someone years ago. Him and his former girlfriend were having a baby. A girl. They were broken up at this point, however both very committed to ths child. She wanted the relationship to continue and told him on several occasions 'it's our destiny to be together'... When the baby was born, she decided that was their destiny and named the child, you guessed it, Destiny. Not a fun story to tell your child..lol

[mom2GRLC]

To be completely honest myself....this is not a name I would choose for my child.

I am adopting my little girl from fostercare. she is now 3 years old. We've had her in our home almost 2 years now. We have been calling her that name since we got her...simply because we have to call the child by their given name. We never liked it to begin with....but we have began like the name...for our little girl.....and the fact that it has become a prat of her...and it was picked out for her by her bmom who she looks just like....but I don't see it as a very good adult name. The word itself is beautiful...but as a name....it brings to my mind....well...not so nice things. (my own personal view on the name is that of an african american....exotic dancer kind of a name. Not a name for my child to grow into. That being said. I worry if she will grow to like the new name we give her...or feel connected to Destiny..and be resentful of us changing it. I know ther are many opinions on the matter. What I'm really interested in is how others view the name from a non...biased opinion. I have appreciated the opinions so far...I hope to get more.

My little girl is White. Blonde hair blue eyes, short. She is very cautious of strangers, very cute around family and very familair people otherwise pretty withdrawn in social situations. She loves to draw and write, is just getting into singing and dancing....but only around family. She has a really beautiful smile....but her shyness gets in the way of showing it to everyone. She is very emotional and very loving. she also has the biggest temper and the strongest willed child I've ever come in contact with.

Does that sound like a Destiny to you? I see Destiny as a very trendy new name. One that makes me think of a social butterfly little girl or teenager/young adult....not as a professionsl business woman....or anything like that.

Again...that does not mean people with her name...are like that...I'm not saying that at all...that's just my thoughts on the name(for my child)...not to offend anyone else.....I seem to be offending so many people today...I'm afraid someone might take this thread wrong and be hurt by it....that truly is not my intention.

[Jensboys]

Jessica ... I think the reality is that Destiny IS your daughter. To take her name and change it now wont change who your daughter is or who she will become. And seriously, if someone doesnt get a job because their name is "Destiny" they probably didnt want to work there anyways.

And as you and I know (with the two most popular names in the universe Jennifer and Jessica), personally I would rather have a different name. But Jen is who I am and Jen is who my mom named me.

"Jen" wishing she could be a Destiny or a Desiree or Alicia

[HappyMomAnna]

I actually do not have any negative feeling about this name.... but, I can see where your concern might come from..... It is a powerful name....

I don't think it is a NEW name---I guess that it might feel normal for me having been born in the 60's and going to school with girls named--Rainbow and Sunshine--Chasitity and Ember.... which were all pretty much normal names when I was a kid....I even knew a girl named Flower.... Not sure what they all did when they grew up as I don't seem to run into these woman anymore????? But, I do have a friend named Wilma and she hates it....

I always wanted to be "Alona" but my daughters father refused to let me name Tori that.....

When Sean and Tori were named I had read a book that said the "most popular" girls had two syllable names that ended with a vowel sound.... Anna--Tina--Lisa--Carry--Mary--DeeDee--so I came up with TORI.

Now it seems like complicated names are all the rage! And names like Mildred--Ida--and Ester are not seen as Grandma names......

I personally Like Destiny.......very very much.

[BethanyB]

I think Destiny is a great name! I know a little black girl who's name is Destiny and my friends niece, who is white, is also named Destiny. Both seem totally natural and seem to fit. I think Destiny is very pretty, and passionate.

I think people have their own personal feelings on names. I, for one, love the name Brenna. My sister hates it because she knew a mean girl named Brenna in high school.

I'm a teacher. I have had bad experiences with kids in the classroom and have names that I would NEVER name my child because certain names remind me of bad behavior. So, to each his own.

Does it sound natural to call her Destiny as you have been doing it for so long?

