[UnconventionalMom]

Hi, I posted up in the special needs forum but I don't know if they can really relate... We took legal guardianship of my niece last year. As much as I don't want to declare war on her mom, every time she sees her mom she goes into this awful fear reaction and makes herself and us miserable for 3+ days. It doesn't matter if the visit is at our house or somewhere neutral.

Is there anyone out there who has dealt with voluntary placements that are... tenuous? The state is not involved at all. We're living in fear that if we say the wrong thing, her mom will show up on our doorstep demanding her daughter back. The best possible thing would be for my niece to not see her mom much, if at all but I don't know if that's possible.

Any advice? TIA!

[AZInsider]

If mom still has her legal right intact then there's not much you can do. If she's willing to voluntarily relinquish her rights then you can file for custody, adoption, etc. The only other option is to get CPS involved but they aren't likely going to cease visitation, they'll still require visits because ultimately kids do still need to maintain connections with their birth family even when it's difficult. It sounds like they both need services though that can help improve the situation and rebuild that trust and sense of safety over time.

I'm sorry you are stuck in the middle of a very difficult situation!

[UnconventionalMom]

Thanks, that's pretty much what I thought.