[kidsrcoming]

One form of Austim Spectrum that is rarely addressed is Asperger's Syndrome. This form of very high functioning child sometimes isn't properly diagnosed until the child is about to enter jr. high age.

Our bio son who has always had straight A's, could talk at 6 months of age still has problems. He is very focused on certain subjects, is the most honest/caring person you will find, can recite verabatum poetry, scenes from movies, can do mathematical problems without blinking an eye, and remember and tell you historical facts and information beyond his age. But, on the flip side, he doesn't make friends easily (they think he's an "alien" as he calls it), he doesn't show emotions readily, likes to be alone most of the time (unless he finds an audience for his facts of the day/century-which can take hours to listen to) and most of all VERY literal (No grey areas, and slang terms will not compute).

Schools have a hard time believing someone "so smart/gifted", has a PDD, so you have to fight, find a great physcologist/therapist (sometimes combination), to help with taking your concerns to the school board. These children cannot take a test in 30 mins., they want to be correct so badly that half of the test will be blank (resulting in 1/2 being "wrong"), causing extra grief and anxiety on the student. We finally found the right team, and just like magic given 1-2 hours for a test and he's straight A's.

Don't give up keep up the fight for your children!!!!

[BrandyHagz]

My bio son has a PDD, and your right; the school system is a constant battle…one I am currently fighting in fact.

If it isn’t the insurance company, it’s the school system and/or classroom teacher.

I am currently searching for an Autism Advocate who can help me with the fight I am currently battling, one where the teacher just cant believe it, so wont agree to services…(I am still waiting for a copy of her medical degree…)

No child left behind…pffft.

[kidsrcoming]

Teachers are the hardest to convince, even with a diagnosis. My son had one teacher who said he was "retarded", because he wouldn't answer her when she spoke to him. I had one teacher who said he couldn't read (2nd grade), I told her he read better than she could, which she didn't like (I took him, the teacher, the principal, myself and a novel into the principal's office and he read a whole page out loud within 5 mins.) needless to say, the principal scolded her and she sent me a written apology.

You are going to find teachers that love your child so much that they wish they had more of him/her in the class, on the other side of the coin you will find teachers that hate that they have to give "special" treatment to the "smartest" kid in the class. It's been a roller coaster, but with the right pschologists and therapists (sometimes attorneys) on your side the schools are now hiring and educating teachers to embrace these children, not make them feel so alienated and persecuted.

[FostermomCathie]

I have an 8yr old girl foster child with aspergers. I am finally after 6 months getting to where I can sense when something unappropriate is going to come out of her mouth in public but yikes!!! She is such a joy but she can be so frustrating also. I finally gave up on trying to get her to tie her own shoestrings and bought the curly kind so she can get them on herself, I think we will try again later, in the mean time she is busy memorizing 12th grade history material. She is a genius and a 2 yr old all in the same body.
Is this social bluntness problem correctable? I cant hardly stand to watch the reaction of another old lady being asked when she is going to die......or fear for our lives when she asks a black person "when are they going back to Africa"?
foster mom Cathie

[kidsrcoming]

Your daughter cannot be "fixed", but she can be coached. My 15 year old son (diagnosed at 11), needs a lot of coaching, but with patience he's learned to whisper what he's about to say to me first, then I proceed to tell him if it will or will not hurt someone's feelings. I still remember when he was about 5 years old telling an extremely overweight person that she needed to excersise or her arteries would clog and that she would have a massive heart attack at anytime, he then proceeded to do jumping jacks and wanted her to start participating right then and now. He has the IQ of a 59+ year old man, but emotionally he'll probably never get to more than 12 or 13 years old ever. He get's straight A's and he's the most loving honest person I have ever met, and I like it that way. He is a target at school for ridicule by the 'normal' kids, but he is learning to tell someone when he is uncomfortable (that's another thing you need to stress with her). Be patient and love her for who she is, a bright, loving, caring, contiencous and honest as the day is long "Little Professor".

