[shay34]

When do you think its a good idea to start the nursery and buying baby items since you do not know when the baby will come? Will you wait until the baby is home with you? Or will you prepare before hand and to what degree?

[cagurl]

The first time we had everything ready and I would just sit in there and imagine what our baby would be like. thankfully our wait was only a total of 4 months.This time we had no time to prepare.I shopped in 1 day!The next day the baby was home.I personally liked having the room and clothing ready.This helped decrease stress.The bottom line for me is whatever way it happens is a blessing that I am thankful for. Good luck in whatever choice you make.I realize some get depressed looking at babythings without a baby.For me the things made the fact that a baby was comming real for us and our families/friends.

[derwil629]

Well I personally think setting up the baby room is a great idea....We are thinking about the same thing and we haven't even finished our homestudy yet..I have a new nephew due in August and I'll go buy things for him and always wind up keeping a few for myself...Go ahead have a little fun.....If you were having the baby naturally you probably would shop the whole nine months which is alot longer than 3-6mos.....Go ahead..

See you at babys-R-Us

[Harambe2]

I set up a nursery the minute I got a foster parenting license. It was really fun. I did find it discouraging when the room sat empty for a year while I waited for a foster placement (not many little ones in my area). It was even harder to look at when I had an adoption placement that fell through. I had to put everything in storage because I couldn't bear looking at it. Now that I'm trying again I'm kinda glad I have the things on hand even if they're not set up yet. I want to know for sure my little one is coming before I do anything. I guess the answer to that question really just depends on what you can handle if a placement falls through.

Hope this helps,
Dawn

[HollynSteve]

I'm the type of person that can let things be undone. So we had a nursery ready even while we were just trying to get pregnant. When we moved to the new house the first and only room to get paint on the walls was the nursery. (I've since done two bathrooms and am in the process of redoing the nursery) It's nice to have time to figure out what way I want the furniture to be set up. I must have already changed it 10-15 times. LOL

On the other side of that, if you are a person who is emotional you might want to wait. Since we have no real idea how long it is going to take to be picked by a bmom. It could be hard to see the empty room.

[crysmith]

I was just thinking about the same thing...

I called my best friend today and said "I'm ready to buy baby clothes" She laughed!

I just submitted my application and will be assigned a social worker soon. Then the homestudy. I am pretty optimistic about it all!

However, I decided to hold off on the purchasing and painting until after the homestudy is complete. Hope this helps.

[Brat]

Our extra room is just a mishmash of old couches and other furniture we don't know what else to do with. I'm one of the emotional ones to which Holly referred. There is absolutely no way I could set up a nursery in there. I can barely get through the Pottery Barn Kids catalog that, unsolicited, starting coming to my house several months ago.

My ex-sister-in-law had this friend who had this nursery all set up in her home as she and her husband struggled to have a baby. I was at her place, and I remember the crazed look she had in her eyes as she showed me around. There wasn't just a crib, but all these elaborate decorations, and everything you would ever need--it was just packed. No baby ever slept there. They eventually divorced. So, now I'm paranoid.

Anyways, one of my friends recently divulged that she's been secretly saving up her baby's things for me. I'll have a bassinet, clothes and what have you if suddenly needed. If I can stand it, I've been thinking about seeing if one of those online baby stores has shopping carts where you can just save things get them shipped overnight.

[crysmith]

I understand! I'm a big emotional mess :-)

I will definitely hold off until the homestudy is complete. I have decided, however, to purchase small things and store them in the spare room...things like burping clothes, diapers/wipes, small bath toys, etc...when they are on sale. Target has a Fall sale right now and I am going this weekend to pick up a FEW things. It's exciting....I believe that what God has for me it is for me...A baby will come to us very soon. I'm very happy with my agency Adoptions Forever (Silver Spring).

Good luck!

[Brat]

I very much admire your strength! You are a little further along than me, so perhaps once our homestudy is complete, I'll have a little more nerve. I agree with what you said about God's plans. He knows what He is doing.

