[pkbear]

Hi all,

I know that this issue is par for the course, but my 9-month-old has developed problems falling asleep that I am sure are related to attachment.

A little background: DD lived in an orphanage until right around her 7-month birthday. We have been living together (just the two of us) in an apartment in Guatemala while our seemingly interminable adoption process finishes up. We have been together for 9 solid weeks. She only has one caregiver besides me: a very loving, experienced nanny who comes two afternoons a week (8 hours total a week), so I can do things like grocery shop and generally stay sane. During the day, I spend a lot of time holding her, playing with her on the floor, and carrying her around in the front pack.

Up until a few days ago, I could get DD to sleep fairly easily by cradling her like a newborn and rocking her and singing to her. She seemed to like this and would fall asleep within 10 minutes or so. Now, suddenly, she wants nothing to do with this position. She arches her back and screams and generally throws a tantrum. She wants me to hold her, but will not relax enough to go to sleep. Even though she has become fairly cuddly with me during her awake time, she now refuses to lay her head down when she's tired. Tonight, she was up three hours past her normal bedtime and despite being exhausted (her eyes were red and she could barely keep them open), she refused to go to sleep, even though I walked the floor with her for an hour straight. Finally, out of fatigue (I am ALL alone here), I tried to put her down for awhile in her pack-n-play. (She sleeps in it next to my bed). I gave her her stuffed bunny to cuddle with. Almost immediately, she cried, so I picked her up, since I have read that with adopted children, you should never leave their cries unanswered. We repeated this "rock the baby, put the baby down, baby cries, pick the baby up" thing like 12 times. The poor thing kept sitting up on her knees in the pack-n-play and crying, even though she was so tired she was practically falling over. I finally let herself fuss herself to sleep while I sat right next to her where she could see me.

I know the reason behind her issue is attachment. She is not sick, as she is completely content during the day (well, except at nap time) and she has no medical symptoms.

My question is, how can I give her the comfort she needs while at the same time helping her to learn to fall asleep on her own?

I would appreciate feedback that is as specific as you have time to make it!

I should add that co-sleeping is not an option. She is a very active little girl even in her sleep and I'm living in a rented, pre-furnished apartment that is just not conducive to safe co-sleeping.

Thanks in advance!!

[SSgtShortie]

My daughter was the same way for at least a month, until we figured out that we needed to give her a bottle, a cuddly blanket and play some soft music when we put her down to sleep. The other thing that helped was we started a nightly routine that was giving her a bath right before bed time, making sure we had no stimulating things around once she was done in the bath. Soft lights, and we even had to let her cry it out for a while as well. We checked on her every once in a while to make sure she was okay, but pretty much just left her to cry her tantrum out of her, making her tired. Good Luck, hope this helps...let me know if it does or not.

[pkbear]

Thanks, Ssgtshortie! I especially like the bath idea. I will give it a try!

[SSgtShortie]

Okay, so how are things going?? Hopefully pretty good, another thing to try that I forgot about was trying cooling off the house, as much as you can, then give her a nice fuzzy blanket to cuddle with. My daughter loves sleeping in a decently cool room, just like me. Take care, talk to you soon.

[Forever_family]

I know this is way late, but as I was reading I immediatly thought ear infection. It could be attachment related, but maybe just geher ears checked out in case. With my kiddoes who have had several ear infections they would go through exactly what you described because laying down position puts preasure on their ears.

Good luck with your adoption.