[beverly gardner]

Anyone looking for a black or bi-racial baby, look at S.T.A.R. adoptions in NY. I told them how many children I have and that they are special needs, and they sent me a reply immediately telling me to send them my home study. I would send it if I could get my DHR here in AL to update it. But that's another story.
Bev.

[PHaley]

When I was still in highschool I had discovered STAR but for some reason they had completely slipped my mind these past two years. Thank you I will definately contact them.

Could you give a little more feedback about your experience with them?

[beverly gardner]

PHaley,
I was just roaming around on the internet for a special needs child and came upon them. They said they prefer people with 3 or less children and that are AA or CA/AA but I thought, what the heck. My dh and I are both white, but we have 11 AA and CA/AA kids (16 total). I know it's hard for agencies to find people that will take the special kids, so I gave it a shot. They responded in a hurry.
Bev.

[PHaley]

Where did you find them?
What is the agency? What is their web address?
You said they have AA and CA/AA and u said special needs...do they have infants or toddlers? What do u mean by special needs?

16 WOW what is the age range of your children? I dont know if your particular story is posted somewhere else but I'd love to hear it if you have a chance.

I wasnt sure if you were saying you adopted through the agency, were looking to or just wanted to share that they have kids? If you worked with them could you share a little more about your experience?

Thank you for the heads up

I hope all of your support and suggestions will lead me to becoming a mommy in the VERY near future.

[beverly gardner]

PHaley,
Yep, 16, most of them are special needs (blind with CP, Down Syndrome, Fetal Alcohol, Receptive language disorder, JRA, mixed developmental delays, most are drug affected). We have 4 biological, 1 adopted through Lifeline Adoptions agency, and the rest are children from our state agency. I was just poking around to see if there were anymore kids that need a home, and came upon STAR. There address is www.adoptionstar.com
I would love to adopt from them sometimes and it seems like they have mostly babies.

[tatertot89]

Hello honey!!! I want you to know that I am praying that the Lord helps you through all this and leads you down the path tha that will make all your dreams come true. I am not going to say anything about your age (bc I am 21 and also researching adoption...However, I am not planning on actually starting the process for 2 more years~~I turn 22 in May, so I figure by the time I am 24 I will have a good chunk put back for adoption fees and future baby items... ..Anyway...the only advice I have for you is lot of praying and thinking. There are many good parents out there that are single...But, do you think that you would be happier sharing your special little one w/ the love of your life? I am only asking bc I have been sooo lucky to find my soul mate and could never imagine not having him there beside me to share in my happiness as I hold our child in my arms. I am not however, saying that you need to wait until you meet your potential soul mate...only saying that you may be happier in the end if you waited.

However, I am told EVERYDAY to wait.. and dh and I have been married two years and have been through a miscarriage a year ago and continue to keep trying to have children. I have been going on this roller coaster ride for a year and a half and know how you feel when people give their opinions about waiting...(However, don't take it to heart...They are just trying to help...and while it doesn't make our process any easier....It does start to sink in after a while...That is why I have decided to wait 2 years...Not only to make sure that everything in my life is stable but to make sure that I am completely ready for something soo special...) I love children and can't wait to become a mother (bio or amom, but I am willing to wait as long as I have to for something that will be sooo special and such a major impact on my life.

I know I have rambled on and on...but I wanted you to know that we do have a lot in common...and to let you know that you are not alone...You have to do what is best for you!!! Just make sure that when someone says something to you (about their opinions) you actually listen (bc others~~take for instance me~~didn't listen at first and disregarded any ones views on waiting...Now, I have the attitude..that why do I need to rush it...I am young...and want to have children young...But who says in 2-3 more years I won't be young??) So, dh and I have decided that we are just taking it day by day and If God chooses us to get pg again....Then GREAT..and If he doesn't and we end up adopting in a few years...Then GREAT!!! I am ready for whatever is in my future..bc I know no matter what..I will be a mother!!! And that gives me something to live for everyday~~RIGHT NOW!!!

I wish you lots of luck and lots of strength...Please fill free to pm me if you have any questions or just need someone to talk...Good luck Honey!!! and God BLess!!!!

Tatertot

[PHaley]

Last night 2 of my very close friends and I were openly discussing the rash of newborns being abandoned in our area. We all share the same disguist with the numbers and the cruelty behind the murders.

Then it got me to thinking, I was telling them about the Safe Haven acts and how many sates allow for infants newborn up to 3days/1 week/ 30 days/ 60 days/ 90 days and some as high as 1 yr! to be given up at designated locations, normally hospitals, fire stations or to clergy persons without fear of prosectuion.

So I was thinking if this service is available, why is it so expensive to adopt a newborn infant? Wouldn't it make sense that these abandoned children are put in temporary foster care until permanent situations can be secured? Shouldn't the state be able to offer more unprepared mothers this outlet and more prepared and willing adoptive parents, the newborns that they long for?

Just wanted to open it up for discussion because it really pains me to read and hear about these cases on the news everyday when I want so badly to open my heart and home to a beautiful child whos birth parent can not cope. I'd love to hear your opinions...

[beverly gardner]

The babies that are abandoned are given to foster parents or adoptive parents that are on the state list to adopt. I honestly think that some of these babies are given to adoption agencies to place privately. The state's are not exactly honest in the things that they do.

[PHaley]

Thanks for the reply--
You know i thought about that but didnt want to think it REALLY could be a possibility. I only wish the states made more of an effort to secure the lives and futures of these angels and took into account all the good they COULD/WOULD do by opening their doors to more people that want to adopt.

[PHaley]

Has anyone ever adopted w/o an agency (private or state) being involved? What I mean is due to my age and the unwillingness of many agencies to work with me right now I am looking at the option to use a single social worker for my homestudy and a lawyer to complete the legal aspect...Is their a professional I'm leaving out? Is this even an option? I dont have a large adoption budget as I've said before can anyone speak to how much this might cost? There are two agencies I've found that will work with me but 1)needs my homestudy completed by an agency, they are in NY (STAR) and I am in VA; and 2)needs is soley for placing, they are in CA (PACT)... I am sure that I can and would benefit, as far as being matched and recieving support and education, from working with either however I do not see the point in paying a placing agency when VA law allows preadoptive parents to advertise and of course there is allways networking

Any points of view, experience, information and/or suggestions are welcome and will truly be appreciated.

All I want is to be a mommy and to hold my little bundle(s) of joy ASAP and to raise them up right.

Thanks you again for all the wisdom and support I have recieved on this forum and in advance for all that is to come.


Continued good luck and blessings in your adoption journeys also.

*Feel free to email me personally*