[krampa]

Our extended family (my wife and I are the grand-foster parents of our daughter's kids) has 3 foster and/or adopted kids under the ages of 22 months, 2 of which are within two weeks of being identical in age, about 9 months. Both of these little girls, 'M' and 'K', have been in our family for nearly all their lives, one having come to us at the age of 2 days, the other at about 2 weeks. We all want very much to fully adopt both/all of them, and, of course, each one's adoptibility situation is unique.

M and K have always shared a small bedroom, including matching cribs, and have been raised as I think any famly would raise twins, though they came from different bio-families and geographic locations. We wish to establish and document, to any degree (and as great a degree as possible), the girls' very special bonding between one another, and are seeking other foster/adoptive families with similar situations, in order to discuss and develop such information.

We look forward to supportively corresponding with you in this regard. Thank you

[krampa]

Just wanted to include "artificial twins" in the thread, as that seems to be the term used to describe the situation/relationship between these two infants. (And I couldn't find an option to EDIT the orig. posting.)

[scandi]

I don't have any experience with this just wanted to say welcome. I am glad that you were there for your grandchildren when they needed it.

[marythemom]

I have no experience with this, but I hope that the children can be kept together and their bond is respected.

Our extroverted adopted daughter is a little over 1 year older than our biological daughter. When she came into our home at age 11 we didn't think we were "twinning" them, but we hadn't realized being in the same grade at school would be an issue. Our introverted biodaughter is one of the youngest in her class (summer birthdate), but is very big for her age (turned 12 last weekend and is 5'7" and still growing) and very mature in some ways. Our adopted daughter is very immature and in public school was primarily in special education classes due to her learning disabilities, ADHD and special needs. Still they became competitive and fought like cats and dogs.

You can't imagine 2 girls so very different, and yet... over the last year they are slowly bonding to each other. We did discover that putting them in separate bedrooms helped their relationship a lot. I'm sure that wouldn't be an issue for you - but my girls are hitting puberty and the hormones are running high. Still, they have similar interests (both love playing with dolls) and this has helped them bond. My poor biodaughter is probably learning a lot about therapeutic play, but both girls don't seem to be any worse off for it.

I feel so sorry for my kids and all the bonds they've made with biosiblings that remained in the birth home, step-siblings and random people and children that lived in the home for a time, and of course foster siblings. My son has RAD so this probably isn't as much an issue for him, but my daughter has lost a lot of important people in her life. At least she now has a forever home, and I do what I can to maintain contact with former foster families and biofamily and of course biosiblings.

Hugs and prayers,