[Tjarron]

Hi everyone, my name is Terri and my DH and I are AA. I'm glad that I found this forum. My DH and I have 1 adopted son, Anthony 4yrs old and a 2yr old, Ayden that we are in the process of adopting. We are adopting both of our sons from the foster care system. A little of our background is around 3 yrs ago we found out that we could not have bio children, after I had a mc, we looked into adoption. After seeing all the money it would take, we had just about decided not to go forward when someone mentioned foster care. So we found a private agency here that is geared for African American adoptions thru foster care. They were great to work with, after going thru some classes we decided to straight adoption. We just couldn't imagine having a child live with us and then have to return them to their bio parents. So, after going thru the classes and everything and having our homestudy completed our agency had a conference and my DH and I attended. At the conference, at one class, we heard from a cw about a 3yr old little boy she was having problems placing. We told her we were interested and in about 2 months we had our first son!! He is a beautiful child. I can't remember a time he hasn't been in our lives.

After about 5 months I started looking again, something kept telling me I had another son. I received a few letters from the National Adoption Center, we had sent our homestudy to them, they match you based on what kind of child you are interested in and then send you a letter about available children that match. So I received one on an 18 month old little boy, and were we interested. I sent it back saying yes, but didn't really think much about it because he was so young and would be receiving a lot of inquiries. Well, in March my cw called and said that she had received a call from a cw in DE about us and that we were going to committee, where they pick the families, on this little boy. In April we got the word that we were picked and by the end of the month he was here. We decided to name him Ayden. He is a beautiful little boy also.

Sorry this got so long. I just wanted to introduce my family to everyone. I can't wait to meet all of you.

[AlissaLynne]

Tjarron,

Hello I am so glad that you posted to the group. I also have a son who was adopted at the age of 6 weeks via an agency and now we would like to adopt a daughter. This time we are going to go through the state. I am glad you are here, if I have any questions about adopting via the foster care/state system, I can ask you. We are going to start classes either in January or March, depending on lining up baby sitters for the classes. I am kind of nervous about going through the state because I have heard that they take longer before you recieve your child. Any advice you can give will be so appreciated.

Alissa

[Tjarron]

Alissa,

I would be glad to answer any questions you have about State adoptions. About the wait, well, I was looking for placement before our classes were even complete!

I see from your other post that you are in PA also, what city do you live in? We live in Harrisburg.

We were very blessed in our first sons placement. God answered our prays and we were chosen for him before our homestudy was even complete! For our second, it was almost the same thing, I was on the computer just about everyday looking for a match. I must have called my cw once or twice a day to send our homestudy out on children we were interested in. I've heard that PA won't send your homestudy out of state any longer because of how many kids that were being adopted from other States. You should check on that when you start classes. My second son is from DE, so I'm not sure if this policy has started or not.

Anyway, just ask me any questions you have. I look forward to talking to you. Oh, and if you can look out of state, definitely look at OH, because they have a lot of children and place out of state.

[AlissaLynne]

Tjarron,

Another PA person!!! Wonderful - we are right outside of Pittsburgh PA (Penn Hills) I am hoping that we are like you with matching soon. How long after you knew about your sons before they came home? I heard that the wait from the time that you submit for a child until the child is actually with you is a long time? I am pretty good with the private agency information but the state information is foreign to me. We went private and when I was adopting the first time, I did a lot of searching on my own, but because the agency that did my homestudy did not do outside matching I was not able to adopt children from the state. I love going to the Ohio website, they have a lot more younger children listed on that site and a lot of siblings groups. I told my husband to be ready to adopt two daughters instead of one. He just laughed and told me whatever I want to do is fine with him. I must admit I am very spoiled. I am glad that you are here, because I can tell now that I am going to bug the heck out of you once I start my classes. What agency did you go through for your homestudy and classes? We are going through the Three Rivers Adoption Agency - Black Adoption Services. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Alissa

[Tjarron]

Hey, ask all the questions you want, I did the same thing when we started. Here is our timeline for our first son:

Applied with our agency, Rejoice, Inc., in Oct 2000, started classes right away and finished them in Dec. My agency had their first Conference in January 2001 and we attended. At this time our homestudy was not complete, we had a new cw that was "taking" her own time. Anyway, at one of the classes we attended at the Conference, we were talking about how "picky" people were with waiting children. A CW started talking about how she had a 3yr old boy that was waiting to be adopted and she had found a family, but as soon as they saw his picture they had backed out. Everyone in the room could not believe what she said next, their reason for backing out was that he was "TOO DARK" and this was from an AA Couple!! No one could believe this, my husband immediately told her that we were "VERY" interested in this child. After the class ended she came up to us and got our name and our CWs name and said she would be in touch. About 3 weeks later our CW called us and said we were chosen to adopt this little boy!! He came home for good on April 4th!!

