[aMarylandfamily]

I'm not sure if it is true in all states, but Maryland no longer accepts voluntary placement in foster or respite care for children when a family is in crisis ... they are forced to keep the child at home even if they are unable to care for him/her or "place" their child with social services, charged legally with neglect or abandonment depending on the circumstances and the child is processed for Permanency Placement ... often referred to as adoption ... with family reunification in between. Having experienced the need for services and narrowly avoiding legal charges, I can only state the unfairness of this ... Social Services should be there to help not to put a family further into crisis ... this may be where "placing" a child is coming from ....

Just another insight - hope it helps clear some things up.

[lucyjoy]

There need to be some major changes in the laws to allow families to get the services they need. Having lived with a dangerous child, I know that sometimes removal is(life and death) necessaryand many states do not give parents options leaving them to be forced to find other adotive homes or face ciminal charges. I got lucky. Our state allowed my son o go into care for 17 months in a restrictive RTC. I thought it was forever and he'd never come home. The RTC tried to force us to give up custody for him to go to independant living at 14, but the state said I didn't have to. My son is home and doing well after 17 months. Had I lived in another state, I would have been forced to give up custody and be charged with child abandonment and my son would have lost his family.

Many families facing this situation opt to find other placements for their older children.

[jlee71803]

This is so sad for the family a child /children people always want to know why children have problems like rad , this is why no stable home ... we all need to think about what this does for our children.

[roxanna425]

the first option for pemanency placement is usually reunification, not adoption. without a permanecy plan (ie mental health, chemical dependency treatment, parenting classes) services cannot be offered and paid for by the state. I have been a sw for a few years now and I haven't seen a permanency plan for a child from DCFS that did not list reunification as option A unless a child's sibling had died in the care of the parent or the parent had left the state or been incarcerated. that is why birth parents get so many services and are given so many chances. DCFS is not a crisis shelter. in order to make sure that a parent is in a serious enough situation that they are willing to be charged with abandonment (the judge can see that the parent is there with a lawyer explaining their circumstances or that they are in an inpatient asylum) otherwise there's Childhaven and such for parents in crisis. There's not enough state money to do all things for all people.

[notjustanykatie]

We don't get to be parents when we want too..and send our kids away and then get them back when we feel like it. It still isn't a reason for neglect/abuse.

[Rifilanna]

I don't think this is about when we "want" to parent. Famalies face very real crisies about safty to all especially with children with mental health issues. I lived with a violent child, she was placed in a private institution from time to time, but the state was no help at all...even when the police were called. Parenting classes (I wasn't her legal parent so I wasn't involved) for her legal parents did not change her mental health issues. No one parenting were drug users or criminals. She had to wait to be 18 to receive needed services. She is now on full disablity. It is an idiotic system.

I have a friend with a violent mentally disabled teenager, and there is no respite care available, none, in our state. She has to be in danger in order to parent. There is state money for a lot of odd things there isn't a priorty for the care of mentally ill children and famalies in crisis. I know how to physically restrain children becuase the system failed a vulerable family. Neither of these children are/were neglected or abused in both cases adults have been hurt.... and we chose to care for these children is that good enough for the Social workers? Help in the form of respite care, accesbile mental health services for children, training in special needs issues (not just restraint) would all have been useful.

Do I think the state has a responsablity to children and famalies..yes, if they take my tax money.

[Lorraine123]

We don't get to be parents when we want too..and send our kids away and then get them back when we feel like it.

This is not about being parents when we want to be. Its about getting the necessary help for our children, while keeping ourselves safe. Parents don't relinquish custody of their children just because they are tired of parenting. They relinquish because they have no other choice. As a parent its very expensive to pay for an RTC for a violent child. However, if that same child were in state custody, they would get treatment right away. So, should we as parents deny our children the opportunity for treatment? And does the state have the right to stand in our way?

