[mamae]

Hi,

Although husband and I can have kids, we decided we would like to adopt 2 older girls (2 up to 10yo).

We fear going to foster care system because we have heard a lot about the issues that kids who go through foster care have... We thought that probably an open adoption where the child was never placed in foster care would be less hurtful for the child, and easer on everyone involved.

My question is: is there any agency specific for this situation (I really don't want a baby... I wanted a child older than 2 or 3, and up to 10yo)?

Every agency I look for in my area offers either foster care or baby domestic adoption....

Also, do you have any idea how much this kind of agency would cost? We are both professionals (he is a middle school teacher and I am a pediatric physical therapist), but I would not like to pay a fortune in an adoption process. Of course my future kids are worth anything but when I see agencies charging 10.000, 20.000 etc, I feel like they are selling me a child... don't know... I know it is not buying, but when I think of it, It feels like... I'd rather put this money through college fund....

If anyone has a place to indicate, and informations, I would dearly appreciate!!!

thanks!!!

[aclee]

I'll PM you the referral we go through, she does some older child placements, and if you contact her she should have more info on places you can look. Best of Luck!

[Hadley2]

Your post is old, sorry this is a belated reply. I think you have it backwards--it is not foster care experience that is bad for the children and causes issues, it is the reasons that led to foster care. Children in the system who are adoptable have more than likely had at least some time in a loving, functional home and the advantages of therapeutic services and medical care for the issues that led to placement. Those who are not, wouldn't have those advantages. If you truly want an older child, I think you should take another look at fost-adopt, and research the facts, not unfounded myths about foster care. I am a foster mom for a relative, but have gotten to "know" many fmoms through these boards. It is a miraculous thing, IMO, that so many people do so much for these kids for nothing in return.