[MichelleSchultz]

Question for experienced foster and/or adoptive parents:

If a child or children have a bond with siblings, is it possible to still have RAD?

[lucyjoy]

One cannot have RAD and be bonded. However, it is quite possible to have severe issues with attachment and still have some types of bonds. I've also seen siblings with trauma bonds which are very unhealthy types of bonds where they feed off each other's pathology.

[ahimsa]

I think Lucyjoy is on the right track. We know that our kids have attachment issues, maybe even severe attachment issues, and maybe even RAD. However, they have always been very bonded to each other. I had never heard of a sibling bond meaning that a child couldn't have RAD, but she's probably right. Either way, a child can definitely have attachment issues that may not be full blown RAD.

Good Luck!

[scandi]

As a social worker I work with a set of twins who are bonded with each other but have attachment disorder. I have understood attachment disorder to be about control - they do not necessarily have the need to control each other but the adults in their lives who have not been in control and kept them safe. Just some thoughts.

[Tudu]

I have asked this same question. My children seem bonded to each other but perhaps it is more of what Lucy was saying, a trauma bond. They continue to abuse each other and replay their past traumas here.
They seem to want to protect each other from me but will also protect my DD from me when she gets a time out. It is just whatever against me, not really to protect the child from perseived danger. I had not thought of it like that. They are not "really" accepting her, just using her as another excuse to rage at me. Thank you ladies!

[radblog]

A true relationship requires trust. Siblings inherently know that other kids are not very good "parents" so while they might interact with each other on different levels of engagement, each sibling is still the "only actor in their play". The parent/child relationship is one of trust... trust that the parent will BE the parent and will do it well, do it safely. And be more equipped to be the parent, allowing the kid to be the kid. Therefore the parent/child interaction has TWO actors in the play... and they play off of each other.