[alindy]

We have two children ages 7 & 9 and were hoping for one child or a sib pair under age 6, ideally with only minor "problems". The process was taking so long (and our agency kept adding hoops for us to jump through) that we became discouraged. Because of this an after reading DianeS's reply to a recent post explicitly describing the trials and tribulations of adopting a foster child, I have decided to give up Fost/Adopt. DianeS- don't get me wrong- I do appreciate your harshly worded but honest description. It was a good wake-up call. This path that we have been on has been too long and I am not willing to jump through so many hoops without any kind of guarantee of getting a child. More importantly, I am no longer willing to subject my bio children to lots of drama.

New plan- I am hoping to pursue international adoption. It is obviously a lot more costly, but perhaps the best thing for my family. I am very interested to know if anyone out there has been in this situation and I welcome feedback. God Bless.

[azhellos]

Alindy, I wish you a lot of luck. I am just starting the process and not sure of what I think of it yet. I don't really get my questions answered and I get the feeling that I am not what they are looking for. I am 48 and single. I am going through a job change right now and I don't like the reception I am getting. But I will give it a try for the year and half they are quoting before I get a placement.

[milasmommy]

I have waited for over a year for a child, even though I have told my agency that iw ill adopt almost ANY child age 0-4, any race, any sex, siblings, special needs. But I have not gotten any calls about children that are under my daughters age (6). I am beyond discouraged, and I too have been looking into International adoption. I am thinking Hong Kong, a baby with Down Syndrome. It should cost me about $10,000. but I just have no idea when I will get a call, or if I will, if I just sit around and waut for my agency to do for me what they said they would and could. I just don't know what else to do. Let meknow how your International quest goes. I may be on one of my own very soon.

[azhellos]

Originally Posted by milasmommy

I have waited for over a year for a child, even though I have told my agency that iw ill adopt almost ANY child age 0-4, any race, any sex, siblings, special needs. But I have not gotten any calls about children that are under my daughters age (6). I am beyond discouraged, and I too have been looking into International adoption. I am thinking Hong Kong, a baby with Down Syndrome. It should cost me about $10,000. but I just have no idea when I will get a call, or if I will, if I just sit around and waut for my agency to do for me what they said they would and could. I just don't know what else to do. Let meknow how your International quest goes. I may be on one of my own very soon.

What agency were you going through her in Arizona

[azhellos]

I have been licensed now for several months. The frist 5 or 6 no calls. I have had a few calls and gone on visits. But when they are going to move the case worker says they want a stay at home for mom for kids under 5.

[DryHeat]

Sorry to hear you have had such a difficult time finding a placement! Have you been searching out of state as well? I personally have only met one family that has been successful adopting within the state of AZ's foster care system. Everyone in our PS-MAPP class has gone out of state with the exception of that one couple(2 men) who did get a placement. We were licensed and had a match in 8 months, and that was a long time according to our adoption agency. The average is about 3-4 months.
We already have 3 bio children (4,10,12) so our wait was longer than most families. We adopted 3 beautiful boys from Oregon ages 4,6, and 8. They have been with us for 21/2 months and just started school today. They are the most happy children you will ever meet.
If you would like more information on adopting out of state you can email me directly at sxshirey@srpnet.com.

[adopt2010]

Wow that's unbelievable. Are you just straight state adoption or fost/adopt? I haven't heard a lot of good things about the AZ foster care system, especially being a single trying to fost/adopt in Arizona. It is quite disheartening.

[AngelArrow]

The system works like a snake slow very, very slow. CW say one thing then durning around and say another thing. The hoops we all have to go through is horrible. We wonder why these poor kids have RAD or trust issues and behavioral issues well when you are a kid and have to move all the time it is hard and on top having to loose everything. How come we have to go trough all these hoops? When his/her parents have so many chances they should not have in the first place. Well, here we give seconed chances that is an understatement. For us it was a long road as well and it still is. Sometimes We think these poor kids are just a number and a casefile good lord and Iam a social work major Does the mapp-training help We dont think so because, reality and not reality are to different subjects Sometimes all this beewax makes me wonder

[hopingfor3]

Well, this does not give me much hope. My husband and i are going to attend out first information meeting next week for az foster/adopt. We are looking for any child, any age, and disabilities, we just want another child.

-Melissa

[adopt2010]

let us know how it goes Melissa

[nikkimarie13]

I agree with you angelarrow. Az is incredibly slow. For as many kids as there is in the foster system, why are SW so slow about placements. Also why are the so fast at turning someone down because they are single. Yet so fast to give the child back to an unsuitable parent or family member. I am past frustration with this state and its system. I would love to hear more on how you can adopt foster children for out of state.

[AngelArrow]

Many SW have many children about 60 a piece. Most times they are lucky to find homes for the children, because Az does not have enough fosterhomes as it is. I dont discourage anybody from adopting from AZ foster care system I do encourage anyone to help Az kids, but be prepared for a long struggle. I dont know anything about out off state adoption so I can not give any advice on that, but I know single fosterparents, but the system is a turtle here. If you a not a patience person here you learn what the word means real fast. We just arrived from a function you see these poor souls you have to wonder how much longer these kids have to suffer in a system that so often defines the problem what these kids came into care for in the first place. Permancy is a strong word for anybody even our state kids

[adopt2010]

it's just sad that there are single people willing to be fosterparents but have to jump through more hoops than neccessary, and the people that suffer are not the CWs but the children. It just makes me extremely frustrated

[AngelArrow]

Not only single people have to jump trough hoops also couples keep that in mind. Nobody said becoming a F/a parent is easy it is just the way it is and it is frustrating. Now Arizona has several agencys here some of them have been mentioned some not. Now these agencys have numerous programs to get to know some children. While you get to meet mabye some children you will also mabye meet CW who have children any age range you get to know all kinds of different people, which means you get your name out. Key one get the homestudy however, if nobody can get to that point while you get your name out in the open go directly through people that have the power and voice what you like to do. A homestudy is just about your life, but when you meet people they can put a face to the homestudy. Alot of the children have different needs to prevent alot of moves for these kids cw have to find the best family that can handle does behaviors. The more open you are as a f/a parent the better it is for getting a placement. Now when you go to the orientation ask alot of question example, how many placements and so on. If you are unhappy with an agency change everything will carry over.

[BuckarooBanzai]

I feel all of your frustrations. We got spoiled with our 2. It was 13 mo for the first (including certification process) and 9 mo for the second (including recertification).

After our 2nd, we kept have kept our certification alive through extensions. We told our agency that we were open to accepting a 0-3 year old from the State, when we did our first extension 2 years ago. Last year with no possibilities, we expanded to State and Private. Now a year later, no possibilities. So, officially we are expanding the search to 0-6 and extreemly open to a sibling set of 2.

We have been looking out of state, but we are having difficulties with that. Our CW sends the HS and either the other end does not receive it or we just never hear anything back. It really gets you when you see that the children are still available months later.

To emphasis how slow State Agencies are: We found a child in another state. The child was a featured Wednesday Child locally. We inquired to the CW. She said to send our HS and that she might begin actively looking to place him the following month. That was 4 months ago and the child is still available. He was free and clear when we first talked with her. It makes you feel really bad for these children. We are waiting and they are waiting. What's the problem......