[AdamsAtomz]

where did you learn about attachment related problems?

Before or after adoption?

Did the orphanage or adoption agency help you in any way?

Did you learn through the internet and your own research or did you hear about it from a doctor such as a pediatrician or psychologist?

[lucyjoy]

Learned about attachment after the adoption of my sibling group.

Therapist we were seeing suggested attachment when my 9 year old said he liked moving from home to home and hoped to hunt someone down and kill them someday.
Was confirmed in the hospital.

Adoption agency(DFS) gave me a name of a support group which is now the Attachment Disorder Network. I met a therapist there who was able to help. After the school hotlined me on false abuse charges, the adoption agency did pay funding for intensive attachment therapy and follow up. Have since studied and learned a great deal.

I know from working with the Attachment Disorder Network that many parents are told nothing and SW usually blame the parents and do not provide any follow up help.

[kretzklan]

where did you learn about attachment related problems? I read many books due to some great advice from other adoptive parents

Before or after adoption? I read the books before the children were home and after (when I need a refresher)

Did the orphanage or adoption agency help you in any way? Our social worker mentioned there could be problems - but each case is so different. They've offered help (finding counselors, etc.) since we've been home.

Did you learn through the internet and your own research or did you hear about it from a doctor such as a pediatrician or psychologist? Again, mostly from these forums - others who have been there, done that.

[hophock]

Where did you learn about attachment related problems?

From a friend who is an adoptee and an adoptive father. His comments led me to search on the internet.

Before or after adoption?

After!!!!!!!!!

Did the orphanage or adoption agency help you in any way?

No.

Did you learn through the internet and your own research or did you hear about it from a doctor such as a pediatrician or psychologist?

Internet and own research (including many books, classes, & seminars.) Our psychologist has now greatly enhanced what I learned on my own. We've had to educate our pediatrician. After initial doubt, he is now on-board and is very supportive.

[ajjhmf]

where did you learn about attachment related problems?

Here and books before we started our training classes.

Before or after adoption?

Before, but only because I am a research nut. That is to say I KNEW about it before, but I didn't really get it until after.

Did the orphanage or adoption agency help you in any way?

Our agency is actually decent for a county agency on this subject. They helped us get in touch with the right therapist, arranged for payment (pre-adoption) and were supportive of attachment parenting.

Did you learn through the internet and your own research or did you hear about it from a doctor such as a pediatrician or psychologist?

We learned through the internet and on our own initially. Then, once connected with our therapist, we learned more. But it took us pointing it out and pushing to get the right kind of help to get anything started.

[AdamsAtomz]

keep it coming!

lucyjoy, thanks for the feedback again. I will definately have to look into the Attachment Disorder Network. This is my first time hearing about it but it seems like it could be very helpful.


kretz, what were you told by the adoptive parents who you talked to before your own adoption (please correct me if I am wrong)? Had they already experienced problems in adoption, or were they prospective parents also preparing for an adoption in the future?


Jfenner, it is good that your agency did actually help you. For the most part people tend to have a negative response when asked about their agency's assistance. If you don't mind me asking, did the agency help you with attachment problems specifically related to your child "J", or was it more of a broad discussion(s) geared toward all parents? By the way, congrats on the soon-to-be newest addition to your family

[chucknfw]

We adopted through a small agency that focuses on older children and sibling groups adoptions out of the Penza Region of Russia. We were encouraged to immediately start going to an adoption support group where we heard various families share their adoption stories as well as hearing from a few experts who had extentesive experience with attachment research and parenting.

We were asked to read Parenting the Hurt Child. This was a fantastic primer as well as a resource that we used under the gun.

We were also invited and attended a conference/workship at a university where social workers and psychologists received training on attachment therapy.

We adopted three siblings at once which were our first children. After our initial meeting with our children to be and spending a few days with our youngest son (20 months at the time), we realized that he was going to need some specialized attention when we brought him home.

I feel like we have to educate physicians, teachers, and other educators when it comes to our children. Attachment issues tend to be misdiagnosed(ADD) and our children can be medicated to the detriment of their devopment.

One of the challenges to attachment parenting is recognizing when your children are overstimulated, scared, or are struggling with sensory integration. We were very prepared for attachment issues, but the sensory integration challenges that we have been working through were not as noticable until our son was about 4 years old.

What has helped us the most?

The combination of
-pre-adoption prep

-support groups

-understanding that parenting post institutionalized children is different and sticking to our guns when ignorant people question what we are doing.

-having an expert (whether an adoptive parent that has been through a tough battle and is winning or a psychologist that knows children from our background) to occasionally call on for advice.

-realizing that well intentioned and trained people may not have experience with children from Eastern European orphanages.

-TIME, TIME, TIME
We adopted a keep it simple approach for about a year. We cleared our schedule of adult committments and focused on bonding as a family. Yes we gave up some things that we liked to do, and we are gradually adding them back two years later.

[hotspice58]

where did you learn about attachment related problems?


On this website.



Before or after adoption?

After foster care, before adoption.


Did the orphanage or adoption agency help you in any way?
NO! When I get re-certified, I'm going to bring up attachment issues and how it's not mentioned.

Did you learn through the internet and your own research or did you hear about it from a doctor such as a pediatrician or psychologist?

I brought up bonding with a therapist and he was nonchalant. At the time, I didn't know how serious it could be.

[ahimsa]

I adopted through Foster Care. One part of one night of our "training" talked about attachment. All that was really discussed was the attachment cycle and the signs of inhibited attachment. We didn't know that disinhibited attachment existed, so when our kids showed obvious signs, we had no idea.

It wasn't until 8 months after placement that a letter to the editor in Adoptive Families Magazine that was practically describing my daughter's behavior that I realized my kids had attachment problems. I then voraciously read every website and book I could.

I have since found an attachment center and did a seminar through them. Things are improving because of the techniques I have read about and tried.

[kretzklan]

Adamz -

The parents were in all stages of the process. Mostly on these forums - I read even when it seemed scary - I would rather know worst case scenario and that you can survive it - then not know at all!