[britfish]

We have been home 5 months with our now 16 month old daughter. She still gets a bottle before naps and atbedtime. Recently she has been trying to hold her own bottle and if I don't allow her to or if I hold it with her she has a fit and wants to do it all by herself. We still give her the bottle to facilitate attachment so we certainly do not want to encourage her to hold it herself but on the other hand now bottles are becoming a battle and when she doesn't get her way she will not drink any bottle.
Any thoughts?

[Javalita]

No help for you - I noticed you didn't get a reply so I wanted to bump it up.

Sean hasn't started this yet. Occasionally I will let him have his own bottle (in the car) but that is very rare. I always give it to him and he thus far hasn't fought me much. I won't even let him touch the bottle...maybe I am the control freak!!!

So she just won't take it no matter how hungry she is?

[Dr. Art]

there is nothing wrong with a toddler beginning to express developmentally age appropriate independent behavior. If you have concerns about the health and security of the child's attachment, then you really should get this evaluated. But if you have no concerns, then what you describe is normal and I'd not recommend thwarting or fighting it. Again, if you are not sure, do get a professional assessment by a therapist who is trained in these issues.

regards

[lambeausam]

Even when faced with a budding toddler, bent on developing independence, you can still continue to use some of the attachment techniques that you have been using. Instead of holding the bottle, see if your daughter will tolerate you stroking her hands as she holds the bottle. Continue to talk or to sing to her while maintaining contact.

Sam

[britfish]

Thanks guys for your responses! Dr. Art, I am not particularly concernced w/ her attachment but still try to encourage it due to the short time we've been home.
Sam, I tried your idea and it worked great. She let me stroke her hands and then after awhile she let go and let me hold the bottle again! Thanks for the great suggestions!!