[cvalda]

I have had two kids receive an RAD diagnosis this week (and testing a third in a week).

One is S, my 12-yr old adopted son (adopted at age 7, placed with me at 4 1/2).

The other is my foster daughter C, who is 6 now.

My parents are having trouble understanding the RAD diagnosis and what it entails. I tried to explain but they aren't getting it. My stepdad ("Grandpa" to my kids) does a lot with S - takes him to soccer, etc - and doesn't see most of the issues as S behaves great on the soccer field and with Grandpa. Grandpa can't understand these issues, and wants to know how they play into S's school issues (refusing to do homework, etc).

My mom has a better grasp on it as she has been the secondary target of S's issues, but I think she could use a little help understanding it, as well. For instance, it is my plan to homeschool S next year so we can work on some issues that need he needs to get a good handle on before high school, and because I told her that RAD kids can have difficulty with one-on-one things, she thinks me homeschooling him will be detrimental to him.

I am looking for some easy to read articles that can help them understand these things. Of course as Grandparents they don't have as clear of a grasp on behavior issues, etc because they didn't raise kids with anything near these issues! Grandpa can't understand why he can have a "bond" with S when S can't develop that sort of bond with most other people, including me... Most articles I am finding are written for new kids coming into the home, or for younger children. I am especially looking for something that can easily explain RAD to them regarding an older child who has been part of our family for a very long time!

Also my mom thinks that I shouldn't adopt my foster kids (foster-to-adopt placement) because of C's diagnosis (even though having this diagnosis doesn't CHANGE her at all, she's the same today as yesterday) but my mom is frightened of the doctor's warning that she will likely get much worse (aggression wise) and need a closer eye on her as she ages. However C and her two sibs have been with me for almost 2 years now, and it's FINALLY heading towards TPR and I'm not about to back out now!

Thanks for your help!!!

;~) Kelly

[Biblemom]

Welcome to Attachment & Trauma Network* - ATN
Reactive attachment disorder - MayoClinic.com
RadKid.Org: Reactive Attachment Disorder & Detachment Issues

I would suggest they read Parenting the Hurt Child by Gregory Keck.

[kretzklan]

Attachment Disorder | Nancy Thomas Parenting | Attachment.org | Reactive Attachment Disorder has lots of great printable letters for family and teachers. Do be a bit careful of telling them too much. As you are already seeing, very well meaning people can sometimes become negative about the children and situations. I'm an open book - and they need to know any dangers since they spend time with them...but you also don't want to paint the grimmest picture ever!

[GoddessDanu]

Thank you for posting this. I have been looking to doing more research on this.