[teendoc]

Hi Everyone,

Many private adoption agencies offer either discounts or subsidized fees for those looking to adopt black or biracial children in order to encourage people to adopt these children. As a black person, I found this practice difficult to swallow. On one hand, since I was looking to adopt a black/biracial infant, the lower cost benefited my wallet. If someone wants to spend an extra $10,000 for a white child, that's on them. Yet on the other hand, the message that becomes clear is that costs are lowered because these children are less desirable than white or Asian children. And that makes me sick and heartbroken.

Moreover, I visit certain adoption boards, including here, and find white parents who can't afford to adopt an infant from the Caucasian program but instead will adopt from the black/biracial program because of the lower costs. It feels so troubling to think of the black infants being adopted due to costs rather than desire.

Thinking about all this made me want to ask opinions of black adoptive and birth/first parents about this practice. How does this make you feel? Should all costs be equivalent across the board for all infants/children regardless of race/ethnicity? Yet as minorities in this country earn less than comparable majority individuals, if we do away with these subsidies/discounts, will even fewer black families be able to afford adoption?

This is an evocative topic, and I appreciate any and all thoughts shared. There are no easy answers, but it is worth discussing.

[Linny]

Teen:
I hope this is not offensive because I'm not an AA person. However, dh and I have adopted five infants...the first two being Asian, because we lived in Japan during the adoptions, and the last three being AA babies.
I understand your comments and concerns. It was always our desire to adopt babies that were not caucasian...regardless of cost. In fact, we tried to adopt Asian/Japanese babies 25yrs ago, knowing that these babies were often considered undesireable to families. We were not allowed to do so.
One other comment I've always been appalled at, is that while some agencies have chosen to charge the same across the board regardless of the child, WHY are the fees now over-the-top?
Seems to me that if an agency can conduct an adoption for 10k.....then ALL adoptions should be able to be done for the same, regardless, KWIM?
I tend to believe that agencies are overly greedy, period.

Sincerely,

Linny

[teendoc]

Linny,

Please forgive me. Though I was looking to solicit how black parents felt about this discounting, I didn't mean to imply that I didn't want to hear from other non-black parents.

I appreciate your thoughts. It does indeed seem like adoption agency costs are extremely high. Though I benefited from being in the black/biracial program, I think the $20,000 in costs that we incurred would be more than enough for an infant of any race! I couldn't imagine adding another $10,000 for a white or Asian infant. Exorbitant!

Originally Posted by Linny

Teen:
I hope this is not offensive because I'm not an AA person. However, dh and I have adopted five infants...the first two being Asian, because we lived in Japan during the adoptions, and the last three being AA babies.
I understand your comments and concerns. It was always our desire to adopt babies that were not caucasian...regardless of cost. In fact, we tried to adopt Asian/Japanese babies 25yrs ago, knowing that these babies were often considered undesireable to families. We were not allowed to do so.
One other comment I've always been appalled at, is that while some agencies have chosen to charge the same across the board regardless of the child, WHY are the fees now over-the-top?
Seems to me that if an agency can conduct an adoption for 10k.....then ALL adoptions should be able to be done for the same, regardless, KWIM?
I tend to believe that agencies are overly greedy, period.

Sincerely,

Linny

[nickchris]

The fees are getting crazy, and the max when I started was roughly 15,000, includ. finalization, maybe most of the travel expenses. Dh and I were turned off by the fee scale based on race, with the so called *full aa* baby being at the lower end of the fee scale. ick! We were told the scale was used, because there were more aa babies out there, and they were considered special needs (this is not foster care, but private agencies saying this)
However, we did not want to spend a crazy amount either, then you add biomother expenses etc; it can add up real quick.
I think the fees in general are getting outrageous, and the amount should be across the line for all, but at a lower amount.

[Sleeplvr]

I had some serious issues with fee structure for AA/biracial infants. We ended up choosing an agency which used a sliding fee scale.

The one fee difference that always left a particularly bad taste in my mouth was the fee difference they had for what they considered "full" AA and biracial. They are both black in my book but agencies expect you to pay more if the child is biracial.

When we first started looking into adoption I came away feeling devalued. It can really bruise your self-esteem if you are not prepared to see how AA's are valued or devalued in the adoption world.

[teendoc]

The only thing I can say is that our agency doesn't separate and charge more for biracial infants than full AA infants. That gave me some ever-so-slight (minuscule) consolation.

But I totally hear you. It feels so devaluing to realize that you are "worth less" if you are black or biracial.

Originally Posted by Sleeplvr

I had some serious issues with fee structure for AA/biracial infants. We ended up choosing an agency which used a sliding fee scale.

The one fee difference that always left a particularly bad taste in my mouth was the fee difference they had for what they considered "full" AA and biracial. They are both black in my book but agencies expect you to pay more if the child is biracial.

When we first started looking into adoption I came away feeling devalued. It can really bruise your self-esteem if you are not prepared to see how AA's are valued or devalued in the adoption world.

