[LinkChild]

I have recently been found by my sister,who was also adopted out right before I was...Her life was so much more difficult than mine was, and it was hard and sad. Mine was so much better and happier...she was put in foster care, and made bad choices...How do I relate? I want her to confide in me, but she doesn't open up, I know it takes time...but i mean..she wont even answer a direct question I ask. How do you open communication? I want a sister, not a stranger. and she looked for me, shouldn't that make a difference? If anyone has any advice...anything at all, i'd be so grateful. Im only just out of highschool, and she never graduated, and its a bit of a mess.

Link

[sspete]

Hi Link--Reunions are a bit of a roller coaster ride and even though your bsister found you she still probably has to take things at her own pace. People have such different personalities that it is really hard for everyone in the reunion process to want to take things to the same level, in the same time frame. Be patient and take your time---the best relationships take time to develop--as hard as it is your patience will pay off in the long run. Believe me I understand that it is easier said than done, I have NO patience!!! I am learning though---My bdaughter is not ready for direct communication yet, but I will wait forever if this is what it takes to get to know her!!! Best of Luck to You---Many Blessing and Prayers for you and your sister on your new relationship!!! S Pete

[Shannonfay]

Hi
There are support groups available in some areas, in which you would be able to talk to other people in similiar circumstances which might help.
Do you live in Alberta?
~Shannon

[TracyP]

I hope you guys r able to grow a strong relationship b/c it sounds like u both want to know each other. I know it'll work out if you just keep trying to talk to her. I think she's just hurt right now and needs time to think about everything.

I have a similar situation b/c I was given up for adoption and I just found my bio mom. I also found out I have 3 half siblings. I have a younger brother that was adopted by our uncle and my other 2 siblings are with my bio mom. My brother and I were given up b/c she had us young and it was accidental. Anyways, my point is my brother was raised in the bio family and he also grew up with a stable wealthy family. I on the other hand grew up in a unstable very confusing family with another brother that was adopted as well.

At times I feel sorry for myself and compare my life to my other siblings and wish things could've went a bit differently. Although I love my brother I grew up with I also think it's weird that I didn't grow up with my bio siblings and I feel like I was deprived from knowing them. I'm rambling a bit but what I'm trying to say is one minute I want to know them so much and then the other I'm hurt b/c they have and had so much more opportunity than me. It makes u feel like an outcast sometimes and no body wants that. So, if thats similar to how your sis is feeling she just needs a loving person to have patience and understand her. I know she'll get over it and hopefully u guys can have the strong bond that u both really want.

Tracy

[LinkChild]

Hi I want to thank you guys for replying, i really get caught up in the emotional rollarcoaster im going through right now. I do know for sure that my sister craves love, because she is almost obsessive in her search for our biological family. It's harmfull how she basis her identity on those of people she doesn't really know yet, and that she has in many ways, rejected her adoptive family. She comes to me seeking answeres and family. IT's hard though...to be so much to one person, you know? I feel...almost burdened with her emotions. Does that make me bad to feel that? To be somehwat hesitant at getting too close? I don't know.

It will work out, i hope.
God bless