[nickchris]

Ya know I have learned so much on many levels during this adoption process, still learning too . I just chalk it up to using the any knowledge for the best now.

[cmcmanigal]

Teendoc,

I'm not AA, but this topic has been on my mind as well. In an ideal world fees would be the same for all babies regardless of race. Unfortunately this type of fee structure is a reflection of how messed up our society still is in regard to race issues.

I pretty much had the same thought process as you when choosing an agency. My final two agency choices included one agency that "waived" their advertising fee for the AA/bi-racial baby program and another agency that had a sliding scale fee based solely on your income. The total cost for both agencies were very similar, but I chose the first agency because their placement times are faster, I don't have to pay anything until matched, and their headquarters are located in my hometown. I can't help feeling icky about the whole situation though.

Let's hope in another twenty years these subsidies will be a thing of the past.

[Sleeplvr]

Finances will make you do crazy things. I would have a much easier time swallowing the fee differences if the low fees for AA kids where at an agency that only placed AA kids. I figure they know their clients and would do a pretty good job of solicitating families. It is more of a slap in the face when you go to an agency and they have two or three fee schedules based on race.

Our foster care adoption was extremely difficult and I didn't know from day to day where we stood in keeping him. Our private adoption was a breeze and cost a pretty penny. In the end we were out of pocket zero for both kids. For our private adoption we had employer contributions and the tax credit which brought us back to zero. Not bad at all.

[lishop]

I have known since I was preschool age that I would adopt a child of a different color than me, I have just always been drawn to the beauty of African American people (and many others). Our daughter is 6 and from Liberia. It is crazy to me that an international African adoption is usually much cheaper than domestic. We are now adopting an AA infant and this adoption will be $10,000 more than adopting from Liberia.

I have always thought it is a disgraceful practice for an agency to have different fees for CC, BR, AA. My mom says she feels sick to her stomach when she hears that. It would make more sense to either do a sliding scale based on income (therefore making it easier for people with lower incomes of any race to adopt) or just to charge the same for each adoption.

It is actually more expensive through our agency to adopt an AA baby (and the two agencies we have been sent to do not make any distinction between AA and Biracial in their fees). Our agency is also currently placing more CC babies than AA. So, obviously we are in this program because we want an AA child, not a cheap adoption .

I also do not agree with people choosing to adopt an AA baby because their wait will be shorter or because of cost. These children deserve to be the first choice of their parents.

Melissa in Oregon
(Cade, 6 bio; Maya, 6 Liberia; waiting for #3 USA)

[riverview]

IMO, if it makes a child get into a home faster, so be it.... Although sheds bad light on the races involved and places a negative stigmatism on adoption , esp in the non adoptive people inthe world.... but.... in the end, the child is in a loving home. There are many aspects to adoption which are not fair, not nice or not respectful that we have encountered...........

[teendoc]

Getting a black/biracial child into a home of someone who wanted a white child but couldn't afford the higher fees is not an ends justify the means situation, IMO.

Originally Posted by riverview

IMO, if it makes a child get into a home faster, so be it.... Although sheds bad light on the races involved and places a negative stigmatism on adoption , esp in the non adoptive people inthe world.... but.... in the end, the child is in a loving home. There are many aspects to adoption which are not fair, not nice or not respectful that we have encountered...........

[Sleeplvr]

Amen Teendoc.

[nickchris]

Ditto here.

[adopt2010]

I couldn't agree with you more Liana. A child should be placed in a home with parents that actually want them. These children should not be looked at as consolation prizes b/c CC parents couldn't afford CC babies.

[jadasfostermom]

Originally Posted by teendoc

Getting a black/biracial child into a home of someone who wanted a white child but couldn't afford the higher fees is not an ends justify the means situation, IMO.

You said it Teendoc!!

[Linny]

I've known, I've heard, and I've read of couples who actually returned their AA baby, because they felt the baby was too dark (or was going to be). I blame this mistake---not only on the people who are supposed to be 'parents' (and I have to question their parenting ability ).....but on the agencies as well.
In the same vein.....in an adoption class my dh and I belonged to.....was an AA couple. They had already received their child (a toddler) through foster-adopt, and were in the final stages to adopt her.
During the discussion, it was brought out that the girl was CC/AA. When we asked this couple how their parents (the grandparents) felt about the baby being CC as well.....the adopting couple said,
"Ohhhh, we haven't told them about that! They won't like it!!!"

Now, I have to question whether it was 'right' to place this multi-racial baby in their home or not????
IMO, it was not. They weren't ready to accept a child that might not have been accepted by others w/in their family, KWIM?

