[rottymom]

Hi, I am having an extremely hard day. We are having homework battles...she just doesn't get it. I just don't know how to help her. I didn't help her all year last year because I didn't want the fight. Should I stick it out or just quit again...I know she doesn't care...she doesn't want to read or learn math. She could care less. I don't know how to motivate her but I don't want her not to learn.
I have never made her do anything until homework...now it is a constant fight. I hate it.

[lucyjoy]

You can't force her to learn. If she wants polite assistance, great. If not, you provide her space and time to do homework and let her deal with the consequences if she chooses not to do it.

[T-N-T]

Lucyjoy,

How politically incorrect of you! I like it!

Rottymommy,

Don't sweat it tell her, "don't worry honey there are plenty of jobs out there that don't require a good education."

"You could become a ditch digger, or maybe you could become one of those people who stand by the road and flip the stop/slow sign! But if your having problems spelling that might not be right for you....hmmmm...what about diswasher! Hey, I can even get you some great pre-employment experience in the kitchen tonight!"

I would most definitely avoid the power struggle it does NO good for you and she only sees she can make you react.

Instead come up with logical consequences you can live with.

Natural consequences will take care off themselves.

One may be that she has to repeat a grade or attend summer school.

But by all means don't fall prey to the dreaded "what will others think about me," thing when making your decision.

Pick your battles, and when you do, do whatever it takes to win!

only my opinion

[dadfor2]

well, i agree with the others, that its not worth the battle.

i know tthat we have made these little 'homework boxes' for each kid, and when they do there homework, in their boxes are a little candy bar or something, kinda like an award.

it seems to be working here.

or you can say that everytime you do your homework, you get a chip, and each chip is worth 50 cents, and then at the end of the week you can cash them in (not sure how old your kiddo is)

or maybe talk to the school, some kids just ddont like to do homework with their parents, because of self-estemm. they dont want their parents to know how much they dont know...(even if they do)so maybe talk to the school and see if there is someone after school that can help her.

or maybe a tutor....

my feeling on all this, is that we need to work on attachment with our kids, i feel that is the biggest issue. If homework is causing such a diffulculty in your life and the battles keep goinng, its not worth it in the long run.

if it all fails, so be it....let it go, its not your homework but hers....it really comes down to her choice. If she chooses not to do it, then she can take the consequence at school.

just let the teacher know that she tantrums, and that you can no longer do the battles. Let them deal with it.

sorry you had such a tough day, my little one is not a homework, the 'homework box' has helped, and i let him build a little 'homework/arts and crafts section' on his own, and he seems to want to sit in his 'corner' of his 'space' and do the work...

for now anway.......

oh, what i also did (am i boring you yet?)
I took my sons homework, after him yelling like he does, and just looked at it and said

"hmmmmm i can see why you dont want to do this, this is hard, i have no idea on how to do it, do you?"

he would say "yea"

then i would say "really, well how do you do this?"
and he sat down and showed me...one by one.

another thing that worked with my older son last year...who didnt mind homework so much, just got frustrated after a short time

we useed a timer.....we started with 5 minutes and when the timer wnent off, we would stop doing homework

if 5 minutes to long, then do 1 minute...whatever it takes. but when the bell rings, you have to stop....no matter what...even if they want to continue...

let them get in the habit of just sitting down with the open book and work your way up...

(let the teacher know thats what your doing also)

slowly increase the time when you and her feel ready.


i'm just trying to throw a few ideas out that worked with us for a while....for a while is the key word here....

hey, ill just keep coming up with ideas if i can get them to sit down and do it, but i wont battle with them. I just dont feel its worth it in the bigger sheme of things.

i know we all want our children to do well, and not behind, but we can only do what we can do, and the rest is up to them

[rottymom]

Hey thanks for the replies! I was feeling really unwanted here on this forum because no one was responding to my post. I guess I suffer somewhat from low self esteem.
Seriously though, last week I decided just to let her do it and amazingly she knew all of her spelling words...WHAT?!! This child supposedly has a learning disorder that prevents her from connecting letter to sounds that make words. Yesterday my husband asked K how her spelling test went...she said "g-o-o-d". We just all laughed when we figured out she had sounded out good to us just like we have been doing daily with her spelling words. What a smarty...now if I could help her stop her stealing jewelry and the quick lies...hmmm.

[dadfor2]

now if I could help her stop her stealing jewelry and the quick lies...hmmm.



its always something, isnt it?...