[Archive]

Originally Posted By Theresa

These children need to be diagnosed by an educated psychiatrist. Mine were. They do need tight structure & routine but may also present more problems than play therapy can address. We took ours to play therapy, Theraplay, & finally an ATTACHMENT THERAPIST. ( a must) Any meds- any other diagnosis?
A wealth of info is @ healtheheart.org
also emailing terri@gnww.net ( RAD mom & respite worker) is most helpful. She started this foundation/ organization & is moderator of this website & another one - for moms . She can tell you as I am leaving soon- my mom is dying.
Good luck!!!

[Archive]

Originally Posted By social worker

try www.attach.org and click on sites LOADS of information. read Adopting The Hurt Child by Keck. find a good therapist. try www.attachmentdisorder.net. These children can be OK with proper treatment.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Angel

Hi! I was just wondering what is attachment disorder? I am also sad to hear you mother is dying.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Don

Boy, there is a question with a long answer. Basically, attachment disorder is an inability to form a bond with a caregiver because of early neglect or other failure to meet the needs of an infant. To get lots more information, read books such as High Risk, Building the Bonds of Attachment, When Love is Not Enough, etc.

The secret to overcoming attachment is the right attitude. You must be loving, accepting, curious, empathic and playful. You must also not let the child make you angry. This can be the hard part. You don't use time out with an attachment disordered child, you use time in. In other words, you don't send the child to his room, you keep him right there with you. An attachment disordered child must learn that you are going to take care of him and that it will work out okay.

I would go so far as to say it is almost impossible to succeed with attachment disordered children without special training. However, it can be done without a counselor. We succeeded with our daughter because we were prepared for what we were getting into.

My email is cicero@myhome.net

Don

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Linna

I too would also like to know more about this since we are seriously looking at adopting a 16 yr old with attachment disorder. Our inder standing was it wasn't that bad it just takes time for them to adjust. We have also been looking for grants if any one knows of info on either We would grately appricate it. rvigil@plains.net

[Kira17]

Does anyone know if you can have an attachment disorder from not having that natural, blood bond from your birthmother? I was adopted at 3 months and eventhough I'm 25years now, Ive always had this feeling/hatered towards my adopted mother. I'm so afraid to be attached but at the same time I want to feel close with someone. I look to my relationships to find the security that I can't seem to find in myself.
Help?
Kira

[janeliz]

Kira, I'm finding out right now that that indeed can be the case. My daughter was adopted at 3 days old and she has just been diagnosed with attachment disorder. The separation from birthmother is enough in many cases to lead to attachment disorder. In my daughter's case she also almost died at birth. However, we and every doctor we've ever talked to (until recently) denied that there could be any attachment problems with a child adopted so early in life. We have a very stable and loving family and gave her everything we could.

Now we know that attachment disorder can happen with any adopted child, or even one separated from mom at birth for a few days for medical reasons or something.

I think 2 books could really open your eyes to this phenomenon:

The Primal Wound

20 Things Adopted Kids Want Their Adoptive Parents to Know
by Sherrie Eldridge

I hope you can find answers and get some counseling from someone experienced in attachment issues if necessary. You are NEVER too old and there is a way to heal from this!

Jane