[Sarah 1977]

My story and why I need to find out:

I was born in Little Rock Arkansas, I may have been in foster care of 6 months. I don't talk about it with my family.

My adopted parents were having a problem getting pregnant. So they decided to adopt. Soon after that they learned that my adopted mother could not get pregnant becuse she had ovarian cancer. She died when I wasn three. Other than 2 very very short marriages by my adopted father, I never had a mother.

Being a little girl and growing up without a mother was very hard.

Mothers day for me is such a confusing holiday. I think about my dead adopted mother, and I think about my birthmother that might be out that somewhere.

The worst part is wondering if my birthmother thinks about me. Does she think about me on mother's day? Does she think about me on my birthday? Does she wonder what I look like and how I am doing? Has she tried her hardest to completly forget about me. Would she be proud of me . . .

[seacritter2]

Dear Sarah

I am so so sorry you lost your mom.

Sandy

[eek40]

Your post touched me! I would be willing to bet my life savings that she thinks about you! I would be also willing to bet that she would be proud of the woman you are today. If you ever would like help in searching let me know Take care
Aimee

[Sarah 1977]

Just reading these responses made me feel a little better. : )

This has also been difficult becuase my family never talks about this issue. It's a little too taboo for our quite little well hehaved family. So, being able to communicate my feelings (even to a message board) gets me that much closer to closure.

I am in the process of registering with the Arkansas Mutual Consent Adoption Registery. So, I guess if my birthmother wants to find me this is her chance. : )

[eek40]

Dearest Sarah....
Please dont rely completely on the registries. They do work occasionally but they dont always work as both parties have to be aware of them. I heard that only 1 out of every 90,000 works for Soundex one of the largest registries out there. Yes they do help sometimes but not always.

Also my BirthMom told me that she was told by her case workers that she could NEVER ever look for me. That I wouldnt even know I was adopted and that she should never attempt to contact me in any way. She always wanted to search but was scared to do so. She felt that if I wanted to find her I would find a way to search for her. I think this is common in a lot of adoptions from the 70's. It was very hush hush...secret built on secrets. Just dont give up if she is not in the registry. Keep going. I am always availible to be an ear or shoulder when you need it.

Take care,
Aimee

[Sarah 1977]

Thank you so much.

do you have any advice other than using this website and the AR registery?

[eek40]

Sarah,

I would first make sure you have as much Non Identifying information as you can get from whom ever handled your adoption. Then I would find out if you can get into the birth index. I am not familiar with AR at all but I believe that all states have them. Between having your non id info and the birth index would give you her name (madien) and first name. Then you can narrow it down. How much information do you already have? I would be happy to try and help you as soon as you get that information...I honestly maybe no help but I know a lot of little things that just may work for you. Are you still in AR? If not consider using a search angel first then go to the paid searchers if you have to. BEFORE you pay anyone please contact me , I have been scammed before on that, and have a great searcher that I used. I hope this works out for you, remember I am here every step of the way.
Aimee

[gcanty]

I was adopted back in 1976. I have since been reunited with my birth parents. However, my younger brother was also adopted. I have been given some of the information he was given regarding his birth parents. I am new to all this and don't have any clue where to start looking. I didn't have to go through all this for my reunion. My father found me first. I would appreciate any advice that anyone could give me. .......thanks....Gina

[sdpmur]

Originally Posted by eek40

Sarah,

I would first make sure you have as much Non Identifying information as you can get from whom ever handled your adoption. Then I would find out if you can get into the birth index. I am not familiar with AR at all but I believe that all states have them. Between having your non id info and the birth index would give you her name (madien) and first name. Then you can narrow it down. How much information do you already have? I would be happy to try and help you as soon as you get that information...I honestly maybe no help but I know a lot of little things that just may work for you. Are you still in AR? If not consider using a search angel first then go to the paid searchers if you have to. BEFORE you pay anyone please contact me , I have been scammed before on that, and have a great searcher that I used. I hope this works out for you, remember I am here every step of the way.
Aimee

Aimee,
you seem to have learned alot about adoption. I completely understand what you are talking about when it comes to adoptions in the 70s. I am a sibling. I want to find my sister who was put up for adoption without much help from my mother. She acts ashamed, afraid, and completely unsure about the whole process. I really do not have any idea how to get started myself. Do you know of anyone who can give me advise.
Dee

[lwymer]

Dee,
What information do you have?
Please let me know and I'll be glad to try to help point you in the right direction.
-Lorie