[mouschi]

so that basically sums it up - our daughter has been home for about 2 years. she is a smart little devil. those 3 words ALL fit her perfectly, btw!

- she is deaf, super duper hyperactive and is RAD (not official, but seems pretty plain to us).

- she argues and throws a fuss about literally everything and disobeys at any possibility. Working examples:

arguing ....
"Wash your hands" - no, i don't need to. i washed them eariler. "I don't care, wash your hands again." no, thats not necessary. etc.

disobedience ....
"don't feed the dog". she feeds him when we arent looking. "Why did you feed him?" oh he was hungry. "NEVER feed the dog ... ever." she does it again ... and again and again (over a span of several weeks, not within minutes of each other.)

Yeah, she hits / kicks / rages from time to time too, but the constant, un-ending disobedience and arguing is REALLY wearing mom and dad (my wife and I) down! Something needs to change!

Punishments include - going to room, cleaning, and/or writing sentences Bart Simpson style (ie - writing several times over"i will not..")

It is really getting old. Fast. We need a therapist - we think. But it seems like none are qualified, but one we possibly spoke with today. This one says she is qualified in international adopted kids with attachment disorders BUT - she is charging $250 the first visit and $150 per each 45 minute visit!!!! That is insane, no? What should we expect? Is this normal? What do we do? All the others are conflicting info.

Love to hear from others please.

[Lorraine123]

An experienced attachment therapist is worth their weight in gold. If your child had cancer, you would find the best and pay any price. Think of attachment disorder int he same way. It is expensive, I know, but without it your child will never have a true emotional attachment.

[hrisme]

An average therapist around here makes $100 an hour, and that's without any specific specialties. I wouldn't be surprised if $150 is the going rate for therapy in general in your area. Consider the fact that not only does she have the time in session, she likely puts in extensive time outside of the session logging, researching, possibly providing crisis support when needed, etc. You will easily pay $50 for a 15 minute appointment with a doctor, so a therapist with a PHd is not really charging more than any other medical specialist, you just see them for a longer period of time. Don't suppose you're lucky enough to have insurance that will cover her? (no names, of course) perhaps others on the board

Can you find out more about her qualifications, training, therapuetic orientation, etc? If you post the info here could help you determine if she really is qualifed and worth the expense.

A therapist who doesn't know what they are doing is far too often worse than none at all when dealing with attachment disorder.

Slightly OT suggestion on the lines, turn them from negatives into positives. Same with any interaction--don't tell her what NOT to do (because she will promptly do it), tell her what TO do. So instead of "I will not yell at mom" have her write "I will speak to mom with respect." She probably still wont' do it, but at least your encouraging positive support!