[DisownedRocker]

I have a friend named Destiny- Red hair green eyes-cute as can be. She goes to a christian private school and will be graduating as the Valedictorian. Her sister's name is Charity, just as smart. Both girls are as sweet as can be, and I doubt ANY of them will grow up to be exotic dancers!! I don't think it is their names that made them who they are, I think it's from their wonderful parents and their own choices in life they made. And I don't think you're being offensive at all, either. If I ever have a little girl, her name will be Geneva Lynn. And anyone who calls her Gen for short will be sorry they ever did!! Just like I don't know why it burns me to hear other people call Zachary Zach for short, for some reason I can't stand it!! Now I'm getting offensive!!

[scarlet52698]

I'm trying to thinkof this name in terms of the banking world Iused to work in......it just doesn't seem to fit for some reason.

I do think it's a beautiful name for a little girl, but I don't see it as a "professional" name. However, names don't limit what someone can do either.

Good luck in your choice.

** Side Note ** I named my daughter Sara after the Fleetwood Mac song that was playing in the office when I got my u/s that showed me she was a girl. I had always loved that name and song. She will most likely hate the fact that I spelled it different though....

[ember246]

Destiny is a beautiful name, but not a professional name. But don't let that stop you from keeping it for her. She will make the name become who she is, the name won't make her.

My name is Bobbie-Jo, not very professional either. I tease my mom that if I ever become a psychiatrist (no plans to ), I will have to change my name to Roberta, it's more sophisticated. But as it is, I am a SAHM, so it fits. Lots of people think I'm from the Southern States, which makes me laugh, 'cause I'm Canadian.

The little boy that we want to adopt has a name I'm not crazy about, but it is already a part of who he is, so we've decided to keep his name as his name. (He's 2 and a half.)

My vote - keep "Destiny". You can tell her that it was your destiny to be together!

But in the end, do what you feel is right for your daughter.

[mom2GRLC]

I have a sister named Jennifer and I'm Jessica...so i guess my mom really liked the most popular names.

Like I said when we first got her...I really did not like the name. She has been the hardest child to raise I have ever come in contact with (maybe it's just our personalities are to much alike..I don't know). But when I do think about the name Destiny(I feel tired..overwhelmed). She used to throw so many tempers and screaming crying fits) mostly associtated with Teething and terrible ear infections that wouldn't go away. She is also very strong willed and emotional. I also am constanly reminded of her birthmother.

I also think of the beautiful happy little girl she has finally become. She still has her moments but nothing like she used to. In a way.. it would feel wrong for me to not have that as part of her name(unfortunatley it doesn't sound good as a middle name), because she is finally getting a sense of self..and identity and that is her identity right now. It's also a special part of her past...and birthmom...who named her and who she looks exactly like.

But as for me....I never pictured myself having a daughter named Destiny. Or rather watching a Destiny grow up and become a young woman. I don't know any Destiny's that are all grown up just little girls. Actually I was changing the chanel on my TV when I passed Jerry Springer(which I don't ever watch) but i heard him say...my first guest Destiny...blah blah blah. So I looked up and say a white young adult with blonde hair and blue eyes(like my little girl) my first response was...why would your parent name you Destiny....It just didn't seem to fit. It dodn't seem to me like a name a child could mautre with), I was actually suprised by my own reaction to that name...on a girl that looked like a grown up version of my daughter.

It would be nice to give her a new name...something special for her new place in our family....one not associated with all the pain/heartche/ and troubles of the past. Something that gives her a new begining and new sense of self.

Of course I do worry...if she will except the name...or will grow to be angry with me for changing her name. I also wonder if it would hurt her birthmoms feeling if I were to change it. but I'm learning to accept the fact that I can't live my life around trying to make her happy or take away her pain(nothing she has said..just my own feelings...of guilt/confusion/compassion).

When I finally figure out what name she will have I want it to be special..one that we will feel right..and hopefully she will grow to love and feel is right for her also.

Right now the only names i can get her to agree on(for a short time) is Suzanne(after my mother who passed away...who she reminds me a lot of ) she pronounces it Sue-anne....I can't get her to make the Z noise in the middle. Courtney and Emma. All the other names we ask if she likes and she says no..no...no..no. She also says she likes the name Courtney Suzanne. I really like the name Emma....but that isn't one that she likes for too long.

Today....whenever i call her Destiny it just feels wrong. Like the name doesn't match the face of MY SOON TO BE DAUGHTER.

Our (default) name...if we can't come up with any others will be Destiny Suzanne....but we won't call her Destiny we would call her...Suzanne or Suzie.

