[Archive]

Originally Posted By Jenny

I am a 25 year old adult who was in foster care between the ages of 16 and 18. While in this system I met many children who were waiting for a family to adopt them. Some of the children were adopted and some never were. The ones that I knew that were (and they ranged in ages of 12 to 17) only one ended up being a troubled child (he was 15). The other children went on to have very satisfing lives. Most went to college and 3 graduated with honors. The gift that those family gave them was to help them be part of a family and not just part of a system, which promoted self esteem.
Unfortunately, the children who were never adopted always have seemed a little lost and most have been in jail or mental hospitals. It isn't an excuse for them, but it may help to understand how important it is for everyone to have a family.
My husband and I have one child that we hope to adopt soon and while he is 15 I feel that the bond between us is no less then the bond between my biological 4 year old daughter.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Nathan

Do you think this is because the families provided emotional stability, values, teaching, love . . .

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Jenny

Hi, That was a great message for me to hear at this time. My husband and I are seriously thinking about adopting a special needs child in AZ. Special needs meaning "older" Our children are grown and we feel we can reach out to at least one child. The stories about older children are just terrible, but you confirmed what I knew in my heart. Thanks for your beautiful message, Chris

[Archive]

Originally Posted By glenn Plott

thanks

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Malinda

Thank you for the positive posting. My husband and I are trying to adopt through the state system and just know in our heart it is right and it will be rough at first but so worth it. Anything in life that is good is worth a challenge and we feel so good about our decission to adopt a family and become something special a family together. When you are part of a family you do have something special in side of you. LOVE no matter what.

[gennorth]

My husband and I are looking at either international adoption or local adoption of a foster child around the ages of 3-8. Where should we start? I appreciate any info that anyone can give me.

Genevieve

[woverine]

Stability, consistency and love make a big difference.

gennorth. I am biased but I believe that taking an older child from your area is wonderful. Children over the age of 3-4 become 'special needs' simply because they are not cute, cuddly babies and it becomes more difficult to place as they get older. We have a set of twins that 'are in the system". They have their moments but it is worth it. Even if they go back to Bmom, they know they are loved and have grown to find out what family can be.

Just because they are older does not mean they are destined for trouble. Trust may take longer to build but consistency and stabilty pay off in the long run, as Jenny stated.

[JenWen]

Jenny, I just read your post. Thank you very much! My husband and I are planning to pursue adoption from the foster care system in the Spring and are looking to adopt a child who is 9-14 years old or thereabouts. Based on your experiences, can you offer any suggestions for easing their transition? I would think it is a little delicate.. because they need some personal space at this age.. but they also want to be part of a family..

We're really excited about this.. but nervous too. There isn't as much info out there about adopting teens.

Jen

[arizona]

thank you so much for that post. It really answers a lot of questions like do they get as much from the situation as we do.

To the person woverine who said when they reach the age 3 and 4 they are considered older and specail needs. Is this true? I would never have believed that.

[NatelisaAz]

we are looking into adopting from the state as well and looking at children 10 yrs. and younger. I'm a child care provider in my home and my husband is a behavioral health specialist for children so we are very prepared. I'm in Yavapai County and have only found 1 place to go through. Catholic Social Services in Prescott. Anyone know of anywhere else?? We have also thought of siblings. We saw 2 girls on a photolisting in CO and would LOVE to get them but, need a homestudy and quick!
natelisaaz