[carlismycoolcat]

Unfortunately the state and gov gives DSS/DFCS/CPS too much power. It's one thing to "save" a child from abuse. But to snatch the child away and put it into foster care because the parents refuse "services" that CPS THINKS they need .(parenting class when it was never needed,etc.. drug tests when they never do drugs,etc.)
All because someone who know very little about them has different views on raising a child and thinks they do not deserve that child,they go and make up some allegation that might have something to with something that actually happened (or may have never happened) that makes it look like they are abusive.
The CPS/social worker comes into the home asking many invasive questions. THEY (or their supervisor) determines whether the child is "at risk" based on speaknig with the parents and how the home looks as well as the allegation. If the social worker feels mom is mentally ill just because she makes the mistake of rambling on& on about about how she would never hurt a child(trying to prove her innocence) ,and it is full grown people who make her upset (adults are not loving innocent people unlike innocent children who just don't know any better) the social may think ok she might have a mental issue,lets take away the kids and make her take parenting class and get a mental health evaluation. 6months later because they cannot afford to pay for these services without saving up for them first, (and because these services are often very booked ) they finally get the kids back. One or all the kids may be behind in school from the trauma of being removed and have other emotional problems. Mom and dad may never trust anyone(not even friends or family) and the system for failing them. After all is said and done they PASS the evaluations and tests,etc.. (and still with no proof from the allegations ever given or a chance to prove their innocence) instead of clearing the parents name,they are in some gov file at the dfcs office, with the closed case paper work stating " Abuse Risk lowered enough for children to be returned home"
And how is that parent ever going to become a foster mother herself? What if she wants to run a daycare? She has this File on her that my prevent these things because of an investigation that turned into a case from a case worker investigator who thought there was a risk,when there never was,all because a phone call by some one who they will never reveal the name,someone who gave that family hell for half a year by what they did.
Some parents who are innocent and done nothing wrong will fight CPS and go to court,spending tens of thousands, or even as high as hundreds of thousands of dollars just to clear there name ,because they afford it and chose not be subjected to taking these evaluations and 'service" as being treated like criminals and some still lose their kids due to getting their perental rights removed for simply "not cooperating"
It is their RIGHT to fight in court and not cooperate if they are innocent and want to prove themselves through the COURTS and NOT through DFCS's ways of doing things,yet the gov gives DFCS so much power that unless you have enough money, you may never win against them no matter how innocent you are. Just because CPS works with law enforcement doesn't make them the law,unfortunately it does ,they need to be stopped or at least reformed. Too many peopel refuse to acknowledge this , and others are to afraid to speak out,in fear of retaliation.
So with that said, I feel terribly sorry for all those children who get adopted to parents who think they are saving them from homes that are not as nice as their own. Society is brainwashed to think CPS are heros and all the kids come from broken/unstable families.
I am especially saddend to know that you can lose your child simply because you don't have a physical address (even if your living in a hotel or with friends until you can get back on your feet) ,or to know that they take newborns from parents who have previously had kids taken way ONLY based on history. There are NEWS storys on these ,and I can provide links to anyone who is interested. Adoptive parents and foster parents are not immune either. It is a corrupt system,it is all about who you know, and how much $ you have. If your lawyer is friends with the dfcs lawyer don't count on him helping you either, he will only take your money.
*EDITED TO FIX TYPOS*

[CRAZY_WOMAN]

I never new this was even an options in the first place.But I guess a lot of services will go away,Since our countries in dept anyways.I defently hope nobody in my family would do this,When they have family to help them out.

[CRAZY_WOMAN]

