[guatmom4113]

Well, in my last post I was seriously thinking about putting my dd on medicine. I decided not to do this opting to wait and see . . . , etc. I would love to say that I have afforded to take my child to attachment therapy, but our finances do not afford this when insurance doesn't help.

Anyway, today my dd who is 12 told me, "Mom, did I ever tell you that I love you very, very much?!" I replied, "I can never hear this enough." I hate to be cynical, but when I've heard this before, I was usually being manipulated in some form or fashion. Then she said, "Have I ever told you I am very happy you are my mother and I'm very happy with this family?" Well, that just about floored me! My dd has been home, next month, two years. She was adopted internationally. Perhaps this is healing?!!

Another mom I met told me something interesting. She told me that these children want the ap to reject them, too, that way they can rationalize that their bmom wasn't bad. They ARE bad. And for some reason, that's easier to accept.

I have had several talks with my dd about life and choices and why I adopted her in the first place. Maybe she is starting to heal . . .

Wouldn't that be something?! Today, I am hopeful . . .

[PabloandCarlosMama]

Thank you for sharing about your daughter. It's those rays of hope that keep us going! There's a lot to be said for simply being there, and showing up day after day after day. It's unfortunate that your insurance won't cover attachment therapy, but there are success stories on this board of families in similar situations who have done lots of reading, getting support, etc., who are able to see attachment form with their children when the therapy isn't available. So please keep posting through the ups and the downs.

[Jessi_76]

That really sounds like wonderful progress...I'm hoping for your family!!!

[kretzklan]

That does sound wonderful - I hope that some good days are in the future. We just started attachment therapy and our insurance won't cover it either. However I did find an AT that was willing to work with us on rates - and paying for the session (about once every two weeks - he is far away) includes as many needed telephone/email questions as I need answered. AD kids just need a WHOLE different set of parenting techniques. I had read all the books - but yet it wasn't until I heard a real human telling me to do what I thought I needed to do that it really hit home. These kiddos do think they are bad and it is re-enforced each and every time that we allow them to have control of anything. That makes them scared - although they will push for it relentlessly.
Anyway - I won't go off on the tangent of all that I've learned (I'd be happy to share in PM if you are interested...hey, we can get two families on therapy for the price of one)! I am happy that she said nice things and I also understand that it sometimes feel crappy when you are second guessing why she's saying it - I do that all the time!