[sseymou1]

We've been home for 3 weeks and Che is 7 1/2 mos. Should I be concerned that he loves everyone?
We've limited visitors and Ross and I are home with him all day. However, whenever we go out he smiles and reaches for anyone who talks to him and at the pediatrician's office - he would go happily with anyone of the nurses or the doctor.

Part 2.
Sometimes he just screeches/screams. He isn't crying and he isn't tired, wet, hungry..he's just loud!
Why is he doing that?


Am I worried too soon?

Thanks!

[Axil]

Hi,

I'm no expert but we have looked after about 15 different children and at least half of them have been over affectionate towards strangers, one on a first meeting with me said I love you and will call you Mummy from now on.

I just think they are very vulnerable when they do this and need help understanding the dangers of going off and talking happily to people they dont know.

Hope this helps to know it's not just you.

[momraine]

He is very young, I would not get too worried yet, because you will just get stressed. However, I would reccomend practicing attachment parenting. Pick him up when he cries, don't let other people hold, comfort, feed, change or hug him. When people visit, let them talk to him, but keep him in your arms. Keep limiting the visitors. Give him some time to learn who is mom and dad. Remember that for the first part of his life, any adult was pretty much the same as any other. He has to learn that you and dad are special and different and that you are the ones he has to turn to in order to get his needs met, not other adults. There may be a problem, or it just may be a habit that attatchment parenting will overcome. The screaming may be him expressing some of the grief and frustration he is experiencing. Imaging if you were taken from your dh and moved to a new country where people did not speak your language and expected to trust these people, including a new dh you had never seen before. Now, after three weeks there would you feel safe yet? Would you expect someone who has lost a loved one or gone through a divorce to feel safe after three weeks or to be finished grieving? Probably not. He can't express his sadness or his confustion. (everything is different, things smell different, the sounds are different, the light level in the bedroom is probably different, the food, the language, the toys, the clothes, everything has changed) so just keep comforting him and letthing him know that you will meet all of his needs. Give that some time and see how things are looking.

[ddhuab]

Zoe was 11 mo. when we brought her home. She loved all men and would reach out for them to pick her up. I think this is because the fm's husband was very involved in the childcare and played with her.

Her attachment process is going very well. I think for right now you just have a friendly baby. Were there a lot of people in his foster home? In Zoe's there was the fm and fdad, two grandchildren 5 and 7, a grown daughter in college (mother to the grandchildren) and another foster baby waiting for her adoption to complete. She was used to social situations, lol.

Your son has only been home a very short time, and you are doing the right thing by mainly keeping him home with you and your huband. We did the same for about 3 months, with little going out. (We did go out of town and stay with grandparents and see family for Christmas and for her birthday, and took her to friends' houses a few of times). Quite honestly, from outside appearances anyway, I think I had the bigger adjustment issues to being a mommy than Zoe did with coming home to us. I did read up on attachment parenting before bringing her hoem, and I wore her in a sling a lot of the time those three months.

I think it is too early to know if you are going to have bonding issues or not, and it is good you are watchful with the "loving everyone" aspect. Even though Zoe started out social, she now has to warm up to people for about thrity minutes (then she is very friendly). Still, you can see a preference for mommy and daddy. Keep beign watchful and doing what you are doing.

-D.