[joskids]

"However a black couple can easily raise a white/black child without preparation. Why? Because white culture is the dominant culture in our society. There is no need to be educated/inculcated into this culture because it just is. We blacks move back and forth quite regularly between black and white cultures. We have to.

With regard to the original poster's question, in our situation, our white birthmother who was pregnant with a biracial child wanted a biracial or black family to raise her child. This was important to her because she understood one of the major tenets of being black in America: race matters."

Liana, yet again, VERY WELL SPOKEN. It's amazing to me how many of us white folks don't get this!!!! Blacks have had white culture shoved in their faces for centuries. Whites, on the other hand, have a habit of turning their faces away from what they don't know, thinking it doesn't matter to them. Obviously, many of us on this site are multi-cultural families and open to raising children that don't look like them. The realities, of course, are that there are racial issues that we just cannot understand because we haven't lived them. (Even Tom Cruise . . . go figure, haven't figured out still how he knows so much about post partum depression). I feel like I understand racial mores pretty well, yet, with a black husband and black children, I'm still learning every day.

[teendoc]

Originally Posted by joskids

Liana, yet again, VERY WELL SPOKEN. It's amazing to me how many of us white folks don't get this!!!! Blacks have had white culture shoved in their faces for centuries. Whites, on the other hand, have a habit of turning their faces away from what they don't know, thinking it doesn't matter to them. Obviously, many of us on this site are multi-cultural families and open to raising children that don't look like them. The realities, of course, are that there are racial issues that we just cannot understand because we haven't lived them. (Even Tom Cruise . . . go figure, haven't figured out still how he knows so much about post partum depression). I feel like I understand racial mores pretty well, yet, with a black husband and black children, I'm still learning every day.

Josie, I'm a member of your fan club!

[nickchris]

I meant to reply to Josie, and Casey's posts.. you all are fabulous folks.

[joskids]

Thanks "Liana" and "NickChris". I'm nowhere near "fabulous" but I do have a heart that tries to understand the hearts of others. And I've been blessed beyond measure because of it. Hugs.

[nickchris]

Good way to be, its on my list of self improvements.

[BethanyB]

Teendoc I LOVED this post!

I'm having a little trouble with some of the thoughts expressed her. I wonder how well many whites who adopt transracially are indeed prepared for raising a child whose background is different from their own. I submit that many of those parents are not particularly prepared/educated unless they choose to do a lot of homework about what it means to be a minority (and especially a not well viewed minority) in America. Some, like Tom Cruise who adopted a biracial son, do not recognize the effects of race on the psyche. Tom has given the, "he's not black, he's my son" line many times. Well Tom, he is BOTH. One doesn't take away from the other.

However a black couple can easily raise a white/black child without preparation. Why? Because white culture is the dominant culture in our society. There is no need to be educated/inculcated into this culture because it just is. We blacks move back and forth quite regularly between black and white cultures. We have to.

With regard to the original poster's question, in our situation, our white birthmother who was pregnant with a biracial child wanted a biracial or black family to raise her child. This was important to her because she understood one of the major tenets of being black in America: race matters.
__________________

Took the words right out of my mouth!

[JPDakota]

Our family is mixed enough to raise the occasional eyebrow at the mall. DH is Asian, I am CC and DD is AA. One of the reasons we chose to adopt was that I was adopted. DH was very much in the minority where he grew up. I learn every day from him and my DD what it is like to be a minority. He learns as well, from me, what it is like to be adopted. But DD is African-American, and that's just plain different. Seriously, people can pretend it isn't, but in this society is it. I am often humbled by how much I have to learn. Fortunately, we have lots of folks in our community, and I do mean OUR community (Asian, AA, CC, Catholic, adopted, Republican, computer geeks, something other than thin, etc.) But don't think for one minute I know what it is like to be Black. That we will learn from our daughter.

[teendoc]

Originally Posted by BethanyB

Teendoc I LOVED this post!


Took the words right out of my mouth!

Thank you!

[ContactChar]

Originally Posted by bromanchik

Why should the education of CC adoptive parents be different than that of AA adoptive parents adopting transracially? As far as ignoring the child's racial heritage that does not match that of the adopting parents... I have seen this in CC adoptive families that have adopted transracially. I guess I find your statement makes some pretty broad, general assumptions.

You're right, and judging from the reaction in the thread, I think I failed to articulate my point correctly. In my experience (with my agency, and the few other sources I examined), transracial adoption education was geared towards whites adopting from other cultures, so I was operating under the assumption that whites adopting transracially have received at least some "training". When I was faced with situation of adoption a mixed race child, it hit me that this would be a transracial adoption, and that I might want to kick into gear to learn something about Filipino culture, as well as AA/Filipino culture. I didn't feel that there was a formal method for me to accomplish this. . . I just had to figure it out on my own. I assumed that the transracial training offered to white parents was fairly extensive. Of course, I could have been wrong.

Also in my experience, folks who are black, black/white, black/Asian, black/latino, etc. are generally considered black by the outside world. Black parents of biracial children have the option of resting on their laurels more so than white parents, because the difference may not be as stark. I'm not saying that black parents WILL, just that there is more of a choice (right or wrong). Because of this, I thought there may be a fear by some expectant moms that the non-black side of their child could be ignored or at least not honored equally with the black side. I believe this would do a disservice to the child, whom I feel should be able to celebrate each of his or her different backgrounds, as well as the blending of the backgrounds in him or her.

The point of my original post was that these were all things I thought about at the time that situation presented itself (and later, an infant who was latina and white), and that I was surprised that none of them had really occurred to me before.

[JPDakota]

Well, maybe you failed to articulate it, and maybe I just misread it. You never know when you're not looking at the person. Sorry.

[nickchris]

I still think for most, there is more than the fear of the child's white side being overlooked. If there was a major concern then the biomother(parents) desires should indicate more than (or it should be brought to her/their attention) white. White is a general term, if the case would be cultural; it should indicate: Scottish, German with a bit of French. Now who is counting their privilege of just being? Still why a cc couple over a full AA couple? Resting on their laurels? so now it is a privilege to be black person in society in general, it is just a as broad a statement. Blacks cannot be well learned, knowing other cultures, languages? all of us are just incapable. How many black persons are without other races in their DNA? AA's have been handling racial intermingling way before most others in this society would even acknowledge it. Excuses, excuses.
I do not buy that, folks just think that a lot of AA parents will be ignorant in the raising of their child, and in general.