[Sleeplvr]

I had a thought that probably won't be well received. Just keep the fees low for same race (AA) placements. If someone is willing to pay 30K for an CC infant then charge them 30K for an AA infant. SW's need to do a better job of weeding out the bargain hunters.

[kelceesmom]

I am not black but just wanted to have my feelings known if you are ok with that.

I for one think that adoption is to expensive for any race. I definately feel that there should be less spent on adoption so that you have that money to use as your child grows. The first couple of years is so expensive and I for one could have used a little extra in my pocket to feed, clothe, and diaper my child.

[mommmmy]

Also not black, have adopted a black child, hope to adopt again.

We went private independent adoption and there were not any difference in fees based on race.

I was totally appalled to find out that this went on. But then there have been many things I've found out in the adoption journey that are quite sickening.

I'm all for adoptions being less costly! I think things have become outrageous.

I do have huge concerns about people who might be turning to minority adoption because it's more affordable or the wait may not be as long. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for children having homes! It just really concerns me that maybe people are not doing it for the right reasons.

[jaenelle]

Well, we always wanted to adopt an AA baby, and I hope to again. We would have regardless of fees, because that is what we feel we were meant to do. I found some agencies that DID charge the same for all races of children. The agency we used did NOT -- their fees are quite a bit lower for AA babies. However, we did NOT choose that agency because of the COST of their AA program. We chose them because we wanted to adopt an AA baby, and their fee structuring was what we wanted (no money due until placement in many cases). This allowed us to save the maximum amount and borrow the smallest amount possible, because we waited until we had our daughter to pay the agency. We also liked the shorter waiting times this agency had for ALL races, although the wait for AA babies was not quoted as particulary short -- 6-9 months. Personally I am for anything that gets children adopted quicker... and if that means reducing fees, then great. HOWEVER, I think fees for ALL adoptions are too high, regardless of race.

[vernellinnj]

Thinking about all this made me want to ask opinions of black adoptive and birth/first parents about this practice. How does this make you feel? Should all costs be equivalent across the board for all infants/children regardless of race/ethnicity?

I must say - when I went to a seminar at a popular agency and discovered that this was indeed the practice (discounting AA/Biracial children), I was floored. As a novice to the adoption industry, I was just....floored. Now, I must admit that as a single AA prospective adoptive parent, I was not upset at the thought of having a balance in my savings AFTER adoption. Nonetheless, I would have to say I do not think there should be lesser fees for AA/Biracial babies. Perhaps additional financial resources for those choosing to adopt? As you say....no easy answers.

If anyone had told me that adoption would be so complex, I would have never believed it. Ultimately, God led me to Foster/Adoption (though I haven't ruled out private independent adoption). Who knew?

Allow me to say - I LOVE THAT THERE IS SO MUCH ACTIVITY ON THIS BOARD!!!

[enerad]

First our agency didn't charge a different price of different races. We were told it might take longer to adopt a CC only child. Being a transracial family, and frequent the transracial boards, it has bothered me to here the people say they are choose to adopt AA or biracial children because it's cheaper.

[nickchris]

My dh was very turned off as well, and did not take to all this break down on top of the regular adoption roller coaster.
I agree with those that express discomfort of seeing folks who will go for the quicker, cheaper placement, w/o really searching their hearts, and resources in the raising of a black child. I have seen where the biracial fees were a bit higher than "full aa" fees, as the description of these children have become popular. I would like to add that aa male children are at the very bottom of this hierarchy. I have also seen where the children mothers were described in detail if there was any aa mixture. A *full* aa mother will be described as light skinned or the dad is, and with the full aa mom... there seem to be a reason to indicate that she is attractive. I have seen racial mingling broken down to the 1/8th if there is any known CC in bio mom or dad. Oh yea it is out there, and I found such descriptions very blatant.
Fees, and the history of being sold in slavery is another reason behind blacks being turned off by the race driven fee scale, and very high fees.
There is also the possibility that our children may find out later that they were adopted at a " lower fee". Considering that a lot of adoptees do process their being adopted, it may not be viewed in a positive way. So yes, it is not that simple.

[fastaff]

I totally agree, as a black woman, hearing that adopting children of color was 'cheaper', bothered me terrible. While, yes, I love to save money, I deliberately chose an agency that DIDN'T subsidize if you adopted AA/BR...this was important to me....I just felt insulted by the the gesture..

[bromanchik]

I am a CC birthmom and, IMO, I find the practice disgusting and really degrading. I know that adoption agencies need to charge for the services they provide, but do they give less services to those who are adopting AA? A little more to those that adopt bi-racially. Even more to those that adopt CC? Of course not. That would be unethical. I also see it as unethical to put a price on adoption based on racial make-up. Do the adopting parents of the biracial child get a partial refund if they are darker than what they believe a bi-racial should be? Do they have to pay more if the full AA child's skin is lighter?

It does encourage people to adopt transracially for the wrong reasons. I have seen this too many times to count. And don't even get me started about how the kids will feel about this one day.