[SydneyRN]

I cross posted this to the Guatemala forum also:

I haven't ever posted here before but wanted to see if I could get some input from you guys. We're adopting two sisters from Guatemala, a 14 month old and a 2 month old. The 14 month old had lived with mom until she was 11 months old, the 2 month old was relinquished at birth.

Our last medical report said that the 14 month old was showing signs of "abandonment syndrome". The doctor defined this is weak muscle tone, timidness, and fearful of strangers. She's not standing yet, doesn't show much desire to do so. They said that she sits with her legs straight out and scoots on her rear but doesn't crawl. When she was relinquished she weighed 15.6 lbs, gained weight up to 16.5 lbs but is now back down to 15.1 lbs. The doctor thinks she's drinking too much milk, so I'm hoping that her weight will go back up soon.

Anyway, my mind went straight to attachment disorder, but I'm now thinking I might have been over reacting. Per report she has bonded with her foster mom. We have pictures of her with her foster mom, sitting on her lap or being held, and even one where the foster mom is kissing her on the neck and she's just giggling and giggling!

From what I've read and from what I know, I'm thinking that abandonment syndrome is more of a type of failure to thrive than attachment disorder, though I know that the two can go hand in hand. Our agency contact was in Guatemala last week (we have a social worker in country full time but my case worker was down there too) and said that Leah (the older girl) didn't seem terrified of them, just preferred to stay with the foster mom rather than go to the strangers. I'm hoping to get to go visit the girls next week, which would put my mind at ease. Is there anything I should be looking for? Am I over reacting?

[rindava]

basic care from her birth mom....the not walking thing could be some other big issue...

you never really know how well a child may do once you get them.... if she is babbling and looking at people and interacting with the other children or caretakers in anyway...her overall development may be okay...

It never hurts to do attachment parenting on little ones when they are first placed with you...

It also isn't a bad idea to get her evaluated by PT and OT when you get her (usually if the child has delays they can qualify for early intervention or special ed services)

It could be that she is sad and scared and still missing her birth mom....

[Ktates]

Being fearful of strangers is actually a good sign - usually children who have some attachment issues seem very social and will go to anyone - which is not a good thing in children just adopted.

Based on what you said I would think the "abandonment syndrome" is more along the lines of not thriving than attachment. My daughter was less than 5th percentile for weight when we saw her at 12 months - I would have been scared at that number had I not seen her in person - she was tiny but not emaciated...which is what I would have that at that percentile...
At this point I would definitely be more concerned about her weight and not crawling - see if you can find out more info about life before they came to be with the foster mom - - some of these things are very common with kids in an orphanage because they get so little stimulation (although there are many cases on the Russia board of the kids eventually catching up!) - but perhaps even though they were with their birthmother the kids didn't get the attention/stimulation you would expect.
Best of luck

[SydneyRN]

This is what was in our update from our agency this month:

According to the foster mom, she asked the bio-mom what she did with (the baby) and she responded “I left her in the house on the floor because I had things to do.”

That left me in tears.

[Ktates]

Ugh - that would leave me in tears too - but it probably explains why she is not crawling. I would find out what progress she has made since coming into the FM's care.

It is amazing what love/affection/nutrition can do for a child - I would definitely read up on attachment and practice attachment parenting with the chidren. It sounds like both of them will need as much love and affection as they can get.

We lined up Early intervention about a month after we came home - they came and did a full evaluation and then came in every week until just recently.

Once you get to see the kids for yourself hopefully a lot of your questions will be answered and you can form a plan from there.
Best of luck!

[octavias]

how heartbreaking. I would certainly be brushed up on attachment parenting given that report. With two of them, I'm not sure how to pull it off, but I've heard other mom's see much gain when they wear little one's like that in a ergo or snuggly.
Somewhere on this board I remember seeing a great list of things to do with young ones to foster attachment, its other places on the net too, but I remember seeing it here. I'll see if I can figure out where I saw it and post.
God Bless,
Octavia