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I just wanted to respond to the attachment spectrum problems posted on adoption.com.

I had a severely borderline mother and have coped well. I wanted to remind people that there are "dandelion children," who thrive despite terrible environments, and also not to think that something is "set for life." Intervention in a child displaying certain personality disorders can correct it. In my case, I did not develop any personality disorders, but I did suffer severe depression. The mind is more plastic than some proponents of certain attachment theories might suggest-- if you look at self psychology, it allows for the idea that things can be corrected even later on, both in terms of behavior and the actual chemistry of the brain. As children certain pathways are literally set down in response to our environment, so an abused child may for example be conditioned to be in fear or respond warily, for example. But these can be corrected with "doses" of corrective/reparitive relationships, like a great therapist and a great adoptive family.

A little about my background now...

My dad is biracial and was adopted into a monoracial family. His biracial status was never addressed (some race issues in his family) and as a result that part of his background was never explored. it is not that he wanted to reconnect with his bio parents, because he certainly did not see them as his parents given he wasn't raised by them. However, it has identity ramifications (on top of the complications of being adopted already!). As his child, I'm negotiating exploring that identity, one of my siblings has been and I'm reaching out for support in my community from people of color and bi/multi-racial status. Especially if you pass as one race (in my case white), it is really hard to go back and begin to actively explore a part of identity you never had any active connection with.

This too plays into attachment I think-- his parents played into an attachment style predicated on not articulating certain things, and I think that had a lot to do with the lack of verbalization in my family about my mom's issue until I (and one of my sisters, though ambivalently) came to a point on our own as adults.

I'm rambling a bit but if anyone has positive stories to tell as well as personal feedback/experience on the biracial and adoption complexities it would be appreciated! hope that wasn't too disorganized.

WT