I don't mean to hi-jack this thread by stating this, but goes to show too, that a baby should be wanted within a family, period. If the couple isn't willing to accept ALL of what the child is, then they shouldn't have that child, KWIM?
As for us, we would not accept CC babies, period. We also told agencies that we didn't feel right about accepting AA/CC babies either. While we are 'seemingly CC'.....our baby at home then was AA. We were not going to have any other babies who didn't share the AA ethnicity with her; and we didn't.

Sincerely,

Linny

[Sleeplvr]

There are reasons why that AA couple may have said that and I have a pretty good idea why. I will not go into the reasons why and I'm pretty sure that the extended family would not have had a problem with the child but rather the bioparents. Why was the child placed for adoption and not raised by the bioparents?

This situation is not a good example to compare to a CC couple adopting a biracial child and not acknowledging the AA part. It is not the same...
The difference is that the child is still black and no one will question his/her racial identity when he/she is with a black family. They accepted that child based on what he/she looked like and how they would be viewed by society.

[Vogi2002]

Originally Posted by Sleeplvr

This situation is not a good example to compare to a CC couple adopting a biracial child and not acknowledging the AA part. It is not the same...
The difference is that the child is still black and no one will question his/her racial identity when he/she is with a black family. They accepted that child based on what he/she looked like and how they would be viewed by society.

The child is not JUST black and I'm sorry but there are some HUGE generalizations there. The child is CC AND Black. Just because society views them as black does not mean they lose the CC part. I'm sorry but I am proud of who I am, as a CC woman, just as I am proud of who my son is, an AA boy, and to discount one race to prove another...is never doing anyone good.

Just my opinion.


As far as the different fees go...well we will probably have to chose an agency with this so we can afford another adoption if we go with an agency. Sad? Yes...but we simply can't afford the 30,000 or more. I guess what is sad to me is that these black children...are not looked at as "equals". KWIM? Although on the other hand, no matter what race a person is, it can be hard to see yourself with a child of a different race. Not all of us, but for some of us I can see how a person doesn't automatically just be open to all races.

I personally think there SHOULD be a different program for couples adopting transracially...but not lower fees. But ALL of these couples, AA, CC, Asian, Hispanic, etc, ANYONE open to a child that is a different race is going to face issues that they need to be prepared for and may not be comfortable with. So it should be a different program simply because there needs to be things addressed that there may not need to be if, for say, you are AA adopting an AA child, or CC adopting a CC child.

Hope this makes sense...

[riverview]

someone who wanted a white child but couldn't afford the higher fees is not an ends justify the means situation

That is NOT what I said. In the end, no matter what the child has a home. That was the ONLY point I made, do not read more into it or put words in my mouth. I did not mention people wanted a white child, did I? I did not mention that they could not afford the child , did I ? NO< the only thing I said was that the CHILD was in a LOVING home!

[Sleeplvr]

Consider this... The majority of AA's (at least 95%) plus in this country are biracial or multiracial so what I say is true. The child is considered black by this country's standards of the one drop rule. If we were were living in Africa it would be a different story. Blacks in this country would not be considered black by African standards but rather colored or mixed race. I personally don't know a single AA person who was born in this country who isn't biracial or multiracial. The Biracial or multiracial designation is not tied only to your immediate parents, it remains generationally and that is something the adoption industry abuses.

Originally Posted by Runyan2002

The child is not JUST black and I'm sorry but there are some HUGE generalizations there. The child is CC AND Black. Just because society views them as black does not mean they lose the CC part. I'm sorry but I am proud of who I am, as a CC woman, just as I am proud of who my son is, an AA boy, and to discount one race to prove another...is never doing anyone good.

Just my opinion.


As far as the different fees go...well we will probably have to chose an agency with this so we can afford another adoption if we go with an agency. Sad? Yes...but we simply can't afford the 30,000 or more. I guess what is sad to me is that these black children...are not looked at as "equals". KWIM? Although on the other hand, no matter what race a person is, it can be hard to see yourself with a child of a different race. Not all of us, but for some of us I can see how a person doesn't automatically just be open to all races.

I personally think there SHOULD be a different program for couples adopting transracially...but not lower fees. But ALL of these couples, AA, CC, Asian, Hispanic, etc, ANYONE open to a child that is a different race is going to face issues that they need to be prepared for and may not be comfortable with. So it should be a different program simply because there needs to be things addressed that there may not need to be if, for say, you are AA adopting an AA child, or CC adopting a CC child.

Hope this makes sense...