We are adopting through an agency that puts their infants in foster care until the revocation period is over - 25 days. The birthmother or the foster parents usually name the infant. What do you think about changing the name of the infant?

This agency has a little girl that was born the end of September and has not yet been adopted - the birthmother hasn't chosen a family yet and they can't find the birthfather to terminate rights. They are hoping she can be adopted in February. We were asked if we would like our profile to be shown to the birthmother. We said yes. The foster parents named her Baby Alissa.

I'm not real fond of that name since my name is Lisa. I thought of making it slightly different like Marissa - but my husband doesn't like that. Any suggestions? Would it be alright to change it completely? Or is their something similar? The girls names that we had picked out were NovaLee Noel or Savannah Rose. Keep in mind our last name starts with a G.

Thanks for your help!

[alicia hunter]

It would be no problem. Some people choose to change the names of kids much older than this. Kids who are even preschool age can adjust pretty quickly usually. I would assume that most adoptive parents in your situation would change the name. It is your way of making your child your own.

[tarynbrook]

I think it is your choice as parents to name her, or to keep her name. It sounds like you have thought about what is best for her and for your family, and because your names would be so similar I'd change it too. Just make sure you keep the story of her name and what her foster family called her as part of her history. I think Savannah Rose is beautiful, and I sure hope everything works out so that you can bring this baby home!
Best Wishes, Taryn

[DragonChild]

I think it would be fine to rename her. But maybe make her middle name the name her birthmother chose. Good luck!

[trynitey]

I think that if the birthmother is giving up her rights as a mother in the begin with then she shouldnt have the right to name it either. I believe that the people that will be caring for this child as their own should be able to name it whatever they want to.

Go ahead and change the baby's name once you receive it. It probably wont know its name until it gets a little older anyways. Don't even feel like you are obligated to keep the name similar to what the birthmother named it. You and your husband sit down and find a name that you both love... If you have a picture of her, that would help to determine a name as well.

[spaypets]

My daughter was 18 months old when she came home and we changed her name. She learned it almost instantly. We had told the orphanage what we were naming her, but I don't know if they ever used her new name -- even so, she would have been 1 year old when they started using it.

[spankndarla]

please help us. my husband and i are adopting an eleven year old girl named Ariel. she wants us to give her a new middle name along with her new last name. she wants us to decide and surprise her with it on her new birth certificate. can anyone help us in our search?
just to let everyone know a little about her, this may help in finding a name that suits, she has red hair, is very bold, strong willed, mature, bubbley, happy, thankful, and a survivor.
she made it thru being tourchered by her mother who was diagnosed with munchausing bi proxy syndrome. her biological mom had made Ariel sick to gane medical attention or sympothy.
she survived chemical burns, poisoning with hand cleaner and insecticied, physical and sexual abuse, her mom would make her eat till she would throw up and then would take her to get treatment, mom would starve her and tell doctors that she would not eat, Ariel was locked in her room for weeks at a time with a handicap potty chair(that she had to empty out the window herself), and so much more.
any way, she doesn't want to keep the name that her biological mother gave her. she wants to make a completely new start.
SO WILL YOU HELP US?

[brandydawn]

I am on the baby name site quite often.....Ariel means Lioness of God (I thought this was cool).

How about Ariel Riley (Riley is Irish for brave).

Regards,
Brandy

[spankndarla]

i love all the suggestions for Ariel's middle name, i really like Riley. you all are giving me such wonderful ideas. thanks! keep them comming!!!!!!!

[brandydawn]

Keep us posted on which name you end up with, would also like to know how Ariel reacts to her new name.

Regards,
Brandy

[spankndarla]

I believe I am going to make a list of names that my husband and I like, run them by Ariel, and have our families to vote. I think it would be fun. I don't have to pick the winner, but I'll get an idea of what everyone likes. So, keep the names comming. We still like Ariel Riley. Our last name begins with an S. We couldn't give her a middle name that started with an S. We are also open to making Ariel the middle name and comming up with a first name.

Any suggestions? Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Fatcat]

I looked on a baby name site and found 2 names that I thought were good - Briana which means strong/fearless and Victoria which means conquering.

Let us know what you decide and how she likes it, if you don't mind.

[spankndarla]

hi, i like your suggetions as well. i have shown them all to Ariel and she loves all the names we have gotten from this site.
again thanks! we still haven't decided anything for certain.

we would like to veiw all possibilities.
thankyou.

[aparent]

I just adopted my daughter (in China -- PRC) at 10.5 months old. I've been on several lists relating to Chinese adoptions. Most parents nowadays choose to make the social welfare institute (SWI) name (first, middle) as their middle name.

I wasn't on any forums at the time (prior to changing my daughter's name) and the naming issue never came up during the adoption process. A couple of people I know from the Chinese community sort of laughed when they read my daughter's name (in Chinese characters).

That hurt -- suppose to be one of the greatest moments of my life and these people are laughing at the name! I asked what's so funny. They said it was a boy's name. They insisted that I change it.

Well, I had to decide pretty quickly. In one of our adoption packets had a list of beautiful sounding Chinese names. I tried different names with the two people. We finally decided to give her a beautiful "American" name and Chinese name to reflect her heritage.

Now I find out this is the worst mistake any international adoptive parent could make!

But I disagreed on this subject! Read on to see why.

The SWI director most of the time chooses the name. How does the SWI director's right to choose my daughter's name supercede my choice to name her? Naming her gave me a sense of connection. I will tell her she had a SWI name but this is my name for her. And that means we are connected in that way.

The director isn't staying up late into the night consoling her when she has nightmares or teething. The director didn't rush her to the ER when she was very ill. The director didn't console and took care of her the way my husband and I did. The director didn't parent my daughter. I did. In my opinion, as a parent, I should at least have this right.

Thank you, Riam