Originally Posted by carlismycoolcat

Unfortunately the state and gov gives DSS/DFCS/CPS too much power. It's one thing to "save" a child from abuse. But to snatch the child away and put it into foster care because the parents refuse "services" that CPS THINKS they need .(parenting class when it was never needed,etc.. drug tests when they never do drugs,etc.)
All because someone who know very little about them has different views on raising a child and thinks they do not deserve that child,they go and make up some allegation that might have something to with something that actually happened (or may have never happened) that makes it look like they are abusive.
The CPS/social worker comes into the home asking many invasive questions. THEY (or their supervisor) determines whether the child is "at risk" based on speaknig with the parents and how the home looks as well as the allegation. If the social worker feels mom is mentally ill just because she makes the mistake of rambling on& on about about how she would never hurt a child(trying to prove her innocence) ,and it is full grown people who make her upset (adults are not loving innocent people unlike innocent children who just don't know any better) the social may think ok she might have a mental issue,lets take away the kids and make her take parenting class and get a mental health evaluation. 6months later because they cannot afford to pay for these services without saving up for them first, (and because these services are often very booked ) they finally get the kids back. One or all the kids may be behind in school from the trauma of being removed and have other emotional problems. Mom and dad may never trust anyone(not even friends or family) and the system for failing them. After all is said and done they PASS the evaluations and tests,etc.. (and still with no proof from the allegations ever given or a chance to prove their innocence) instead of clearing the parents name,they are in some gov file at the dfcs office, with the closed case paper work stating " Abuse Risk lowered enough for children to be returned home"
And how is that parent ever going to become a foster mother herself? What if she wants to run a daycare? She has this File on her that my prevent these things because of an investigation that turned into a case from a case worker investigator who thought there was a risk,when there never was,all because a phone call by some one who they will never reveal the name,someone who gave that family hell for half a year by what they did.
Some parents who are innocent and done nothing wrong will fight CPS and go to court,spending tens of thousands, or even as high as hundreds of thousands of dollars just to clear there name ,because they afford it and chose not be subjected to taking these evaluations and 'service" as being treated like criminals and some still lose their kids due to getting their perental rights removed for simply "not cooperating"
It is their RIGHT to fight in court and not cooperate if they are innocent and want to prove themselves through the COURTS and NOT through DFCS's ways of doing things,yet the gov gives DFCS so much power that unless you have enough money, you may never win against them no matter how innocent you are. Just because CPS works with law enforcement doesn't make them the law,unfortunately it does ,they need to be stopped or at least reformed. Too many peopel refuse to acknowledge this , and others are to afraid to speak out,in fear of retaliation.
So with that said, I feel terribly sorry for all those children who get adopted to parents who think they are saving them from homes that are not as nice as their own. Society is brainwashed to think CPS are heros and all the kids come from broken/unstable families.
I am especially saddend to know that you can lose your child simply because you don't have a physical address (even if your living in a hotel or with friends until you can get back on your feet) ,or to know that they take newborns from parents who have previously had kids taken way ONLY based on history. There are NEWS storys on these ,and I can provide links to anyone who is interested. Adoptive parents and foster parents are not immune either. It is a corrupt system,it is all about who you know, and how much $ you have. If your lawyer is friends with the dfcs lawyer don't count on him helping you either, he will only take your money.
*EDITED TO FIX TYPOS*

Where I live a child doesn't get took away even if abuse is founded over and over.Also I think if the family has a history with CPS they should diffently be checked out befor they take their babies home from the hospital.

[carlismycoolcat]

So if my family has a history simply because of a false allegation , they won't know it ,because it is never founded, or unfounded . and my name remains in their system (I don't even know how long a parent's name is kept in dfcs files). So if I gave birth to another baby they should just take it away because of a past allegation they don't even know is true,because I was never allowed the chance to prove them wrong,and they never proved me wrong....that is unfair and SO unjust .
To say to have them be "checked out" ..Anybody they "check out" with any kind of history,they will create any excuse to validate themselves, (even history being their validation) to take that baby and put it up for adoption.
Also, I wrote my post before I found this thread right here on this forum:
(gotta go get it and come back to edit in order to put the link here...)

[CRAZY_WOMAN]

If the allegation are found false it will be in the record down here.I would have a problem knowing a child leave a hospital when there a history of abuse or neglect and I think it should be checked out before the baby leaves with the family.

[eunicedavis32]

yes cps is horrible.i was in foster care and because of how bad i treated them they didnt like me.they put me on medications and put me in psych wards.i got pregnant at age 17 in foster care.no one wanted me only nmy baby.so she got taken 4rm da hospital.i fought to get her back for a whole year because that was the right thing to do sine no one came for my brothers and i.i got rape aat age 18 had a boy.happiest day of my life.i could raise a baby now cause im out of foster care.but i still had an open case for my other child.no drugs ,no abuse,no neglect.my son went to foster care for a month ,now he';s with my godmom until i can get myself together.she's going to adopt him.i really love my kids.cps wants me 2 b miserable because i made them miserable. do wat's right for your kids............