[FostermomCathie]

I laughed when I read your story, that definately could have been her saying and doing that.
Thanks for your advise on the whispering, we have been practicing today and I think this could work. I dont want to make her scared to speak up but I really do need a tool to help both of us.
We have been working for several months to get her to realize she will survive the little things, for example she hasnt broken a leg when she trips and she will be okay. I am still having a hard time getting her past having her feelings hurt, it can drag out several days where she will continue to bring something up and the emotional pain is still there. It will be something as small as another girl getting a piece of gum in class as a reward and she didnt get one.
I am so scared what is going to happen to her when she leaves our home, there isnt any family wanting to take it on, she has two older sisters with us as well.
But I have to admit I am so far thinking that she might be to much for us to consider adoption as well. She has made great progress in the last few months with us though, it would be really interesting to find out how far she could go. What kind of testing is done to find out how mentally mature they might reach?

Also she came to us at 8yrs old and 150lbs, so far she has lost 30lbs and is becoming more active. Is weight usually an issue with aspergers?
Hope you dont mind all the questions, I havent run into anyone with this situation before now.
Cathie

[kidsrcoming]

Weight is one of the problems because they are sooooo affraid of getting hurt while participating in a "sport/excercise", believe me if anyone ever was hurt doing whatever it is, they know about it. My son enjoys walking (have to remind him to point his feet inward), he enjoys nature trails, the zoo, and fishing. Don't try to put her into "team" activities, she'll get too frustrated. Once she is shown the benefits of some kind of movement, she'll do it, just because it's good for her, and make sure you show her the documentation of health benefits (they need the proof first). As far as adoption goes, of all the teenage problems that "normal" children have, she'll be a piece of cake, start her now on hygiene lessons, and get her IEP set up for academic achievement and you are on your way. Once she decides on her own to trust and love you, you will have a best friend for life. Take her to a child psychologist and therapist, they will do all of the necessary testing as far as IQ and EQ, so you will be prepared to be her voice at school. Don't worry, I look at it this way, to have someone love me truely (they do not know any different than yes or no), is the most blessed love I will ever know in my life, you will soon agree.

Tina

[FostermomCathie]

Hygiene is a big issue, she isnt cleaning in the bathroom and I think a lot of it is that she is a very large girl and cant reach. I am only getting her in the bath every other day because its a pretty big project. I am wanting to talk to an orthodontist but I dont know if I can find one to take medicade. I know she is real young yet and cant get that hand motion down well enough to really do a good job at brushing. But her teeth are almost vertical in the front and it would be such a huge change to get that corrected. Like you said though, she isnt going to deal with any pain very well.
I love what you said about "love for life". There is something so special about that total honesty and true love. You sound so well adjusted with your son, he is so lucky to have you.
Cathie

[kidsrcoming]

Orthodontist problems, well we started braces for my son 3 weeks ago, and I tell you it's just now ending with the complaining (ha,ha), once I had the Ortho explain (in detail) why he needed to have his bite and teeth aligned he stopped complaining. Our other son that we are adopting needs braces badly, I have to jump through hoops to get the State to cover the balance that our private insurance will not cover. Do your homework, document everything, and submit letters from the pediatric dentist and orthodontist explaining the need for her teeth. Also, contact her guardian ad lidem (attorney), caseworker and adoption worker, get everyone on the same page first, sometimes they need to be the additional voices of reason to medicaide. As far as brushing and bathing goes, get a timer and set it and tell her that when the timer goes off she can get out of the tub, finish brushing, etc. Use a step stool in front of the sink, and let her use warm water to brush with, extreme temps will discourage hygiene. Small modifications for big rewards!!!!

Tina

[kidsrcoming]

O nline A sperger S yndrome
I nformation & S upport

"What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well."
-- Antoine-Marie-Roger de Saint-Exupery



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As parents of children who are diagnosed with AS, we understand how essential is it that families of children diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and related disorders, educators who teach children with AS, professionals working with individuals diagnosed with AS, and individuals with AS who are seeking support, have access to information. Although recently reminded that there is no oasis or paradise for those with Asperger Syndrome, we sincerely hope that they, along with parents and professionals, will find a bit of shade and support via the information presented and links available at this site.
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[ourdreamcametru]

Hey Tina
I was wondering if you can look back to when your son was a baby and see any sign of the Aspergers? We have just finalized the adoption of our daughter, 7 months old and her bfather has Asperger's. I know you can't tell until they are older but of course I am constantly watching and worring. She just seems to be on the same track as my two bio sons were at this age. I know I shouldn't worry so much but I want to be on top of things.
I can tell what a great mom you are just by the things you say, your son is so lucky to have you!

