[whoownsthis]

Hmm, are we sure the fm was actually just going to leave him, or was this something the child told the respite fm? The description makes it sound like the fm told this to the respite mom directly, as in, "We're not coming to get him. We're at wit's end and can't do this anymore." ...Lucy makes a great point that this fm was able to collect herself, wipe the tears, and come get the kid. Good for her! Remember, too, that RADishes are terrific for respite families (I know, having sent "nice, compliant" kiddos back after having them for respite only to see escalations in behavior in their foster home including suicide attempts!), but completely different children in their home environment.

What supports was fm getting from DCS and therapists? Did everyone see this child as "sweet, charming, funny?" as people see my oldest RADish? Was fm made to look like an overbearing, angry woman whom nobody would believe? Maybe she really was at the end of her rope because nobody would believe her. Maybe she doesn't know about RAD and so she doesn't have the language to describe what she's seeing. We all know from personal experience that beating your head against the wall can only last so long before we snap! Maybe she was hoping the respite fm would see the behaviors she had been seeing all along, and when that didn't happen, she decided (short-sightedly) just to throw in the towel. Maybe....we just don't know the whole story. Hopefully, though, this fm gets the help she needs to help this kiddo heal.

(That's supposed to be a "peace" sign.)

[Sissy22]

she called cw and said just to leave him @ my house but then when the child called cw crying they said they'd give him another chance i agree he probably was better for me then normal partly cause it was a holiday weekend and i was off and we went to the movies,skating, played board games etc plus i know alot of kids are better behaved for respite families i just felt bad right @ that moment when he broke down saying i want to go home this isn't fair etc hopefully everythings going well for them our agency's holiday party is coming up so maybe i can check on him thanks guys

[momraine]

I think in this situation it's the caseworker that fell down on the job. The FM probably was really having a rough time and just could not go back and get him at that moment, so she called the caseworker. The caseworker should have been the one to drive over to the house and explain things to this kid. She probably knew more about the situation than the respite provider. It should not have been dumped in Sissy's lap to have to tell him. Also the social worker could have reassured him he would be taken care of. Sissy it sounds like did not have enough information to help him. Poor kid was probably worried about whether he would ever see his sister or his toys again (depending on the kid one might have worried him more than the other) He might have been afraid he was going to be dumped on the street. Depending on his past he might have had a lot of fears of places he would be sent. The social worker would have the knowledge of where he had been to reassure him. She could have told him she would work on arranging visits with his sister or getting his stuff or whatever. If the kid has already been in the system at least two years, he knows Sissy has no say in where he goes next and no answers as to why.
My son is a total angel for strangers, and a very different person at home.

[Sissy22]

I just wanted to let you all know i saw him w/his foster parents today @ a christmas party he seemed fine and happy w/them so that's good ! thanks for all the support !