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Old 12-27-2011, 10:09 PM
sallygirly sallygirly is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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Heart My boyfriend doesnt trust me, thinks i am cheating.

i have a boyfriend (young adult) was adopted at birth and we have been dating for about half a year now. Yet he always has this suspicion that i am cheating on him. no matter how many times i reassure him of my deep love for him, he just doesnt seem to believe me. This hurts me alot, more because i think his doubt in me hurts him.
sometimes we will be having a normal conversation and he will suddenly ask me if im mad at him, or if i hate him.

i just want him to not have the burden of thinking all these bad thoughts. but, i dont know how to get through to him, or how to help

besides having a couple of friends who were adopted, i dont really know much. If there is any advice, on how to go about this, or how to help him trust me, or how we can work together on this one, id be really thankful.


Last edited by sallygirly : 12-27-2011 at 10:34 PM.
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Old 12-28-2011, 09:26 AM
millie58 millie58 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,291
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He sounds insecure which may or may not be rooted in his adoption. He needs to figure out why he's inseure. He has to do it himself; there's not much you can do (IMHO)

Adoptive mom to 4

L, came home 5/05; adopted 6/06
P, came home 2/06; adopted Adoption Day, 06
J, came home 5/07; adopted 1/09
B, came home 5/07; adopted 1/09

Respite to D and J
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Old 12-28-2011, 09:27 AM
jeffw jeffw is offline
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That isn't necessarily related to adoption at all, though that could be a root cause. Many people are that way-- codependent. There is nothing you can do. He has to work through it himself in his own time. Could be many years or never. He is probably best paired with a woman with a similar issue. He needs a desperate woman to hang onto him. Over time people like that will really annoy those who don't have such emotional/maturity issues.
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