[az sun]

Hi, we have a brief placement of a 2.5 yr old girl who came into care over a year ago and is transitioning to relatives. The prior FP has said she is RAD and MR.

I have read/listened to some Nacy Thomas and Parenting the hurt child, so a brief intro into RAD.
When she came into care she had obvious trauma, eg broken bones etc.

A couple of questions of strategy with certain situations.
I have not had enough experience whether to push or back of basically.
She has big fears, phobias of our dogs, flies, being left alone (ie we go to get her drink and she is alone at the table and come back immediatelty).
Her dog phobia has lessened and we are working on not being overwhelmed.
When she is overwhelmed or being "resistant" (eg help me pick up the books) she will tune out - this is beyond usual I believe.
With dogs or flies she will stop eye contact, cry/whine, and become immobile (almost flight/fright, ptsd, frozen) - dont know any possible history with dogs.

With things like helping clean up she will look away avoid eye contact, say no and if I am persistant, ie okay we will wait till your ready she will then help relatively cheerfully afterI try to redirect her like let me see your beautiful eyes, where is your nose etc till she "comes back".

So... my question is when she is triggered what are the best ways to work with her??? I try to reestablish eye contact but I am not sure if hugs or holding her renforces the fear or not? I say this because she was outside playing and I was tidying up and she played a little with the dog she fears inside, although she fears them more inside than out.
She also gorges food to the point of needing her hands to hold it in her mouth.

Besides this she is really good with our 1 yr old, absolutely no aggession, she will not really play by herself. As far as the MR dx she dresses herself can work the pin wooden puzzles of matching profeciently, put on shoes, say colors (though not correct ones) so I am not sure where that comes in.
The prior fp said she had processing issues however it seems to me she gets more ptsd and frozen as a coping skill when scared or does not want to do something, its seems almost hard wired response.

so in my brief time with her how to work with the frozen withdrawal no eye contact response.

Thanks.

[jackiesbooks]

Iwould question - Autism? I think she needs a good evaluation. Does not MR to me.

[az sun]

Thanks for your reply, she will not be with us long enough for more dx, I take any dx with a grain of salt anyway, especially RAD dx before even age 3 when trauma can affect us in many different ways.

Mostly I really wanted to know if holding her and "pacifying" her when she gets into her fears helps her or hinders her, or if I should try more to empower her. I find it hard to work with redirection and discipline when she tunes out and avoids eye contact and cries to maybe... manipulate, control or show frustration, I just dont know.

I want to help things the best I can I have not had much experience with this age group, mostly under one or around 4yrs old.