[kidsrcoming]

He started real talking at 6 months of age. He didn't crawl. He didn't start walking until the age of 14 months. He made up his own language ie: At age 11 months when my husband had "stubble" on his face, "You have cactus face". He saw telephone/electricity poles and called them, "Electric Trees". Until the age of 3, you will think wow what an amazing child!!! After that, you will notice that the signs are coming through for an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Lack of eye contact, only wants to be held when they want it, high tolerance for pain (will not complain, so watch for this), starts to play with and wants to know about one certain object and nothing else.

My husband has Asperger's tendancies, he's a very successful Computer Programmer, a wonderful daddy, very honest (I have to be the "mother lion" with him also, as people have always taken advantage of him), and a just all around good guy.

Don't worry if she brings in some of her BF's genes in with her, just educate yourself and be prepared for the wonderful journey, if and when you need to be packed for the trip to "Wonderland".

[ourdreamcametru]

Thanks Tina I will be sure to watch for these things. So far she shows none of these signs although I know as with anything else, they are all different. We are ready if the need be to deal with anything that arises because she is our child! Merry Christmas

[DadDude]

Oh how I enjoyed reading this thread. Our older son amazed adults by reading before he was two and memorizes all kinds of "interesting" material, and then recites it ad nauseum. We were fortunate when he reached 1st grade, in that his teacher had a college aged son with AS, and she really enlightened us. Our son too uses the term alien, and he and we discuss his life in "****land," or "the planet ****", his own little world where he is always comfortable. The girls at school just love him and watch out for him constantly, and we have thus far been thrilled that he has not been picked on. Next year is middle school, and that is the toughest time for all children.

We thought our son was a bit peculiar, but then we met a child who really has AS, and that was a real eye opener. Wow! We now consider our son to just be a bit "eccentric!" As stated about others have stated about their children, ours is just the sweetest, most kind child I have ever met. He loves to teach younger children, but doesn't do as well with kids his own age, as he just doesn't understand the social cues. He gravitates to the "world of misfit toys," as he calls it, where all the children are "special," in their own special way. Sports are most definitely not his forte, but when you score in the top percentile on the statewide exams, I guess that doesn't really matter much, does it? There is always plenty to be proud of with these children.

I once read an article on AS that described it as the "geek syndrome," and mentioned how prevalent it is in "Silicone Valley," because these individuals are your classic pocket-protector types that can stay focused on intense jobs like computer programming and de-bugging. The article implied that Bill Gates was the head geek, but I've never read anything authoritative that he has AS. There is hope, the article stated, just get them through middle school and most will come into their own in high school, where their knowledge and special talents are more appreciated by their college bound peers. We still have hope that someday we will have the house to ourselves again.

Best wishes to all for a safe and happy new year.

[FostermomCathie]

Over the holidays we spent 3 days up at the ski resort trekking slowly up the hill, toting snowboards, backpacks, snacks: I couldnt have imagined that this 8yr old, overweight, very uncordinated girl could ever learn to balence on a snowboard long enough to even get a start. We kept telling her that she really didnt know how to do it, she was sure she did. We survived many break downs and frustrations but by the end of the day, she had everyone on the bunny slope so proud of her. I have never in my life seen such determination, when I was ready to stop, she would be taking off her bindings and starting the slow hike back up the hill again. My inpatient words would break her heart and my thrilling yells got her so excited she would have lifted off the ground with pride. By the end of the day she could make it all the way down with only 1 or 2 crashes, at the bottom her yelling with excitment would get everyone around her to smile. For all of you that have had these experiences know how amazed I am. This homeless child has changed my families life forever. This summer I have to go to leave the state and cant take her, its going to be one of the hardest things in my life to leave her to go into another foster home. This little angel has taught me so much, life sure hasnt been fair to her.
Grateful in Colorado,
Cathie