I do a little window shopping when I have a baby shower to attend--insanely enough, I had three in one month this summer. Thinking about what I might want to buy for my child takes a little bit of the pain out of walking up and down those aisles, seeing all that cute stuff. Right now, I kind of feel like an imposter, but I probably need to stop being so pessimistic and believe God knows what is best for me and my sweet hubby.

Have fun on your shopping spree!

[crysmith]

Brat,

I understand EXACTLY how you feel. I think any soon-to-be-mother has been in those shoes. My friends and family are more excited about this entire process than me -- we'll almost as excited. You aren't an imposter. I'm sure your homestudy will go well just like I believe my homestudy will be fine! Part of me thinks its too early to buy items but the other part of me remembers how I bought that college T-shirt before I got accepted to the college. When I REALLY wanted this job, I prayed and claimed this to be mine....it is mine. When I went shopping for a new car I picked up the new car books imagining me driving the car. Now, with the baby, it's no different. Let go of the doubt and just BELIEVE...it's amazing what positive thinking does for all of us! Girl, go out and buy something small...I highly recommend the book Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born [Hardcover] by Curtis, Jamie Lee...it's about adoption. Think about how great it will be to read to your new baby. Take care.

[May4u2nvme]

We also have just started the process and have not had our home study yet. We are both excited but I think me more so or at least I show it more in the way of impatience lol. Through the years when I have seen irresistible things I have bought it with the "when I have a child" mentality. I probably started when I was about 18 with a winnie the pooh book. And through the years have purchased little things like that. I have also always wanted to do a nursery with a jungle theme. Three days ago I started to paint a mural of a cheetah (which looks great!) and a couple of leaves here and there. Last night my husband helped me with starting the border, which I also want to paint by hand. I know it's early but I would like to have the room painted before the home study. I even made a book case about a month ago. :O) I am just one of those people that can't wait. But I know that after the home study they said though it usually takes 9-12 months we should be ready just in case. So that's when I plan to buy the furniture. As for clothes, bedding and the rest I think I have to wait since we are doing a domestic open adoption and don't really know if we will end up with a baby girl or boy. I am sooo happy for you all and to know I'm not the only one out there who "can't wait" ... good luck to you all!

[cathy102]

We just signed up with an agency yesterday and have our homestudy done. We have already been shown to expectant parents.

Our first adoption, I had the whole room done, stroller but no clothes. This adoption, I cleaned out the middle room, and made it into a playroom for my daughter (which will be the next baby's room). I'm not buying anything until we are either are matched or bring home the baby..

I think everyone is different in what they do. I remember sitting in our daughters room and rocking in the rocking chair crying and thinking about the baby in the bed, looking out at the lake behind our house, or even rocking her to sleep. You need to vision that because when you get your baby, it just brings back memories of how bad you wanted a baby..

You all will be in my prayers for your baby. God's timing is perfect and not a second late..

Cathy

[Brat]

I was just sitting here feeling so blue, as though my hubby and I will never, ever be able to adopt. I don't know when I have felt so down about it all. Thought I'd pop my head in here. God is so faithful, He let me read all these words of hope and encouragement. Thank you. God bless you all!

Maybe I will go out and buy a little somethin.'

[cathy102]

I see you post all the time..God does have that special child for you. Just hang in there and God won't let you down!!! You will be in my prayers that you get your little one soon!!

Cathy

[redhedded]

I do not post here, as you know I am not African American. However, I wanted to jump in, since you said that you were feeling blue. We had our nursery painted, furnished entirely and decorated. We had piles of gender neutral clothes, diapers, towels and washcloths, everything we could possibly need. We had our stroller, infant carrier and two bases for our cars. We had even purchased books - and ALL of this before our first homestudy house visit. Silly me, I thought we had to SHOW our Social Worker our physical preparation. That room had little life for more than a year, other than our Great Dane who occasionally poked her head in and attempted to lay on the carpet. Through two failed matches and what seemed an eternity, that space never made me sad; it affirmed that it would be filled when the time was right. Luckily we were ready, as our perfect Sai came quickly; there was no time for preparation following the call. Hang in there. I know how hard it is, but it will happen. Hoping you are feeling a little less blue today.