[Sleeplvr]

Shai's mom I have to ask a question...

The question was asked about AA's adopting/fostering outside the race. My stance is that black children are in crisis when it comes to fostering/adoptions in this country. Are you suggesting that we as in AA's ignore their plight (they are last on the list of desirability in adoptions) and focus on being colorblind? In my mind if we are truly colorblind we will take the first child available and for AA's that will most likely be an AA child if that is the racial makeup of children available for adoption in your area.

There is a difference in being open to whatever child comes your way and specifically seeking to adopt outside the race when you are AA. When you are AA most likely you are stepping over and turning down AA kids before that other race of child shows up. In order for AA families to achieve rainbow status they will have to close their eyes to immediate need. My DD arrived in my home in 3 months which is the time it took to finish my paperwork...I finished my paperwork and she was waiting. Before we finished our foster parent training our first foster child was already indentified and he transitioned into our home the same month we finished training. How long do you think an AA family would have to wait to get a child of another race when CC families have extremely long wait times?

[nickchris]

I was wondering too, why is wanting to help our aa children such an issue? Especially, since this is the aa adoptive parent site. Racist, and limited, I agree totally, there are quite a few such persons out there, my little innocent son had to deal with that real early by his little classmates. The amount of melanin is a big issue to racist people, and not so racist people, terrible issues for sure. Being a minority, I would love to not have to deal with it popping its ugly head to me, and most importantly my children. I have never seen it so evident as when I started this adoption process. Since reading about the one drop rule, I have never seen folks break down to the 1/8 the racial make-up of a person, to make the child appear more desirable. I have yet to see a large amount of cc bioparent say they are okay with an aa raising their child.

[hopeful-okasan]

yes i would adopt a child of a different race than I. (AA-) race has never been an issue for me, and in the end u are the one that will be with the child, not anyone else. You can adopt anyone u want, i dont pay any attention to others one sided point of views.

[teendoc]

Originally Posted by hopeful-okasan

yes i would adopt a child of a different race than I. (AA-) race has never been an issue for me, and in the end u are the one that will be with the child, not anyone else. You can adopt anyone u want, i dont pay any attention to others one sided point of views.

Are you AA? If not, the response you gave is not germane since the question was not whether you would adopt a child of a different race, but whether you as an AA parent or parent-to-be would look to adopt a child of a different race.

Our children are too precious to be relegated to the bottom of the barrel. And as for this "we're all flowers" foolishness said by Shai's Mom, I'd have to say that clearly you've not experienced life as a vilified minority in America. It amazes me how much some people refuse to acknowledge race politics in this country.

If I wish real hard, can I pretend poverty, disease, suffering and strife don't exist as well?

[Linny]

Liana:
I think the poster above you was answering the last question nickchris had posed.

--Linny

[nickchris]

Oh was it directed towards me, I did not see it that way? lol Okasan is AA, however, I think teendoc reply is still right on the money. I have traveled, am well educated, loved my career, and have a successful AA husband, who provides for me to be a SAHM for our children. I know where I came from, and am very blessed. Our blessings have helped us towards meeting our AA baby girl, who is beautiful, and we are blessed to have her. I have other avenues to think outside the box. C'est la vie . ;-)
I am following WWJD, He came to His own first.

[teendoc]

The answer didn't seem to be a reply to what Nick*Chris asked about why is wanting to help AA children an issue. So both nick*chris and I are both confused.

Originally Posted by Linny

Liana:
I think the poster above you was answering the last question nickchris had posed.
--Linny

And it was hard to know where hopeful-okasan was coming from in her reply. There are very few blacks who can say that being black was never, ever an issue for them. But more power to them. That has so not been my life experience.

[Linny]

This was the section I was referring to. I may be wrong here, but I was trying to figure out what she meant and was giving the benefit of the doubt.

I have yet to see a large amount of cc bioparent say they are okay with an aa raising their child. --nickchris

And with that, when Hopeful-Okasan answered she'd adopt a child outside of her race....that's what I thought perhaps she was answering, that's all.

Linny

[hopeful-okasan]

Linny u are absolutely right!!! THANKYOU, people seem to jump to conclusions. I MEANT adopting a child of another race has never been a question for me. YES I am African American! sheesh!, and of course their are times when being AA isnt the easiest thing in the world. I was SIMPLY, answering the question, teedoc i was not refering to race not being an issue for me, i meant accepting a beautiful child of any race, has never, and will not be a problem.