For our 2nd son, I heared about him in Feb., we were told we were going to committee in March. They called my CW (Another new one) with more questions on us, and she called and alerted us that it was looking promising. A few days later she called and said we were chosen!! He came home April 26th. So it was practically a year from when our first son came home. We plan on having 1 big party each April to celebrate our Sons joining the family. My first sons adoption was finalized on July 1st of this year and it will probably take until next summer to finished our other sons adoption. His bparents rights haven't been TPR'd yet, but it should be done fairly soon.

Sorry this got to be so long. The agency we use, Rejoice. Is an African American agency that focus on older child adoption. They have been great to work with, the only thing has been the turn-over of CWs. We are on our third cw with them. If you have any other questions, please just ask.

[Tjarron]

By the way. My job sends me to Pittsburgh every year for conferences. They are usely held at the Station Square. Maybe you know where it is located? Anyway, my husband is thinking of coming with me and we will be bringing boths boys. The first conference is in January and I believe the dates are towards the end of the month. I'll have to check and get back to you on that, but anyway, maybe we could meet. It would be great to meet another AA couple thats adopting. Let me know.

[AlissaLynne]

I guess I am gearing myself to wait awhile for our child. I want a daughter this time. I am hoping that she will not be older than my son. I really want my son to be the oldest. I also want a daughter and from my understanding there are more boys in the system than girls. I do not mind if we do not get an infant, I kind of like the idea of bringing home a toddler under 3/4 years old. My son will be 2 tomorrow - so chances are we are going to have to wait awhile until a girl younger than my son comes along. I am even willing to take a child who is special needs depending on what the needs are. Because I am not a stay at home mom, I can not take on a serious special needs child, but I am willing to take it to the limit. We are also willing to accept siblings too, but once again, I really want my son to be the oldest. I just have so many limitations that I know that I am going to be waiting awhile. With my son, I just wanted an infant, but this time I really want a daughter. So we shall see. I am praying that God gives me the strength to do this again and do it without being too stressed about it. I already plan on "bugging" my cw because I believe that if I am in contact with them on a weekly basis, we will stay fresh in their minds. It worked with my son, so I will try it again. I am going to remain positive and hopefully we will not have to wait too long. My husband on the other hand tells me that it does not matter if Jonathan (my son) is the oldest or not, but I just feel that because he was my first child he should be my oldest child. Just a little thing that I wish for. Knowing me, if they offered me a daughter who was the same age as my son or older than he is, I will probably accept. I just really want a daughter. I "borrow" my neice all the time - she is a month older than my son - and cute as a button. I am just in need of being a mother of a girl. Of course I may eat those words when teenage years come - but I will cross that bridge when I get to it.
Thanks so much for your encouraging words, they mean a lot to me. You would not believe how scared I am about dealing with the state. I am glad that you have positive situations. As far as the couple turning down a child because they are "too dark" that is just plain dumb. I guess maybe they want to pass the child off as their biological child. I personally think that skin color does not matter. But there are alot of AA people who are hung up on skin color. When I first met my husband, he was this way, which amazes me because I am dark skin and he is lighter than me. I guess my charm shined through and got the better of him. Our son is darker than both of us and I could careless because I could careless about his skin color. If you want to see my family - you can - I am proud of my cutie pie (husband and son)
http:/photos.yahoo.com/alissalynne_2000 - then click on My Photo Album. You will see pictures of my hubby, my son and other family members. Yes I know where Station Square is - it is a very well known spot in Pittsburgh. I would love to meet with you and your family. That would be wonderful. If you are staying in Station Square - I hope your job pays because it can be expensive, but I think the rates are cheaper in January. Let me know when you will be here and we can maybe go to dinner or take the kids to one of those kid places. It would be so cool, it might even help my husband - he swears there are not a lot of blacks adopting. Who knows, maybe we will end up being lifelong friends visiting each other. My husband works for UsAirways and we can fly anywhere for free. (At least for now - who know what will happen now that they filed bankruptcy.) This is so great!! I am smiling so much I think my lips may freeze this way - even though that is not a bad thing. Much better than freezing in a frowning postion.
Alissa

[beverly gardner]

Alissa,
I know how excited you are about getting a daughter. I want another daughter too. I have 16 kids and 10 of them are boys. I had a 3 year old, beautiful, angelic daughter pass away a year ago. I know she's in heaven waiting for me. It's been so hard. There are more AA boys out there, that is why I have so many. But don't give up hope, you will get a girl, and yes she may be older, but like you said, she will be great and and won't care how old she is. Basically, your son will still be the big brother. He will think so anyway. Good luck, and God Bless.