I just don't like that idea..because we did that with our son...putting his birth name as the frist name and intending to call him by his middle name but we just haven't made the switch yet. I'm afraid if we don't change her name completely...then we will do the same..and still conitue to call her Destiny verses a name we really wanted for her. It's also hard because both of our kids are in school and I think it would be to difficult to change their name in the middle of school when everyone is already used to calling them that first name..and that is what is on all their school supplies and stuff.

[Shoshana]

Our feelings about the name Destiny are really not important. The name isn't horrible - there are many worse ones people are chosing for their children. The little girl vs. adult woman name really isn't that important either because people can choose different names as teens or adults or even chose to use their middle name.

I think the real issue is your strong aversion to your daughter's name. I don't think you mentioned her middle name. Given your feelings, I think the best solution would be to use her middle name. You didn't mention your daughter's age but she's obviously old enough to know her name, and to have opinions of others. She IS Destiny. Perhaps the next best solution would be to change her middle name to Suzanne (assuming you have strong feelings against her given middle name). Destiny Suzanne can become D. Suzanne. I know plenty of adults who use their middle name and first initial. Actually, my name is Elizabeth Ann my entire childhood and adolescence I was Ann until I insisted on Elizabeth.

If you use D. Suzanne, you are not erasing a part of her identity. You are not communicating as loudly that you are rejecting a part of her identity. You are keeping her first name, and allowing her the choice of reclaiming it as an adult. You are also communicating respect for her roots. I think this solution would be much more palatable to everyone involved than a complete name change. The interpretations of a complete name change might make many people uncomfortable but it seems you are poised to do something because of your own discomfort.

It may not be the solution that YOU would choose, but I think it is a reasonable solution for your daughter.

[mom2GRLC]

Thanks for your advice...all your comments are definately things i've been thinking about. I've also thought of using Dee as a middle name...but that also does not flow like I would like it to.

Her birth name is Destiny Alexandria. It does flow nicely with her birth last name, but not to well with my last name. I do like Destiny Suzanne Garner because it still has her name...as well as a part of our family in it.

I don't have anything against her middle name...it's just that she doesn't really have any attatchment to it either. Actually when I say Alexandria...even as part of her name she says..."no...I don't like it...that's not my name".

My little girl just turned 3. She would easily adjust to a name change. Infact...for the last couple months she has been saying..."i'm not Destiny I'm mommy" when I call her she says the same thing...."I'm not Destiny ...I'm mommy" "I don't want to be Destiny..I want to be mommy". I know that is different because she is wanting to role play....but that is kinda why I figure it would be easy to switch her name.

Does anyone else have any ideas of first names that would flow with destiny as a middle name?

It was important to me to get other people's opion on the name Destiny....that's why I asked. I wanted to know if others felt the same way I did...or if others saw it as a really beautiful name.It sounds like it goes both ways....but all seem to agree that although it dosen't sound like grown-up/professional name...she would make the name fit her...and it would be right.

These are some other names I like Morgan, Megan, Alison, Rylee,Brooke, Kathryne, Suzanne, Courtney, Emma,Rebecca(Becky), can't remember the others???

Also I've found that if I change the spelling of Destiny to Destinee it looks like it flows better as a middle name. What do you think?

If I can't figure it out...than we will just keep it Destiny Suzanne....because that is one we have agrred on until now...and she also likes it.

[DisownedRocker]

Honestly, I think Destiny Lynn is a pretty name, or something simple like Renee or Marie.

[dpen6]

Destiny is who she is.....

I was adopted at 21/2 my name was Donna (so ok it was the 50's)and my parents kept that name. Not because they liked it but because I was quite old enough to know my own name and answered to it. It was who I was! They respected that and I appreciate that they did. It confirmed that I was important and how difficult it would be FOR ME to just change it. They did change my middle name to patricia(myamoms name) and I had no problem with that...if fact I kinda liked it.

Another thing is as far as what happens when they grow up...when I had my children I named them names that I liked one being cory for my son...My aunt told me she liked the name for a little boy but not for an adult. My answer to that was every generation has there names that are normal for them. 100 years ago it was beatrice, gertrude, agnes, ect. 50 years ago it was the dianes, debbies, Donna, Linda, ect.....we all grew up to be comfortable with our names.