[nickchris]

I do not think *I* jumped to conclusions,, maybe Linny did since she made the implications that your post was directed to me, if not then she would have posted an open ended suggestion. My answer was generic to this topic.

Linny, if that was her answer to the sentence I previously posted, then it did not correlate, and that is why i did not post a reply. In addition, the sentence was not a question, but a statement based on my observations.

For future reference, I am a straight forward poster, if anyone has a question about what I meant, ask respectfully, or Pm me.


You all have a good Sunday...

[teendoc]

Well isn't that sweet, hopeful-okasan.

I'm a bit more pragmatic and race conscious. When black children stop being the least desired children to adopt; when discounts no longer need to be applied to black and biracial children in order to entice people to adopt them, then, and only then, will I entertain a "race doesn't matter" insouciance in my adoption choices as a black woman.

Our children are jewels and should be treated that way.

Originally Posted by hopeful-okasan

Linny u are absolutely right!!! THANKYOU, people seem to jump to conclusions. I MEANT adopting a child of another race has never been a question for me. YES I am African American! sheesh!, and of course their are times when being AA isnt the easiest thing in the world. I was SIMPLY, answering the question, teedoc i was not refering to race not being an issue for me, i meant accepting a beautiful child of any race, has never, and will not be a problem.

[almostthere]

My husband is white and im black, DH wanted a black boy i wanted any type of boy, we got a match for a AA boy we are both over the moon!!!, I use to think i only wanted to adopt AA children but when i met and married the man of my dreams i decided that race really was NOT, but i totally see some of the points that were made by others that AA children are he least wanted especially BOYS so if your goal is to help someone and build a family why not be open to any type , we live in california and there are a LARGE amount of Hispanic children more then any other race we were open and repaired for Latin children

[teendoc]

Originally Posted by almostthere

My husband is white and im black, DH wanted a black boy i wanted any type of boy, we got a match for a AA boy we are both over the moon!!!, I use to think i only wanted to adopt AA children but when i met and married the man of my dreams i decided that race really was NOT, but i totally see some of the points that were made by others that AA children are he least wanted especially BOYS so if your goal is to help someone and build a family why not be open to any type , we live in california and there are a LARGE amount of Hispanic children more then any other race we were open and repaired for Latin children

I too am married to a white man, but this does not disabuse me from the belief that race still matters in many facets of life. Again, I see more people being comfortable with adopting Latino/a children than black children. As such, we as a couple were clear that we would adopt a black or biracial (including black) infant, and we did.

[almostthere]

it is important to see that our children get taken care of but i was not going to say ONLY black even though thats that my husband said i believe God will give me the right child and he did our little guy is perfect in every way hes got beautiful brown skin and the most amazing eyes and that fact that hes black is not as important as the fact that he is such a great guy , every one is different our sw called yesterday saying they had an AA girl 18months that was healthy and perfect but no one wanted her, she had been in a match with a couple who one was black and the other white and they decided they didnt want her because what they truly wanted was a mixed baby (WHY PEOPLE ARENT HONEST IN THE FIRST PLACE) but i have to think that there is a family that will love her as much as we love our little guy i would hate for her to go to some one who is black just because they feel obligated to do so

[makarios79]

Originally Posted by almostthere

it is important to see that our children get taken care of but i was not going to say ONLY black even though thats that my husband said i believe God will give me the right child and he did our little guy is perfect in every way hes got beautiful brown skin and the most amazing eyes and that fact that hes black is not as important as the fact that he is such a great guy , every one is different our sw called yesterday saying they had an AA girl 18months that was healthy and perfect but no one wanted her, she had been in a match with a couple who one was black and the other white and they decided they didnt want her because what they truly wanted was a mixed baby (WHY PEOPLE ARENT HONEST IN THE FIRST PLACE) but i have to think that there is a family that will love her as much as we love our little guy i would hate for her to go to some one who is black just because they feel obligated to do so

I'll take her...I would LOVE to have a girl. Black, white, hispanic etc...I don't care, I just want a girl...lol

When I signed up for fostering/adopting I told them I would only take girls and I was very adamant about it. BUT I ended up getting blessed with 4 sons ( 2 foster only) and (2 I will be adopting VERY SOON) and although I still dream of having my little girl(s), I really believe that God made sure he gave me the right children and if I had stuck to my guns and kept saying no boys, I wouldn't have my precious (hard head) little boys that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

However, I'm still hoping to get at least one girl ..Please God! (lol)