[loubielou]

WOW - I dont know what just happened but I lost a thread. I shall try again...

Hi everyone

Kirsty - I admire your decision. It sounds scary. I can't begin to imagine really. I have also had only one pg and subsequent m/c and that was the saddest event of my life. I can only imagine your pain at the loss of your little girl. No doubt your dh is also terribly frightened of seeing you pg again. However. On the positive side, you have made a decision which gives you some control over your life. I struggle with the lack of choice that infertility brings. In other words, people assume we have chosen not to have children, or that if tomorrow we decided we wanted to start a family it would be that simple. So - I'm preaching to the converted here huh? Anyway - having some choice is positive I think.

Obviously with your decision comes a lot of fear. Which makes you very brave, and I'm honoured to be one of the people you have told.

On a positive - doing IVF means you will be monitored and under a specialist if you do become pg. If you want a kind and sympathetic woman spec, you cant beat Mary Birdsall at FA, she is lovely.
Check out www.everybody.co.nz there is a bulletin board there with a strong IVF thread. some lovely women post there. But that doesnt mean you're allowed to stop posting here. OK?

Take care out there. don't be a stranger

Lou

[loubielou]

Where is everyone? It's gone really quiet around here!

[proudmum]

Hi everyone,,,,hope everyone is well,,, havent been here for a while,,,just been so busy.... i have had a major breakthrough,,,, for the past 14 mnths of my 15 mnth olds life i have been quietly struggling with feeling like a bit of a fraud and feeling like i was not her REAL MUM,,,,,but quess what I AM HER REAL MUM,,,, lol (spose it doesnt help that we moved three times in the last year so things were a bit chaotic)
I was worried about feeling this way before we adopted and i wasnt sure how things would be,,,,but our little girl is the best and we just love her so much and she loves us,,, she is totally meant to be with us,,, so when you all adopt,,, always remember that you will be the only MUM that your child will ever know,,, and its the greatest feeling in the world,,,,, i wish you all the best and really do wish that your wishes of being a family come true......
Would love to talk anytime...

[coffee_please]

No news, but thought I would touch base. We are well and are still planning for IVF over Christmas. We've also decided to get a dog. A spoodle (I think - slightly undecided still). How are you all?

[loubielou]

Hi Kirsty and welcome Proudmum

Ahhhh, I'm having one of those "loser" days, where I feel like everyone except me can have kids. Our profile went out a while back and we were "unsuccessful on this occassion" - a bit like going for a job you know you would be good at and then getting the call . I know there are great people out there waiting too, so I know it's not all about me , but sometimes it's hard.
I am yet to ring about pp, but think I will ... sometime soon. Just don't know if I have the energy for the bureaucracy.

Yay for a decision and a date for IVF Kirsty, I know it's a scary prospect. Keep us updated

[loubielou]

YAY

[coffee_please]

Everything has gone down the crapper. Christmas IVF is off. They have screwed up our appointment, so we will have to wait until November to see (yet) another Doctor (I have never seen the same person twice in all the years I have been going to this clinic) and then (maybe) they will put us on the 6-month waiting list. BAH!!! I'm peeved.

I'm also having a serious melt-down about my sister-in-laws baby - due in November. She is having it in the same hospital I deem (some what) responsible for the terrible end to our last pregnancy. I'm expected to go and see her and the baby there when it is born. I got myself in such a state just thinking about this, so now i'm really nervious about how I will react physically having to go there. She is not the type of person who will understand if I can't go.

[ChelseaCFC]

Hello Everyone. Sorry, I've been away for a long time - nearly a year now I guess. We went home to NZ to give IVF one last shot and now we're back in the UK and back on the road to adoption. Coffee_please - sorry you're being messed around with appointments, they have no idea. Keep strong and on the case, surely they can manage an initial appointment sooner than that - grrrrr! And listen - if you don't feel up to the hospital visit when sister-in-laws baby is born - just don't do it. I know from experience that putting myself through stuff like that just to make other people happy is so not worth it. If you feel strong and want to go along because you're doing it for yourself then thats different. That probably sounds selfish but I think it's too easy to forget to look after yourself and do what is best for you - not everyone else. I'm being brave now and going to visit a friend who was doing IVF at the sametime as me - she had a boy last week. Maybe it's easier 'cause I know she understands how it is - it would be more difficult with someone who gets pregnant at the drop of a hat.
Anyway, we're still on this great big long journey to be a family - it seems to be taking a long time but I'm sure it will be worth the wait.
Happy thoughts and wishes to you all.
CFC

[loubielou]

Hello everyone

Kirsty - that sucks!! What is going on that you are being messed around like that. Not good enough. They should realise what a strain it is for people going through IVF without being treated like that.

