[azhellos]

Over the holidays I was again with naysayers. They have almost convinced me that the older children have been in the system too long or have seen too much and will be uncontrollable children. I don't believe this at all but since I have no experience with them please somebody tell me that they for the most part they will allow me to be thier mother and let me love them. How hard has it been for the older chldren to fit into a family. I know that they test the limit but how do they learn to trust and let somebody be their mother.

[shanzelka]

It would totally depend on the child. All kids have a little bit of attachment issues, so that would be a big issue to check on with older kids you are considering. Of our three girls, ages 8, 10 and 11, the 8 year old has definitely had an easier time bonding with us, and us with her. If I were to do this adventure over again, I would also steer away from kids with RAD--it makes bonding a zillion times harder to do. Good luck!

[azhellos]

I noticed that some agencies only handle certian children. Does AASK handle younger children, infants and older children? I used to look these things up everyday but the last few months I haven't looked but I am getting ready to go to an agenency. Approximately how long after getting your license do you have a chld in your house? DO you need to have the house ready (like beds etc) before you even contact the agency?

[azhellos]

I have heard about people adopting infants then someting on one post made me question if they are going through foster/adopt or just adopting through an agency. Are these agencies that are on this site for DES children foster/adopt, and foster. Or are these agencies one that are the expensive adoptins and how expensive are they. I would like to adopt an infant 0-3 possibly siblings or a single child. What is the chance of this happening and what agency is best for this? How do I find out what agency handles what age, etc children.

[shanzelka]

It takes about six months to get licensed and certified to foster/adopt. We had kids immediately, but they were emergency receiving and we didn't get to keep them. We got a child six months after we were licensed that we could adopt. Please educate yourself on the issues these kids can have and decide what you can and can't handle. The issue I would now, in hindsight, stay away from would be RAD. Originally we just said no to FAS/FAE, and anything you can't "fix."