[katy41]

i've 2 boys 8 and 12 ,been with me 4.5 yrs who have very odd behaviour;....rolling round in inappropriate places ,stareing,avoid eye contact(8yr old says it stings when he looks in peoples eyes),play with thier hands when sat among toys........8 yr old told school his favourite thing to do was play with his hands,walk through people.when not actively engaged ;8yr old spends a lot of time gurning ,and 12 yr old makes repetative noises,hides under his coatand gently head bangs.they both find supermarkets ,change in rouitine,class assembly,family gatherings very difficult and the 12yr old went completly dolally when they tried to send him to mainstream secondary with support(tried to climb out of 2nd floor window ran into a car hitting out at every one jumping about on furniture etc)the other children were all scared off him.
they do show most of the signs of attachment disorder as well but i'm concerned that the professionals arent listening to me and have only seen the 12 yr old a handful of times and the 8 yr old 1x.i feel they have been written off as just poor start to life ,but thier behaviour is such that they are both at special schools dispite normal intelligence.
friends with children with both asd and adhd have presumed the boys have the same problems and been shocked that they still have no diagnosis.
if i'm right and it's not just attachment issues,will lack of input now make a difference to thier adult life?

[momraine]

I would keep trying, try different professionals until you get more answers. It could very well be both problems. The schools were not helpful to me at all in getting my son's aspergers diagnosis. We had to pay for an evaluation by an outside psychologist before we got anywhere.

[katy41]

once you had a diagnosis,did it change school's attitude or how you were advised to help him.at 15,does your son mind having a 'label' ordoes he find it beneficial and make it easier to access support.

[rosed6914]

Hi:

I, too, have an adopted son with Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD. Asperger's was diagnosed when he was three and I realized that football was not physically possible for him.

We were very lucky because I had him evaluated at the Dan Marino center, specially for ASD. The school had no choice but to accept the diagnosis. Middle school, age 12 and 13 were horrible for him. Shopping, his sister's high school band concerts, any loud noises--forget it.

In eighth grade he began a center for children with special needs. His father and I explained that this was a trial and if this did not work we would try something else for him.

Long story short--my son is 18 graduating on June 4, 2009 with a regular diploma from his center school as well as a technical center with a culinary arts certification.

He drives, has a part time job, and has just enrolled himself at one of our local colleges.

Hang in there--teen age years are really, really difficult for children with ASD. I am a teacher in a middle school and see it everyday.

[rosed6914]

Originally Posted by katy41

once you had a diagnosis,did it change school's attitude or how you were advised to help him.at 15,does your son mind having a 'label' ordoes he find it beneficial and make it easier to access support.

The school must do whatever it takes to help your sons be successful--this is covered by the IDEA act.

Feel free to email me here if I can help you with anything.

[katy41]

i guess it's just having the confidence to keep pushing and not just accepting the experts know more than me....it's a shame that as parents we have to spend so much time educating ourselves so we can advocate for our children instead of it all being automatic.

[katy41]

with having younger ones,it's lovely hearing other peoples successes.........sometimes ,after a bad day...it can all feel a bit pointless,it makes such a difference to think that they may learn coping mechanisms and fit more comfortably into society as adults.