I agree with ChelseaFC about your SIL too. I just would not visit. Too bad if she doesnt like it. She will be home soon enough anyway and you can visit her there. Dont be forever putting yourself out for other people. Please do what is best for you. I cant believe how insensitive people can be to expect us to always bury our feelings for them. Let's do coffee... I will pm u.

ChelseaFC - best of luck with adoption and sorry to hear your trip back did not give you the desired outcome. Keep us posted on any progress.

We are plodding. No news. Still waiting for the call.

[Richie68]

Hi everyone - it's me. You may be wondering where have I been. Well I've been right here checking in on emails, but I lost my password and for the life of me could not work out how to get it back. So today I went to set up a new one and they helped me get my old password back. It's only taken me 2 months to get around to doing it.

Good to hear from all of you. Firstly and importantly - Kirsty have you got the dog yet? Also regarding IVF at Christmas. To be honest you so don't want to be doing it then. Get all the yummy food and alcohol out of your system - enjoy it - and then leap into IVF into the new year.

My big news is that we are 20 weeks pregnant . I don't know if some of you remember but I had a miscarriage around November last year (bummer Christmas as you can imagine) and this year in May/June we defrosted the last of our eggs. One survived and was implanted and now we are 20 wks down the track. It's very exciting and very scary at the same time.

Chelsea you must tell us all about UK adoption it must be completely different to ours (or do I have pregnancy brain and you are using the NZ system). From what I understand it appears to be older children largely from different ethnic groups. Just interested to hear all about it.

Well I best get back to work. I am suppose to be working but hey some things are more important right.

We are coming up to our Adopted son's 3rd birthday (Jack). We are taking him off to Brisbane to celebrate it. I can't believe it has been 3 years since we got the phone call. We're planning to have an adoption day party (which was 3 wks after his birth) when we get back. We've been trying to explain to him about his adoption. We tell him he has a birth mother (who he has never met - short of birth) and he keeps on telling me - no your my mummy - it's all very cute - so much for trying to tell him about adoption via osmosis ah.

Wish you all lived in the Wellington Region (does anybody) as I would love to catch up with you all.

Signing off

Richie68, Jack (3yrs) and Junior

[loubielou]

Wow Richie congratulations! That is amazing news. You must be so happy.
That is cute about your boy's reaction - makes sense that he only knows you as mum, but good on you for trying to tell him hopefully he will start to process it and it will make sense (eventually) without being scary or a big shock. good for you

[coffee_please]

I'll say congratulations Richie - that is fantastic news! I MAY also have some news in the next few days. I will post again when I know for sure what's happening. So stay tuned folks!!! It's very exciting stuff. BTW, I did get my puppy and she is beautiful. Her name is Izzie.

[loubielou]

Kirsty - I'm on the edge of my seat... can't wait to hear your news.
Louise

[ChelseaCFC]

Congratulations Richie, that's great news! Kirsty - can't wait to hear your news either. Glad you got the puppy - what kind of dog is she? I'd love a dog one of these days.
Richie - yes, we're adopting through the UK system. The kids are generally not younger than 2 years, from all different ethnic groups but they like to match like with like, so whether we'd like it or not we won't get matched with say an asian baby. We're hoping for two siblings - that is of course if we get approved through panel next month.
Take care guys, I'm sending you all happy positive thoughts (man that's a long way).
Chelsea

[coffee_please]

Congratulations to Us

I am pleased to announce that we are the proud parents of a little 3-week old boy. He is beautiful. Perfect in every way. We bring him home Monday. He was 7-weeks prem, but is doing really well. He is healthy and perfect (opps I already said that). We are so excited.

My goodness, this last bit has just happened so fast. We are due back up at the hospital Sunday, so we only have tomorrow to shop for EVERYTHING . Aaaarrrrgggghhhhhhh

Now, where did I put that bottle of champagne?