[Goincrazy]

MY DD who is 8 (9 in Jan) is now post adoption by two years. Just recently (since August) her behavior has changed. She started back to public school and has developed a really poor attitude. She rolls her eyes, back talks, destroys property and is out right defiant. We homeschooled all our little ones for a year after the adoption to help with attachment. Just this year decided they needed to go back to school. We have had lots of changes this year and I know that can twist a kid in knots. When she is behaving this way it does not make me want to love on her, it makes me want to push her away.
I'm sitting here typing and I hear all the answers to this question. Yet when it's time to put it all into action I'm just so exhausted by her behavior that I can't make it work. Someone please help me love her more. I have two others at home that are doing very well in school and life. Yet, when I try to talk with them or help them in anyway she PUTS herself right in the middle of everything and disrupts what is happening. I know that this is a very selfish age and yet I don't know how to help her.

If any of your are practicing Messianic Yisra'elites please PM me and help me with my children.

Thank You
Goin Crazy
in Quincy, CA

[lucyjoy]

"When she is behaving this way it does not make me want to love on her, it makes me want to push her away"

This is likely her intention. She's feeling out of control and unsafe and using her behavior to scream this at you.

She may have a stuck point somewhere. When I tried sending one son back to school, he began acting out. He finally said he needed to know where I was all day.
I was annoyed at first but then he blurted that when he left, he was afraid school would end and none of us or the house would still be here. Needless to say, he came back home to do some more work.

Are you working with a therapist at all? It's hard to love a kid who's pushing you away and it's easy to build up resentment when they are creating caos in the family.