[wbfamily]

Our son came to us in Feb of 2006 just before his 3rd b-day. He had drugs in utero and it took 12 wks to wean him off. He spent the next almost 3 yrs in 3 different foster care homes. He was diagnosed with sensory integration in foster care and has since been diagnosed with RAD. We had alot of challenges in the beginning but he has improved tremendously and we have adapted some and are doing great now.

The problem is that he started kindergarten this year and they have a zero tolerence policy. (He did spend 2 years in Headstart). He doesn't qualify for any IEP so I could only get a 504 plan. He has been put in detention many times and has been suspended 4 times now. Most have been for fighting or fighting back but the last time was for holding a kid and threatening to stab him with a pair of scissors. His counselor is now asking us to consider medications for anxiety. We are hoping that with the stress of xmas over he will get better like he did last year in headstart but have to consider it anyway. Does anyone have any experience or advice on this?


Beth

[lucyjoy]

He can't get an IEP under other emotional impairment due to the RAD? If not, apply for the 504.

How is he at home as compared to school? Can you pinpoint his triggers? Rad kids tend to be very hypervigelent and need strong teachers that mean what they say. My son often felt he was being threatened if a kid cut in line or accidently bumped him. We taught him words to say when these things happened that allowed him to calm before reacting.

With your sons outbursts, meds could be useful. If the issues are anxiety related, and anti-anxiety med might help. Anti-psychotics can help for some issues as well.

It might be worth having a psychologist evaluate him to see if they feel meds would be appropriate. I'd try to find someone familiar with RAD to evaluate if possible.

[wbfamily]

Originally Posted by lucyjoy

He can't get an IEP under other emotional impairment due to the RAD? If not, apply for the 504.

How is he at home as compared to school? Can you pinpoint his triggers? Rad kids tend to be very hypervigelent and need strong teachers that mean what they say. My son often felt he was being threatened if a kid cut in line or accidently bumped him. We taught him words to say when these things happened that allowed him to calm before reacting.

With your sons outbursts, meds could be useful. If the issues are anxiety related, and anti-anxiety med might help. Anti-psychotics can help for some issues as well.

It might be worth having a psychologist evaluate him to see if they feel meds would be appropriate. I'd try to find someone familiar with RAD to evaluate if possible.

They will only consider an IEP if it gets to the point where his school work is being affected.
I don't think the school has dealt with RAD before but they are doing everything they can to help us.
He has been called a rollercoaster by teachers in the past because of his emotional status. He acts up when he feels threatened, isn't getting attention or is trying to be funny.
What words did you teach your son to say? We have been working with him all along to get him to use words instead of lashing out but we are still having problems.
If you wouldn't mind could I ask your advice on another issue also? Being a military mom how have you dealt with deployment with RAD?
We didn't want to ruin the holidays but we need to tell our boys that their dad is heading out in February again. My oldest son (bio) had to deal with this 2 times already (actually it was 3 but two of his deployments ran together). But my 5 yr old hasn't dealt with this yet and with all the problems at school already I don't know what will happen.
My husband is AGR Guard and we are far from any base. I cochair the FRG also.

[lucyjoy]

Honestly, I taught my son to say "yes maam and yes sir" when confronted by adults about situations. Seems silly but sayting that gave him just enough time for his brain to think. For kids I taught hi to say "excuse me" even if the other kid bumped him. All he needed was a 30 second time stop. He was excited the first time he tried it and it worked.

My sons are in the military so I haven't had to deal with telling them a parent is deploying. I think RAD kids are so hypervigelent that they are constantly hearing everything that goes on. Because of this, for something as big as dad leaving, I'd be honest. I'd also focus on how strong mom is and that mom can handle both mom and dad's job while dad is away. A rad kids biggest fear is a threat to his own survival. He'll need to be sure dad leaving doesn't effect that.

You also might try posting your question in the special needs section of this board. It gets a lot more traffic and lots of mom's/dad's of rad kids post there.