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Originally Posted By Reba

X is 5, he has been in foster homes since age 2 1/2, taken from a mother who neglected him and left the garbage can open so he could eat, a foster care home he was in for about 2 years physically and mentally abused him, in between he was in several other homes who did not want him. Can anyone imagine this happening to them?
We took X, day one X came to live with us he was angry and hit, kicked, yelled, bite, scratched, and did anything possible to make us not want him.This lasted for what seemed liked forever, (there were moments of clarity for him where he responded with love, they did not last long)After one week my husband and I had our hand on the phone to call his social worker to have him removed, I'm not sure what stopped us, maybe the question , where is he going to go? Most of his 5 years have been nothing but pain, neglect, and disappointment. That Sunday afternoon my lifes goal was to save this child, to bring him back from that lonely, dark place he lived in. One thing you will notice with RAD children, they are very smart and cunning, they like to control everything, if you lose your temper that's another battle they won in there minds. I have watched my son with different doctors and seen him do it, he can't play that game with mommy anymore, I know it to well.The turning point with X was when he also realized mommy new it, he was so desperate for someone to love him and accept him for who he is, not the perfect child everyone wants. My son and I were going through one of our battles (I call them battles) mommy doesnt lose her temper anymore, my sons exact words" I am going to be so bad you won't want me anymore, I am going to chop you up into little pieces when your sleeping". That was a frightening moment, this is coming from a 5 year old child. (I wasn't really worried my dog (big dog)sleeps next to me at night, if he was serious he would'nt get that far) And of course he wasn't serious , if anyone else would of heard it you would of thought he was. While I was holding my son on the ground, I looked at him dead in the eye, my exact words"Be as bad as you want to be, do what you think you want to do, but one thing will never change, you are my son and I love you no matter what you do or say" That probaly was our first turning point, these battles were intense and can drain every ounce of energy you have, when you child is fighting you, you must control the situation, which sometimes means holding his hands, legs or whatever was needed so he wont hurt you or himself. My son was 60 pounds, it sometimes took a lot to stop him from his un controllable hitting, and kicking. I had to put him down to the floor and lay across him to stop everything, I am 5'4 and 125 pounds a 60 pound kid hitting and kicking is quite powerful especially when he is in a daze and doesnt realize what he is doing, my son didnt always remember everything he did. You need to be determined and strong willed and a big heart to take on a RAD child they are not for the meek and mild. Not every child may come out of this but after only 5 months of intense times, alot of love,patience, fixing broken items, more love and support, my child is a different boy today. We still have a ways to go and see a doctor each month, it was all worth it and I would do it all again for my X. X has started school this year, and doing well.I would love to talk to anyone with RAD children and there experiences, there is alot more to this story but you can only type so much at a time. If you have the heart and the will, save a child with RAD.